What's Up with JP Wearing an Olde English E Hat?

Jeez, I leave for a few weeks and Detroit completely goes to hell. Get it together folks.

It's Follett Friday and JP and the Lady Friend are both in the Greater Denver Area.

Well, it's pretty obvious JP heard I was moving to Denver and she's already started scouting locations to stage our "chance" encounter. She better just be careful cause the Lady Friend is out there on business and ain't afraid to defend her home turf.

Ye,ye, cat fight!

I Can't Decide If This Follett Friday Is Slightly Offensive

I kid, I kid. I love the Asians as I'm sure Follett does too. Except Stan Kwan. I fuckin hate that guy.

This Lockout Blows. But It's Still Follett Friday So Let's Check In and See What Our Favorite Lion Zack Is Up To

It looks like he's about to demolish 3500 calories worth of Super Burrito, that's what it looks like. Jeez, I can't wait till everyone reports to camp weighing 4 bills like Aaron Gibson.

JP Facebooks About Lions Reporting to Camp

Via Facebook
JP--
UHG! Lions please do not make my boyfriend report to camp while I am in California visiting him... This would be devastating.

The Freep reported yesterday that no Lions were spotted at the team's Allen Park facility and that player rep Kyle Vanden Bosch advised teammates to go about their normal workout routine away from team facilities. That coupled with JP's message leads me to believe that I might be the first non Lion or person not boning a Lion to have this scoop. Don't be surprised if you see me getting interviewed by John Clayton tomorrow on ESPN. NBD.

Are Follett and JP Birthers?

Yesterday JP put an article titled, Trump Sends Investigators to Hawaii, Gains in GOP Presidential Primary Poll on her facebook page which spawned the following comments...

JP -
"I don't know how I feel about Trump being our next President, but I definitely am with him on wanting to discover if we have an illegal president in office."

Following that, some rando chicka threw in her shit-for-brains two cents and said, "I say we throw him out without a birth certificate!", JP replied "I'm with you girl!"

Hmmm...please tell me you're fuckin kidding here JP.

After a blast of sanity from some dude who pointed out that if you're born overseas and have at least one parent with US citizenship then you're eligible to run for office, JP took one last shot at trying to come off as not nuts.

JP -
I am with Trump in that I just want to see his birth certificate. He clearly has something to hide. I hope he is truly a US natural born citizen for the sake of our country, but I am not satisfied.

Sane dude then pointed out that McCain was actually born in Panama. Game, set, match. But honestly the real concern is that seemingly normal, Lion dating folks are still hung up on the fact that Obama has a certificate of live birth and not a birth certificate. Who gives a flying fuck? Why people need to cling to some minor Monday morning detail is absurd. Dude was elected to the US Senate without anyone saying anything so why people are getting hung up on this now is ridonk. If you had an issue you should've been up in arms in '97 when he was elected. I'm just saying.

PS - In the spirit of journalistic integrity, which if you haven't figured out by now, I have none, I wanna say that Follett actually had nothing to do with this story. Please don't lump me into the category of Satan and his minions like you did with The Schwartz and Gunther.

T.G.I.Follet.Friday.

I got this email the other day from a guy asking if I could send him any sexy pics of JP that I had laying around. Of course, I respect her privacy too much to go sending her facebook photos out to nonfriends so I told him to shove off. But upon further inspection of the email,

Billy Banks to me
show details Mar 30 (2 days ago)

Love the blog man! Especially JP fridays! Got any sexy pics of her you can send me?

I realized that the guy requesting them was none other than Tae Boe creator Billy Blanks. I know! Holy shit right!? So, of course I composed an apology email and sent him every pic in my collection. I mean if this is the real Billy Blanks, and who am I to believe it's not, then of course JP wants her pictures in his hands. Guy is like a gazillionth degree black belt.

Update - Dude's name is actually Billy Banks. Sooooo, ah, yeah, my B.

