Is Bmase a Pussy for Shaving his Beard?

From the JBS.com comment section on Facebook in reference to me getting mistaken for Zach Galifianakis because of my beard...

"I had to get rid of the beard, i got brian wilson about 7 times within a two day period. its borderline racist."

I wonder if they meant this Brian Wilson...


or this Brian Wilson?

Has Bmase Ever Watched a Wings Game?

Now I'm obviously not a stickler on grammar but I just got an email from Bmase about 10 minutes ago as I was writing the Kid Rock post that said...

"kid rock, lindstram, and cheli paddling around? U gotta write about that."

What was that Bmase? Did I catch a Lindstram in there? Now it's one thing to get busted on the common mispronunciation of Linstrom if you're not a Wings fan, but this is borderline sacrilege. Guy has been a Wing for half his life and has been our best defenseman for every single game you ever remember watching in your lifetime and you come at me with Lindstram? Unforgivable.

Atlanta living son of a bitch probably thinks this is the Red Wings logo.

Bmase IS Millen. Millen IS Bmase

Millen on Pryor's NFL future...

“Well, there’ll certainly be interest …” Millen said. “He’s gotten better each successive year. But he’s far from a complete package, so he’s got some work to do. If he would file for the supplemental draft, you would look at him probably from (Round) 4 on, but all it takes is one team to fall in love with him.”

Bmase in the JBS comment section on Pryor's NFL future...

I'd use a 4th on him in the supplemental draft

Who knew Bmase's football mind was on par with Millen?

BMOC's "the save" Moves Another Rung Down the Ladder After Tim Thomas Denies Downie

If this keeps up, BMOC's "the save" will be completely phased out in another year or two. It's about time too. I mean you don't still hear Cecil going around talking about how he hit 51 home runs once. Time to move aside BMOC. You're old news.

Is BMase The Saver?

This might only be funny to me but when I think of BMase at work this is what I picture. Just cocky as shit, walking around with his headset hanging from his neck talking about how many ads he sold. Simoleans!

The Legend Lives On

A powerful storm that is raking high winds, severe t-storms, and, yes, even wet snow in parts of the Midwest and South is headed towards Chicago. Meteorologists know this will be intense due to expected lowest central pressure of the low in western Ontario bottoming out in the neighborhood of 955-960 mb. This is a storm stronger than the infamous "Edmund Fitzgerald" storm in Nov. 1975 and an even stronger version almost exactly 23 years after that in Nov. 1998.

I've been playing this non stop since I heard this news. I hope this storms takes BMOC with it so we can hear that church bell chime one more time.

Bmase, Stella, What Do You Say?

I will pay for this to happen as long as I get to pick the food and it gets taped. Those are my only stipulations. Oh, and e$ has to go one round as well. I also guarantee that one of the courses will be delicious, McChickens probably, and another will be absolutely disgusting, haven't decided what yet. What do you say Bmase, Stella?

East Lansing, Welcome to BMOC

This is right up there with Iron Mikes return to the ring, Mason Betha's resurrection in the rap game, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus getting back on primetime tv. After 2 years away, BMOC will make his long awaited return to East Lansing this weekend. I know what your thinking, won't you just throw up all over and wander the streets aimlessly? Fuck no! I've become an even lighter weight since my departure, and I think jail time is not out of the realm of possibilities this weekend. The last two Saturday's I've gotten black out drunk by the end of regulation, and I was at an empty bar both times. Just crushing steveweiser after steveweiser talking to Eileen til I couldn't see anymore.

This may be too late to organize, but I want to have a Joeyblueskies Beerdie Tournament. Does anybody live in East Lansing or know someone who still does that has a yard and will house some vomit and beer? I say lets get a couple of kegs, listen to "da band", and throw some die. Maybe I can get Mmase to give a couple of hats to winner if we can get so many people. A big check would be amazing. Cantor, Motay, Abel, Hofer, and everybody else out there, let me know your thoughts.

Later this week.....My prediction for the game, a look back at "the rant", and where I haven't puked in East Lansing.

Work Is Starting To Piss Me Off

While Mmase gets to play kick ball all day and listen to hilarious shit kids have to say, I get to pound out 150 calls and get told to fuck off by chicks. By chicks damnit! As it turns out, I'm pretty good at pretending to do my job, and have become a somewhat manager. Anygay, check out this boom-roasted email I got from my boss yesterday.

If I walk by and see people either on fantasy baseball sites, facebook, looking up entertainment news/gossip, etc, I am going to start terminating individuals. I’ve had it, and enough is enough. This is a direct violation of the employment contract with regard to the use of company computers, and not a single person back there is working to their highest levels.

