Pistons Hit A New Low With That Vanilla Ice Halftime Show Tonight

Despite a win tonight over the Bogutless Bucks it's still glaringly obvious that the Pistons organization is slamming off rock bottom harder than a crawler harness in the Detroit River. Quite the turn of events for a once proud franchise that had made 6 straight Eastern Conference finals as recently as '08 and packed The Palace every time they took the floor. Now Joe D and company are so desperate to put asses in the seats that they're rolling out the red carpet for Rob Van Winkle whose only major accomplishment in the past 20 years was making a Trishelle sandwich with Ron Jeremy on the Surreal Life.


What a total gong show. The NBA could seriously fall off the face of the Earth tomorrow and I wouldn't even notice.

It's Official, Tom Gores Buys the Pistons

Tom Gores called a press conference to address the Piston fanbase for the first time as the new owner a few days ago and he came off basically as expected. A businessman. Some thought his childhood in Michigan might lead him to be more of a fan-type owner like Mark Cuban and throw money hand over fist at free agents but that doesn't seem to be the case. When asked what was more important, winning a championship or making money, Gores artfully dodged the question implying that they go hand in hand. And he's right. If Gores turns Detroit back into a winner then the Palace will fill back up and his money will come pouring in. But anyone who was holding their breath for any basketball related news from Gores is surely on life support because there simply was none.

Here are 3 takeaways from the presser...

1 - Gores will not immediately sell off DTE or any of the other venues included in the deal. He plans to make Palace Entertainment a big part of the Pistons and vice versa.

2 - Coach "Kooster" is dunzo. You mispronounce your coach's name 3 times in 15 seconds and that means you never plan on learning it.

3 - Joe D is Gores' go-to man for the immediate future. Gores knows how to make money but is short on the basketball knowledge. He mentioned several times that he believes in the same set of core values that Joe does. It'll be interesting to see if that translates into wins and what might happen if it doesn't.

John Kuester Will Be Out As Pistons Coach

In other "no kiddin" news I'd like to announce the sun will rise tomorrow and that Bmase is still overweight. The only thing left to do now is officially can his ass and find a new coach before every solid candidate is gone. I would've really liked Mike Brown but I'd probably settle for Larry Brown at this point. Only half kidding about that last part.

Charlie V Showing a Little Heart, I Guess.

With 5:47 left in the Pistons’ 110-101 loss, Villanueva and Hollins started wrestling with each other when Villanueva went to set a pick. Both were pulled back to their respective benches and things appeared calm, but after both players were ejected, Villanueva sprinted across the Palace floor toward the Cavs’ locker room.

He was grabbed by Rodney Stuckey and Pistons security head Jerry Hendon and they were able to get him under control. But later, Villanueva attempted to get to the Cavs’ locker room, only to be restrained by Auburn Hills police. As he was escorted back to the Pistons’ locker room, Villanueva muttered, “I will kill that dude. I don’t give a (expletive).”

Villanueva said Hollins said something to set him off, but wouldn’t reveal what it was. TV replays showed Hollins nailing Villanueva with an elbow earlier in the quarter and Villanueva retaliating during the scrum that caused the ejections with a subtle jab to the groin. “He threw an elbow, caught me in my leg. I told him, ‘Just watch that elbow.’ He said something real smart so I got angry in the heat of the moment, that’s about it.”

I'm guessing the something that Hollins said, had to do with Charlie having a vagina, which was probably the tipping point. The guy went straight into crazed Ron Artest mode. Gave me a Malace at the Palace flashback. Too bad this team is way too gutless to actually throw a punch, excluding Big Ben of course. That dude is obviously unbalanced.

Pistons Finally Sold to Tom Gore

Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead! Not literally dead, as all of us at JBS wish Karen Davidson a long and healthy life, but Stones fans can only hope that the finalization of this $300-$400 million dollar deal will mark the end of this evil spell they've been under.


One would also assume that Joe D will be given one last chance at building a contender and should have a blank check to get it done as Gore tries to prove his savvy and dedication to a fan base that has all but lost interest.

Darko Auctioning Off His 2004 Pistons Championship Ring

Darko Milicic is auctioning the 2004 NBA championship ring he won with the Detroit Pistons to raise money and awareness for children dealing with the terminal illness Batten’s disease. Milicic is also auctioning off the championship belt that was given to him by Rasheed Wallace. He got the idea from Ron Artest, who auctioned off his Lakers championship ring to raise money for mental health programs in schools. Those interested can purchase raffle tickets for $2 to be entered in the drawing. Milicic said it will stay open for about two months before a winner is chosen. He is also giving away an all-expenses paid trip to an NBA finals game in June.

