When did "The Most Interesting Man in the World" get a gig with the Eagles?

When in Rome they do as he does. To bad he's in Phili where they blow 20 point leads.

New slogan... "I don't normally blow 20 point leads, but when I do, I prefer it's against the Lions."

Like I've Always Said, "Speed Kills"

The NFL lost one of it's most legendary personalities today when Al Davis died at the age of 82. He will surely be missed but anyone who's ever played Madden had to see this coming. Speed kills and we all know it. It's like how you wanna feel bad for smokers when they die of lung cancer but you just can't cause they knew the risks and did it anyway. His draft picks were the equivalent of smoking 3 packs a day.

DeMarcus Van Dyke (CB) - 4.28

Chimdi Chekwa (CB) - 4.38

Denarius Moore (WR) - 4.43

Jacoby Ford (WR) - 4.28

Darrius Heyward-Bey (WR) - 4.3

Louis Murphy (WR) - 4.32

Darren McFadden (RB) - 4.33

Arman Shields (WR) - 4.44

Tyvon Branch (CB) - 4.31

Johnnie Lee Higgins (WR) - 4.48


And that's just the last 5 years.

Worst T-Shirt of All Time

This guy probably doesn't really want my advice considering I got murdered in the t-shirt game (email lamborghiniliving@gmail.com to buy your Jim Joyce shirts now!) but I think this should've read...

"Lebron ain't no king cause Kobe got away with that rape thing."

The Party Pool at Chase Field is Absolutely the Only Reason to Attend a Home Run Derby

Easily the worst sports day of the year. I mean the dog days of summer are rough enough without having to listen to Chris Berman come up with 600 adjectives to describe how some roided up monster launched, jacked, hammered, roped, destroyed, tattooed, crushed, skyed, murdered, smashed, or donkey kong'd a ball into the upper deck.

Yup, only way they'll ever get me to attend a second of All-Star weekend is if my ticket comes with a snorkel and a margarita.

PS - No idea who won cause I started watching The River Wild after Big Papi blamed his music for not being able to hit.

Rainn Wilson Feels the Wrath of Detroit After Twitter Remarks

(WXYZ) - Actor Rainn Wilson has touched off a minor firestorm on Twitter over a tweet he posted on the reaction of some Vancouver Canucks fans to their team's loss in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. The loss touched off riots in the Canadian city, with 150 people needing treatment at the hospital and another 100 being arrested.

In response to the riots, Wilson posted "Vancouver is now the Detroit of Canada." on his Twitter account .

The response to that tweet was such that Wilson felt the need to respond to it two hours later with "Wow, I pissed off a lot of Vancouverites and Detroit folk. In penance I'm going to tip over my Prius and set fire to it." Wilson further responded later Thursday with another tweet saying "Man, I have a new-found respect for Detroit after the angry shellacking Ive taken from my crack this AM. U guys sure rally to yr city!"

Vancouver wishes they had 11 cups. Eat a dick Rainn.

John Wall Throws Out First Pitch

Why would you ever agree to do this when you've got an arm like Smalls from the Sandlot? Good thing I'm around to give some advice.

JBS: Man, this is baseball. You gotta stop thinking. Just have fun. I mean, if you were having fun you would've made that throw. You ever have a paper route?

John Wall: I helped a guy once.

JBS: Okay, well chuck it like you throw paper. When your arm gets here, just let go. Just let go, it's that easy.

John Wall: How do I catch it?

JBS: Just stand there and stick your glove out in the air. I'll take care of it.

There we go. Problem solved.

Old Chick Steals Foul Ball from Young Chick

I'm sure most people expect me to rip this Kris Jenner wannabe apart but I'm not gonna. After watching this little girl walk up those steps completely defeated there's just no way I can defend her. You roll over faster than my pit bull Lucy looking for a belly rub and you're destined for one thing in life. Marrying into the Millen family. Good luck with that.

Shane Victorino Needs to Stop Crowding the Plate

This is why I love baseball. If a guy gets a little to close to the plate then you just go ahead and plunk him. Done and done. Pitcher if possible, catcher just as good.

This actually brings me back to when I was in little league and catching for Ansel. We were playing Angeli's and any time they got a guy on second base they'd try and steal third by having the right-handed batter not step out of the batters box and consequentially block the path of my throw to third base. It happened once and I let it go. Then another fuck did it and I started to realize it was intentional. If there was gonna be a third time I decided I was gonna do something about it.

Two innings later they had another guy on second and I got nice and ready for the throw. Right on cue the guy took off and sure as shit the batter didn't move an inch so I wound up and threw a laser as hard as I could right off his temple. Kid hit the deck screaming in pain and I went apeshit on the umpire screaming about batter interference and how the runner should be out. I didn't get the call even though I thought I had a sweet rapport with the umpiring crew. I guess they didn't respected the Tony Pena catching stance I used to go with as much as I thought. Still, it's one of the best decisions I've ever made during a sporting event.



PS - Victorino is lucky he went with that pussy batting helmet with ear protection on both sides.

Canuts Fan Gets Bag-Tagged by Road Flare

Vancouver fans once again decided that if you can't beat 'em, then burn your city to the ground. Reports now coming out indicate that roughly 140 people were injured as Canuck fans took to the streets and burned police cars, destroyed storefronts, and caused massive disruptions after their game 7 loss to the Boston Bruins. As of now only one man has reported having his genitals incinerated off.