Correct Me If I'm Wrong, But Did Follett Just Refer to The Schwartz and Gunther as Satan & his Minions?

ff to 1:08 mark for the rant

We all know Follett is down with JC, no surpise there. And you know what, I'm totally fine with him thumping the Bible as hard as he wants to thump it, but man, I absolutely cringe anytime he mentions the Lions when he's been on the Jesus Juice. You'd just think that after the whole calling Stafford a china doll thing exploded in his face he'd be a bit more careful about when and how he mentions the Lions. I mean the current coaches are the same ones who cut him.

Follett Friday

Facebook - Zack Follett

Detroit.. I'm selling my grill its a Char-boil commercial series.. new $300, selling for 150 o.b.o... had it for less than a yr.. http://www.charbroil.com/ProductInfo/4-32-2025/Commercial-Series-500-4Burner-Gas-Grill.aspx

Damn, the financial ramifications of this lockout are really hitting home. I mean how is it that Ford and the other fat-cat owners are drowning in their Scrooge McDuck money pools while the Pain Train is selling his shit on facebook at 50% off?

Whatever, let's get down to business. I need to own this right? Follett, throw in a piece of gum chewed by JP and you've got yourself a deal.

Follett gets Tendered by the Lions & Cleared to Play by Doctors

Great news for the Pain Train and JBS couldn't be happier that Follett will be back on the gridiron with the Lions next year. I just hope the injury doesn't force him to be hesitant because he gives the Lions much needed depth at linebacker. Even with Zack back, the Lions still need to address linebacker either in free agency or in the first or second round of the draft. Just don't bring Ernie Sims back.

PS - I hope the doctors didn't forget to check Zack's cholesterol. Jesus, big guy. Easy on the chili cheesedog, you got camp in a few months.

Meet Follett's New Dog: Baby Blue Eyes

Hmmm... the name Baby Blue Eyes sounds awfully familiar if you ask me. I can't quite pinpoint exactly what it is but lets just say I think JP has ole Joey Blue Skies on the mind.

Follett Friday: Get A Room Bro

Follett you should leave the wining and dining to me and get back in the gym already. Cause in case you haven't heard, Bobby Carpenter is not a legit option come next year.

I'm Pretty Sure Follett Is Doing My Material

Long before Chinadollgate broke I actually referred to Stafford as a piece of glass in a Mid-Morning Wood post featuring his girlfriend. Follett, who no doubt read my post, must've then internalized it without even really knowing. Then a few weeks later he's on an interview for ESPN and out it slips. I mean I ain't mad at him. I know he didn't knowingly gank my material cause in actuality I've been putting subliminal messages in my posts for weeks. They usually go something like this...Joeyblueskies is the kind of boy every girl dreams of. Great looking, smart, and funny - yes, that's Joeyblueskies. Joeyblueskies is a blond Tom Cruise. Joeyblueskies is a ten. Zack Morris, I mean Joeyblueskies is perfect in every way.

Now that that's outta the way, let's take a look back at the post that started the whole Chinadollgate scandal...

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Mid-Afternoon Wood with Stafford's GF
January 3, 2011


She's the dick seeking missile on the left. If you don't believe me here's a picture my buddy took when he was all up in her box at Ford Field. Hope all the pervs out there liked that last line. Sidenote, I have no idea who the two Bieber twins are.


PS - How fuckin ironic is this sign? Dude is made of glass.
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Booooom!!! You saw what I did there right? Stafford brakes to pieces every time he hits the ground so I compared him to glass which also breaks to pieces every time it hits the ground! Mother F'n brilliant, I know. You wanna know how I know? Cause I'm the one who made it up.

TGI Follett Friday

Heading out to happy hour at Abilene but before I do I wanted to wish everyone a happy Follett Friday. As hot as JP is I gotta say she keeps good company. She doesn't even have that one obligatory fat friend tagging along. In fact that tall blond in the middle might be the hottest chick I've ever seen. JP, I need her name ASAP. Never mind, just facebook stalked her. It's Alexandria and she goes to Ohio State. Scratch that.