If it happens again, we’re going back to 1 computer per team. If this is not acceptable for you, I completely understand and will graciously accept your resignation. I will then go out and find people who are actually willing to do the phone work. I am not against e-mails and e-mail campaigns/marketing (in fact, it is an excellent tool that each of you knows how to utilize quite well). However, it is a single tool that we use, not the basis for this job.

My frustration lies in the fact that there are so many talented individuals back there that are not willing or motivated to reach their potential (specifically you three). That starts from zero motivation from John (and by motivation, I mean leading by example, not just empty e-mails with transparent threats), and works down to Brian (buddy-buddy with staff instead of being a strong manager) and Sarah (refusing to pick up the phone, always someone else’s fault), and then ultimately to your staff. If employees like Andre, Ben & Barb (just examples), who can be motivated and driven to succeed, even had a sniff of guidance, their production (and your overrides) would go through the roof.

I’m sorry if this seems curt, but right now honesty is what is necessary, and honestly not a single ACI manager has the gumption to actually get their teams focused, and at this point I’ve had enough. I’ve heard too much “David and Terry are mean and they want our call numbers higher” or “hey, Terry just sent me an email saying we better stay off of these websites and get back to work” instead of rather: “hey guys, let’s really push this morning and get some contracts brewing” or “Andre, you need to get back to work, as we are falling behind this month and we, as a team, really need to take it to the next level.”

Get yourselves and your staff focused – I can promise you that your productivity and income will increase if you do. I can also promise that there will be changes if you do not.

-TD


PS - I like to consider myself a friend first, boss second.....entertainer third. Also, please use words I understand when ripping me a new asshole. "Curt" and "gumption", what the fuck. Had to pull out the thesaurus on that one.

My Dog Is Way Cooler Than Your Dog

Figured I need to get my dog prepared if I ever make the move to Detroit. Rule number one, I'm number one. Rule number two, when you hear gun shots, get your ass to the ground. Think she's got that one figured out. Now if I could only teach her not to piss herself whenever someone pets her....Yo Mmase, does lucy do anything other than hide in the corner and make shitty gambling picks?

Let's take it to a vote, is Stella a true HBIC, or do I have too much time on my hands?

Overt Bearage Getting You Through Memorial Day Weekend

I wish I grew up in the movie "Country Bears" and my parents would've adopted this bear instead of having Bmase. Cause this kung fu bear gets laid a lot more than Bmase and his devil sticks routine ever did.

PS - Bmase can't sing like this...



PSS - Yo hablo espanol for my friends of Brock Martinez

Is My Girlfriend Shaking Her Ass Cool?

So I was down in the dumps today. I paid for my first haircut in nearly 6 years and it cost $42 bucks (parking ticket included). I was all fired up and pissed at the gf for everyday issues, and she reaches into her bag of forgiveness and straight kills it. I get an email with a link to a video that will for surely put a smile on my face. It's a clip from 2006 of her and her sister shaking their ass over christmas break. While comical, I'm still pretty proud, and convinced her to give it 24 hours on jbs.com. She claims she put it on youtube and got 4000 views back then, and then buried the youtube link in the backyard. Well my shovel is sharp, and I dug that shit up, and we got 24 hours to spread this like wild fire.

P.S. - My girlfriend is the redhead. Please watch her ass all day, and be jealous it's mine.

Welcome to my Life - BMOC style

To blog like a champion, you must fuel like a champion. What the hell are you doing?

PS - you gotta drink these hurricanes in like 90 seconds ice cold, or they taste like piss.

JBS.com Hats Are Dope As Shit

Man, life can be pretty cool sometimes. Just opened a package from Bmase and out pops these bad boys. Fuckin dope. Bmase has somehow went from regifting troll dolls outta his closet every Christmas to getting custom made gifts that blow the roof off the place. You even spelled everything correctly. How the hell did you pull this off?

Is Bmase Bernie Parent's Long Lost Son?

I got an email from Kark last night asking if old school Flyers tender Bernie Parent reminded me of a certain M&M Thunder goaltender and once I realized he wasn't talking about Sue Doepke, it dawned on me. Bernie IS Bmase, Bmase IS Bernie. Dudes are clones of each other and it's definitely no coincidence that they both play between the pipes either. Now I just gotta figure out how to tell my Dad that Mom had an affair with Bernie Parent without him losing his shit.

Vote 10 for Bmase is the love child of Bernie Parent or 1 for mustached goalies are a dime a dozen