Milicic won the ring as a little-used rookie on the veteran Pistons and he struggled to assimilate to life in the United States as an 18-year-old, so the sentimental value of the ring isn’t great. When asked if it was a tough decision, Milicic said “no, especially saving the kid’s life. A ring is a ring. A ring is going to be around. If that ring can save as many lives as we hope it’s going to save, that’s unbelievable. The belt was different because the belt was a gift from Rasheed Wallace,” Milicic said. “I think he’s going to understand. It’s going to a great cause.”

I got really excited when I first read this headline. I mean a chance to own the greatest piece of Detroit sports memorabilia of all time doesn't come along everyday. Could've got every blueskier to throw in a few bucks and made a pretty solid offer on this thing too. But turns out it's a dumbass raffle. Son of a fuckin bitch. Now I got the same chance as every other schmuck in a Stones jersey to win this thing. Life ain't fair sometimes.

My birthday IS coming up though and having 143 entries in this thing would be sweet. Get on it Blueskiers.

PS - I 100% don't think Sheed is okay with this. He was probably pissed off enough just having to make Darko one in the first place. And now people expect him to just sit back and watch as Darko sells off everything he ever acquired as a Piston. I wonder if he's gonna auction off the "Human Victory Cigar" nickname too?

Stuckey benched after refusing to go back in the 4th quarter of a losing effort.

It's getting ri-goddamn-diculous trying to keep track of who is beefing with Kuester at any given moment these days. I almost missed this story entirely because I honestly thought they were still talking about the last time Stuckey was benched for ignoring Kuester. This is #3 if you're keeping track at home, not to mention the litany of other players who have told him to go fuck himself. I don't care how good any of these guys think they are, they're not good, or how little they think Kuester knows about basketball, probably more than most of them, bottom line is he's your fricken coach and you do what he says as long as he remains your coach. Your seasons a joke but that doesn't give you the right to do whatever the hell you want. You're as responsible for this mess as he is. At this point Joe D needs to step in and tell the players that if they refuse to play then they need to clean out their locker. Simple as that. Cause losing is one thing but becoming a bunch of whining, pussbags and the laughing stock of the NBA is quite another.

Bad Boy John Salley has major beef with that dude who's Married to Larsa Pippen from Real Housewives of Miami

It has been 23 years since the Chicago Bulls and Detroit Pistons first met up in the first of three playoff series' that pitted Isiah Thomas' nasty Bad Boys versus Michael Jordan's group of soon-to-be-champs. Those Bulls, clearly, are still smarting. The team was everyone's choice to replace the Lakers and Celtics at the top of the NBA's heap, but the Pistons had to go and ruin that narrative, winning two championships in 1989 and 1990.

Pippen was particularly candid about the Pistons in an interview from early in March, telling the Chicago Sun-Times this:

"The Pistons were a nasty team. You always had to expect them to play dirty because, remember, they were the Bad Boys of Motown. They'd go out of their way to be mean and try to hurt you. And because we had better athletes, coach Chuck Daly just let them play the way they had to play to win. Bill Laimbeer was no real athlete. The same for Rick Mahorn and Joe Dumars and James Edwards. We were faster, quicker, more competitive and smarter."

Interviewed over the weekend, former Piston John Salley, wanted no such part of that noise:

"They were more athletic -- and they were younger," Salley said. "But obviously not smarter because we're not talking about him 22 years later. He's talking about us. Guys who said we played dirty couldn't have played in the '80s and the '70s. I watched those games in the '80s and '70s, and it's how I learned to play that hard. You fouled a guy who needs to be fouled. If he's going to the basket, you don't give a knick-knack foul and then argue with the ref. You foul him so he knows, so the next guy coming behind him knows, so his team knows you can't go in the lane. We beat them psychologically, and obviously it's still working."