Follett Can't Keep his Name Outta the Papers

It's been nonstop Follett news coming outta the D lately so of course we need him to weigh in on the Cutler situation in Chicago too. Not sure what his comment actually was but it got him on the list of guys drinking that Hatorade. But hey, anytime a 7th round pick can get his name on a list with the likes of Maurice Jones-Drew, T.O., Phillip Rivers, Jeremy Roenick, and Deion Sanders I think he's doing alright for himself.

Is this what Follett meant when he called Stafford a Chyna Doll?

Cause if he did then I'd consider it a compliment. Look at those forearms.

Follett suits up in the armor of God to fight Tom "Killer" Kowalski

Zack Follett - Response to my comments made from zack follett on Vimeo.

Zack, baby, chill. Let the haters hate man, cause in reality nobody gives a shit about what Killer Kowalski is tweeting. The dude is the softest insider in the business and hasn't asked a tough question of a Lions coach ever. He fricken gave Rod Marinelli a free pass on 0-16 cause he thought his shovel was sharp. I mean shit, you slipped up and used the wrong choice of words. No one is dumb enough to go out and say that shit if they actually mean it. That's retarded. So him implying that you think you're too fuckin cool for school or somehow better than Stafford is ridiculous. Anyone who's got their panties in a bunch over this needs to get ass pounded by Satan. Or by God, or whatever Follett is saying here, I didn't really get the whole God analogy. Either way bro just pop one of those painkillers you got when you blew up your neck and do some rehabbing with JP in the recliner. And truth fuckin be told, even though you didn't mean it, what you said about Stafford is the truth. If you don't think so you can't see the forest for the trees. I'd put even money right now on you having a longer career than him.

Oh, and screw those assholes over at ESPN and just give me the interview next time. I would've woven this whole china doll thing into some type of geisha advertising campaign. You'd be huge in Asia.

Follett Calls Stafford a China Doll

Freep - Asked what he thinks of Stafford in an interview on ESPN Radio (1430 AM) in Fresno, Calif., linebacker Zack Follett said the Detroit Lions' starting quarterback is “a china doll right now.”

“Stafford, good guy,” Follett said. “He’s a china doll right now. Anytime he gets hit, he goes down. But the kid is -- hopefully, it’s just patiently waiting for him, because the kid is an awesome talent. He has a tremendous arm. The throws that he makes during practice when no one can touch him, he looks like an All-American quarterback, but put him in a game, and you hit his shoulder. So hopefully, say a couple prayers, keep him healthy next year, and the Lions can do some damage in the NFC."

I'm kinda pissed. I seriously can't believe Follett didn't give me this story. Would've broke the shit out of this and put JBS on the map. ESPN probably would've even picked up my "Follett looks like Jim from American Pie" story. But nope, I'm still stuck here making wise cracks about little kids getting hit in the face.

PS - About the comment, not sure if a dude with a broken neck should be calling anyone a china doll, but you know what? I kinda see the resemblance.

Is Follett Jewish?

Dude's rockin the Jim look real hard and I'm not talking that pussy from The Office that every chick's in love with. Nope, talking about the Jim that fucks pies.

Did I Just Get Bob Sugar'd ?

BroBible.com - Meet Julianne, a Girl to Bring Home to Mom Who’s Also a Pro WAG

Oh hey BroBible, great call featuring JP this week. I wonder where the hell you ever got that idea? I mean it's not like anyone has been doing a little segment called JP Fridays or anything. Jesus, I feel like Jerry Maguire and Bob Sugar just stole Cush out from underneath me the day before the draft while I was in the lobby with the black fella. Totallyfuckinbelievable.



But whatever, it's all good, enjoy the sloppy seconds, or thirds if you count Barstool making her a smokeshow. At least Barstool is fuckin funny and doesn't have to steal talent cause they're too busy Icing each other. Whatever, I can't worry about this anymore, I got a cock fight to think about.