Does this Two in the Pink, One in the Stink Sticker get this Dude any Ass?

Dudes who love the shocker are awesome at life. It's basically a fact. They're seriously probably in the 95th percentile in almost everything they do. Like I remember this kid I played hockey with when I was 12. The dude was all about the shocker. Flashing it to girls at dances, in the pool at the hotel, and was even on the front page of the paper doing it after we won a tournament. He was absolutely reckless with it. Of course he eventually went to play hockey for the Badgers, could bang any Morning Wood he wanted, and somehow got the sweet ass nickname, Smokin Joe. It's hard to discern whether or not his success came from doing the shocker or whether or not the he liked the shocker because he was successful. But either way one thing is certain. Guys who love the shocker are always gonna be knuckle deep in pussy and ass.

Does This Pit Bull Tattoo Get Him Ass?

The answer to this is no. Chicks love dogs and chicks love tats but chicks don't like tats of dogs. I've actually thought about tatting my pit bull Lucy on my body once she eventually kicks the bucket but then I realized that I'd just have this reminder of all the times I picked up her shit and bought new shoes after she ate mine. No chick wants to think about that. They want to play with a puppy and that's about it. So I think my new gameplan is to just get a new puppy every two months and once that thing starts getting too big you just sell it on Craigslist and get a new one. That way you stay ahead of the curve. So no tats of dogs. Unless it's Lassie. That would be badass.


PS - Did anyone else notice that this picture is basically an A.O.L too? Amazing photography. Ass gets a 6.5 but doubling up on a "does this get him ass" and an "A.O.L." gets you a 10.0 in the photography department.