Chalk up another 20 year old rivalry for the state of Michigan. First Jalen Rose became a statewide hero when he called former Dukie Grant Hill an Uncle Tom and created a media frenzy, which in turn essentially swept his DUI from 3 days prior under the rug. But not to be outdone, Piston legend John Salley got into the old man squabbling game when he caught wind of Scottie Pippen running his mouth about how his Bulls were only beat by the Bad Boys because Chuck Daily allowed his slower and dumber goons to attack the more superior Bulls. But just like Jalen, when it's all said and done, John knows that you don't have to win the most to be the one people remember. I mean we're basically talking Tin Cup 101 right? It's like, "5 years from now no one will remember who won the open but they'll remember your twelve Roy". Alright I'm off on a bit of a tangent. Anyway, Infamy makes you live longer. Belee dat.

PS - Now let's all stare at Scottie Pippen's wife.

Nice Dunk Stuckey. Oh that reminds me, there's still a basketball team in Detroit

You know what the saddest part about the whole fall of the Pistons' empire has been? It's that George Blaha has had to go down with the ship. He's about as good as NBA announcers get but it's been so long since I've even watched a Stones game that I almost forgot he existed. Guy is an absolute legend, no way he should have to be subjected to this crap.

PS - Bosh is the softest mf'er in the league. You can't let Rodney Stuckey do that to you.

I'd trade this year's Pistons for the 2000 version that had Jerry Stackhouse throwing up more shots than BMOC in a Skeeps bathroom

Where do you start with these clowns? First they fuckin stole my boycotting work on Friday idea and now they're quite literally laughing straight in Kuester's face. Or I guess it was to his back cause he was on the way to the locker room after getting booted in the second quarter but that's neither here nor there.



Like I get why they're laughing. When you hate your coach and he's running around on the court calling people assholes I understand that it's hard to look at Ben Wallace and keep a straight face. Christ, any time I look at that goon I immediately picture him playing with remote control cars and I bust out laughing uncontrollably.


But for a team that was built on "Going to Work" the effort that this year's Pistons are putting out there is inexcusable. There are a lot of bad teams in the NBA and in general I think the entire league is a bad product. What's the point of having an 82 game season if you a have a league wide mantra of "we'll play hard in the playoffs". Give me a fuckin break, you're playing basketball. Shit is about as grueling as a game of racquetball. The NHL doesn't have this problem because guys know that if they take a play off they're gonna get train track'd into tomorrow. Guys in the NFL don't dare take a play off for the same reason and also because the 16 game schedule means every snap is important. But the NBA is a league of prima donnas with guaranteed contracts who'd never in a million years go hard if there wasn't this constant media suckfest over who's the best individual player. Rarely, if ever, do you hear people talk about NBA success in terms of "the team" but rather the player who carried the team. You'd think that Tayshaun, Rip, and Ben would understand better than anyone what can be accomplished if players stand together and work hard. I never imagined it could get this bad and I've lost respect for them that I never imagined was possible.

Chauncey's Still Got It

Let me just say that there's no realistic argument to be made that Chauncey is a better player than Carmelo but from the second this deal was done I've said that Chauncey might be the bigger acquisition. Sure Melo is gonna be the one counted on, along with Amare, to put up major numbers night in and night out, but without the poise and leadership of Chauncey it would all be for not. Controlling a game is what he does, and whether or not the Knicks need to score 120 to win one night or slow things down and put up 85 to beat the Heat the next, it's ultimately Chauncey who is behind the wheel controlling the pace and there aren't many better at it in the NBA.

Christ in less than a week the guy is already winning the hearts of New Yorkers with his deep range, clutch free throw shooting, and Mr. Big Shot tendencies. Bottom line is that Chauncey knows how to win a championship, and if the Knicks are willing to follow him they'll have a legit shot to win at least one playoff series this year and many more down the road.

I'll tell you what Knick fans, you got a steal with this guy and you're gonna fuckin love him. Mark my words.

Breaking News! Chauncey Billups traded to the Knicks along with some other dude who was drafted after Darko

Sidenote, Birdman was not included in the deal.

Lebron Can't Take the Heat in Detroit

Where the fuck do you think you are Lebron? You gotta understand that this dude chirping you isn't Spike Lee looking for some playful back and forth banter or Jack Nicholson raising his eyebrow cause he dislikes a call. No, this guy is an unemployed auto worker who's only in the lower bowl cause it's Jonas Jerebko bobblehead night and they can't give away tickets. Dude is on fricken tilt not knowing where his next mortgage payment is coming from and you wanna reason with him cause it really hurt your feelings he asked if your mom would be down to get DP'd by him and Delonte West? Here's the deal Lebron. Here in the D where people work hard for what little money they have, there ain't no sympathy for a self righteous bazillionaire just cause his mom loves the cock. You want pity go back to fuckin South Beach, cause honestly you're lucky you didn't get a cup of ice off the face and a few punches to the back of the head. Pretty much standard procedure for visiting douche bags in Detroit.

