The Tigers scored 5 runs in the first three innings yesterday. Great. After scoring 2 in the 1st, the Tigers scored their 1st second inning run of the season. Great. Two more in the 3rd. Awesome. Then it was white knuckle all the way. Let's stop being polite and start getting real for a minute here. Verlander, you're fucking killing me. 125 pitches in 5 innings yesterday? No tiger has thrown that many pitches in 5 innings or less since 1991 and he's the first Major League pitcher to do that and get a win out of it since Cal Eldred did it for Milwaukee against Detroit in 1997. 86 pitches in 3 innings? 36 in the first? What the fuck? Here's what I picture: Verlander, being a major league pitcher and thus having no responsibility on days he doesn't take the mound, went hard two nights ago, I mean like "bachelor-party-in-Vegas-stealing-Mike Tyson's-tiger-and-marrying-a-stripper-hard." He wakes up, like 10 minutes before the game starts, runs out to his car while putting on his uniform, drives to the stadium, jumps out and leaves that shit running, runs into the ballpark and out to the mound just in time to throw out the first pitch. Then gets killed. Like he has the past three starts. Dude needs to stop hanging out with people like Tiger Woods and Gerald Laird, who only care about drinking and pussy, and get his head back in the game."The man's a tomcat."-Jim Leyland (fake quote of course)
On a side note, Carlos Guillen's balsa wood body gave out on him again. After going 2-3 and knocking in 2 RBIs, dude collapsed with a pulled hammie while rounding 3rd. He's been placed on the 15-day DL. Straight sad yo.
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