Shits On A Plane

(CNN) -- Fresh on the heels of one budget airline announcing that it will ask passengers to pay extra to bring carry-on bags on board, another is considering charging them for using the lavatory. Ryanair, which is based in Dublin, Ireland, and bills itself as "Europe's first and largest low fares airline," is mulling a plan that would require travelers to pay either 1 euro or 1 British pound (about $1.33 or $1.52) for using the bathroom on flights lasting one hour or less.

Like I said before, America is under attack. Charging for luggage is one thing, but asking me to fork over my hard earned euros to take a dump is quite another. And you just know that if people have to pay to drop a load they are gonna get their money's worth and blow the shit outta that bathroom, destroying the rest of the plane in the process. Cause I'm just telling you that if I come out of a pay toilet on a plane it's gonna be another 9-11.

And there better not be a timer on that thing. Sometimes I have so much built up from the Burger King at La Guardia that I need a solid 45 minutes to take care of business and unless you want me blowing poop particles all over the plane with each fart then I suggest you give me my alone time.

But on the other hand if I have unlimited time then you know I'm gonna take a shit, disable the smoke detector to burn a grit, and then take another huge shit. It's gonna be a longer line than the DMV. Fuck that noise. If you wanna make more money then just turn each individual seat into a shitter where I don't even have to get up and block the beverage cart when my stomach starts churning, or bill me $1.50 for my diet coke instead of making me pay to shit because if I run out of change or the pay toilet is locked then nobody is safe.



Thanks to Jmase for the link