Pistons Will Put Rodman's #10 in the Rafters

AUBURN HILLS, Mich. (AP) -- The Detroit Pistons plan to retire Dennis Rodman's No. 10 during a halftime ceremony in April. The eccentric rebounding specialist helped the Pistons win NBA titles in 1989 and 1990. He'll be honored April 1 when the Pistons host the Chicago Bulls, a team Rodman won three championships with from 1996-98. Detroit rookie Greg Monroe currently wears No. 10 and will be allowed to keep it. Rodman averaged 8.8 points and 11.5 rebounds in 549 games as a Piston. He was the league's defensive player of the year in 1990 and 1991.

As a real young kid I remember watching Rodman and loving him because of his intensity and energy. But once he left the Stones I never really had any undying loyalty to him. It wasn't a jealously thing, I just always saw his antics and constant hair dying as something that overwhelmed what he did on the court. He was an incredible talent for the Pistons and a handful of other teams but his inner demons always seemed to control his decision making process. I would've honestly loved to see what a non dress wearing, tattooless Rodman could've done in Detroit for an entire career. But that just wasn't Dennis. Regardless, he deserves his numbers in the rafters of Auburn Hills.

The Jonas Jerebko Media Machine is a Monster

American Made Episode #1 from Nike Sportswear Sweden on Vimeo.

Freep - Injured Pistons forward Jonas Jerebko is being profiled in “American Made,” a four-part Internet documentary by Nike. The first part, mostly an interview with Jerebko’s father, Chris, in his hometown, is posted at vimeo.com/nikesportswearsweden, with new episodes coming weekly. The host is Adam Tensta, identified as a Swedish urban music artist, who’s headed for Detroit at the end of Part 1. Future episodes are supposed to feature Henrik Zetterberg and Nicklas Lidstrom.

What's up with this onslaught of media coverage for Jonas Jerebko? Like why all of a sudden are people all over his jock? There's zero percent chance that anyone outside of Detroit knows who he is but for some reason the Stones are throwing meet Jonas Jerebko nights and hyping him up like he's the greatest Swedish born basketball player since, well Jonas Jerebko.

PS - Who is this rapper interviewing Jonas' dad? Guy's aloofness is daunting. He's like a combo of Dhani Jones and Mos Def. Act like you give a shit dude.

PSS - How does he know Swedish?

Simply a can't miss night at the Palace

The Pistons are hosting the first ever Social Media Night at The Palace when they face the Charlotte Bobcats on Wednesday, February 2 at 7:30 p.m. Fans that purchase tickets on Facebook or Twitter will have access to three exclusive ticket offers for the game on February 2. Select packages include a social media t-shirt and meet & greet with Jonas Jerebko before the game.

Better get there early folks cause I'm anticipating a straight zoo at the Palace tonight. It's a tough enough ticket to get with the Cats in town and now you gotta factor in Social Media Night and a Jonas Jerebko meet and greet? Shit, better luck getting Super Bowl tickets.

Darko Is A Scoring Juggernaut

Dude is so damn good he can't help scoring any time he touches the ball.

Rip Responds to the "He Quit" Comments

Guard Richard Hamilton, a mainstay during the Pistons' run of six consecutive conference finals appearances, is upset with his role on the team and has become a distraction, team sources said. Hamilton's non-participation in Saturday's practice, along with his upset stomach that caused him to miss Sunday's game and complaints about his diminished role have led some in the organization to wonder if Hamilton has quit on the Pistons. "He quit on us," one team source said. Another team source said Hamilton is acting out of emotion and should adjust. On Sunday, just before a game against the New Orleans Hornets, Hamilton, who was replaced in the starting lineup over the weekend by Ben Gordon, told the team he had an upset stomach and could not play. After the game, a number of people associated with the team questioned his "upset stomach."

"If I need to have a long talk with him, I will," Dumars said Monday on WDFN. "I'll see how Rip is doing tomorrow when he gets in here. Rip's been good for me." Hamilton is averaging 26.4 minutes and 13.6 points, but at times has appeared disinterested on the court.