Personally, I've never got looting after a defeat. It doesn't make any sense to me. Why would anyone destroy their own shit on purpose? I can maybe see getting behind it if you're the road team in some crappy city like Columbus where you'd basically be doing them a favor, but there's no sense in losing a title and then having to wake up the next morning and flip your car back over so you can get to work. That's fricken senseless.

Kid Buckles Under the Pressure Worse than "Boom Goes the Dynamite"

Yell Joeyblueskies.com or something dude.

DeShawn Stevenson Has A Question for Lebron

Good line. I'm using this the next time Andy Dirks hits a jack. Which may be never.

Milan Lucic Fingers Canucks

Milan Lucic is as entertaining as they come. Hands down my favorite non Red Wing in the league.

Dude Catches Foul Ball in Popcorn Bucket

This post doesn't have anything to do with this guy catching the ball. I couldn't be less impressed. A bajillion fuckin balls get snatched every game and any adult who celebrates one is a clown. I'm so over going after foul balls that if one came towards me down the third base line the only thing I'm gonna do is bicylce kick it back into play so Inge can lay out and catch it. If he doubled up the guy on second I might even make SportsCenter. But popcorn buckets are bushleague. Why would I be impressed by this? It's bigger than a god damn glove! I mean if you want me to string a tarp over my entire section and snag six balls a game I will, just don't expect me to go apeshit when we get one.

No, the real reason I'm writing this is because of the absolutely absurd comment made by the announcer. "Even with his sunglasses on.", really dude? Really? How is it harder to catch something on a sunny day with sunglasses on? You fricken moron. Every single outfielder wears them. I'd rather fire this dude immediately and get Rod Allen's unborn child under contract while letting 18 years of dead air play than allow this for another day.

Great Sign from Tigers/Rangers Series

A great pic from the first game of the Tigers/Rangers series. I'm trying to think of what the adult version would be but I got nothing.

Maybe, Hey Miguel! Hit a homer ---> Bang my wife



Thanks to alwayssunny for the pic

And Today's Starting Lineup

At least half my coaches growing up sounded just like this.

Quinton Rampage Jackson Gives the Best Post Interview Motorboat You'll Ever See

You might wanna watch the whole thing to get a better vibe of just how crazy Rampage actually is, but I'd just ff to the last 30 seconds when he tells the reporter she's making him horny and he tries to motorboat her.

PS - She was eating that shit up with a spoon. 100% got motorboated after the after party.

Fan Gets on the Ice and Starts Throwing

I've gotta ask the obvious question. How did this kid not get absolutely destroyed? I mean have you ever tried standing on an ice rink in shoes? It's f'n impossible. The only way you even have a chance is if you do the coach's shuffle they use to get to and from the bench between periods and even then you'd be lucky to not bust your ass. Add throwing haymakers to the equation and you've got no chance. But somehow this kid tip-toes around the linesman, who sucks at his job btw, and starts landing blows. Totally defied the odds. Oh, and there's a chick out there too? Jeez, flippin bizarro world.

Don't You Ever Tell Me How To Parent My Kids

I'm still a ways off from even entertaining the thought of children but you better believe when I do I'll never let anyone tell me how to parent them, especially some rent a cop at a Dodgers game. If I wanna toss my kid aside for a chance at a souvenir then that's my prerogative. If the second he learns to walk I show him where the beer shelf in the fridge is and he becomes a beer fetching robot then well, good for me. Don't forget the koozie son. Or if I wanna teach him to throw a nasty 12 to 6 bender that no one in little league can touch and he subsequently blows out his rotator cuff before the 5th grade then that's my problem. All I know is there are countless moments throughout each day to be a good dad to your kids, but you only get a real good shot at a foul ball once or twice in your life. You and you alone should be able to make that call.

Hurdler Faceplants 10 Yards from the Finish

Never understood why anyone would wanna run the hurdles. It's like walking the tight rope. Fuck up once and you're toast.

PS - This was the state championship race. Real nice work Flo-Jo.

I'm Legitimately Shocked By How Good The Heat Have Been

I for real, for real don't understand how the Heat have gotten so good. The fact that Lebron has somehow been so prolific is completely shocking to me and just proves that he really is a playoff performer. Yup, still not over him scoring the last 25 for the Cavs as they beat the Stones in double OT during game 5 back in '07. Went for 48 total that day my friends.



Probably the most amazing half hour of sports I ever remember watching, minus the Wings/Avs brawl and the Malace at the Palace of course. But seriously lets get back to the point. The Heat were something like 3 of 19 when faced with a potential tying or go-ahead shot in the last 10 seconds of the 4th quater or OT this year and Lebron could be charged with roughly half of those misses. How do you go from that to hitting every single shot down the stretch when it matters most? Not to mention that when you're guarding Derek Rose he's gone 6.3% shooting for the series. That's bonkers good.

It's too bad too, cause all I wanna do is go LEBRON CRAZY!!! with all the excitement and do something nuts like say he's better than Jordan. But that's not even realistic ya know, cause of the six rings and all.

Oh, wait, fuck, nevermind, I think Scottie Pippen just did it anyway.