I like and respect Rip a lot. He was the spark plug of the '04 championship team and has forever earned respect in my mind with the way he went about his business on a daily basis. Still, it's evident to everyone that the trade rumors over the last two years have taken their toll and he's looked like a lost puppy ever since the trade of Chauncey Billups. If Joe D could trade him now, I imagine he would, but with the team up for sale all bets are off. So at this point we're still stuck with players who know they're gone eventually and a team that doesn't have the right guys at the right spots. I don't blame Rip for that but what I do expect is that a guy making 12 million plus will play hard. As long as he does that I won't have a problem with him until he eventually gets traded.

PS - the conversation between Joe D and Rip probably went something like this...

Joe D - "I understand your frustration but we need you to play hard regardless of your situation."

Rip - "I will."

Joe D - "You better cause if you don't nobody will want you."

Rip - "Yes sirrrrrrr!"

The State of Michigan is Bad at Math

Guinness World Records has certified the crowd for the Michigan vs. Michigan State game at Michigan Stadium at 85,451 people, far short of the announced attendance of 113,411. It still was enough to beat the previous attendance mark of 77,803, set during the opening game of the IIHF world championships in May, when Germany hosted the United States.

Math is for fuckin nerds. It's just not our thing here in Michigan. We're about muscle cars, great lakes, and going 0-16. See no math necessary with that one. But even with our lack of numerical prowess, I still can't believe people are giving the Big Chill a free pass after being 28,000 off on their attendance number. I know that UofM takes into consideration all the concession workers, ticket takers, and media folk in their attendance number but there is no chance there was 1 worker for every 3 people in attendance. Sometime during the first period while I was still semi sober they cut to a shot from the student section at the top of the bowl. There were what seemed like 20 empty rows of seats. It's not the first time I've seen the Big House sorta empty and still heard a PSA stating that 112,000 were in attendance. Kinda sketchy if you ask me.

Even worse was The Palace of Auburn Hills claiming that this crowd was 12,000 plus against the Hawks. Maybe 5,000 people were there max. I suck at math and the Lady Friend is a math teacher but I can still smoke her in a times tables test. Time for the State of Michigan to get their shit together.

Who's Really To Blame For The Pistons' Demise?

Holy balls it's been rough sledding thus far for the Pistons, and by rough sledding I mean they've smacked head on into a tree and are in the process of bleeding out while they wait for help that may never come. After dropping another game to the Hornets last night, the Stones have lost 8 of 10 and fell to 7-16 overall and I still honestly believe they're somehow worse than their record indicates. Watching them play on a nightly basis is almost nauseating. But who's to blame?

I blame the players for having no heart and quitting 23 games into the season. I blame Kuester for not being able to rally the troops and win games in a league where half the teams don't give a shit on a nightly basis. But mostly I blame Joe Dumars for compiling a team that is as soft as a tickle from Millen's mustache and as untalented as they are disinterested in winning.


Stockpiling several mediocre players at a select few positions has ultimately been the Piston's demise and Dumars was at the helm. Sure John Kuester is the coach and the one in the locker room. He's the one calling plays and making game time decisions, but how in your right mind can you blame him? What do you expect him to do with this flaming pile? The Pistons' front court might be the worst in the league and between Greg Monroe, Charlie V, Ben Wallace, Jason Maxiel, Austin Daye, and Jason Wilcox there isn't a player who would start on a playoff team in the entire bunch. Dumars has brought in the wrong guys at the wrong positions since trading chauncey and the team is still reeling. Most notably...


Austin Daye is Tayshaun Prince without the ring. We barely have use for one of them let alone two, wasted draft pick.

Stuckey is a true 2 guard who can't score when he plays the 1. Bringing in Gordon to play the 2 when you already have Rip makes zero sense. Now we got a log jam and we're stuck with Stuckey playing the point. Dude is mediocre at best.

Ben Wallace was done in this league the day we let the Bulls sign him and bringing him back afterwards hasn't boosted the defense or provided leadership of any sort. I kinda thought Ben would have more heart than this and not let the defensive effort get this bad.

Gordon is the only one on this team that can score whenever he decides to but not starting him over Hamilton and Stuckey is a crime. You can't justify his signing without trading Rip.

Basically the players have packed it in, the coach has no hand, and Joe D seems content to hang tight till he gets fired. Does that about sum it up? I'm completely checked out on the Stones already. Comment if you feel otherwise and I look forward to hearing from none of you.

And if anyone gives me shit about jumping off the ship I say to you, enjoy watching this abortion of a team. I'll be back when we fire Joe D and Illitch takes over.