A.O.L. is Back with a New Formula and a Puffy Shirt

Oh, glory to God in the highest! Hallelujah! The hot weather is back and that means so are the asses on location.


I snagged this one the other day on accident as I was just really trying to get a shot of this awesome Seinfeld puffy shirt I saw on the subway. Not my fault she just so happened to have a well manicured backyard.

Pic Score - 8.2
You gotta give it up for the fact that I got two shots and that I incorporated a classic Seinfeld theme.

Ass Score - NA
I've decided I'm out of the ass scoring business. I mean don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the AOL. It's honestly one of the main things that brings me and the readers together. But I got to a point somewhere around the 4th dozen ass when I basically ran outta words for ass and now I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels. So I've come up with a new formula.

New Formula -
Just like always, you take the AOL's and send them in. This time include either a funny anecdote about the situation or a straight up pic/ass combo score outta 20 like we did in the past. So essentially it's the same formula with just you doing the work.

PS - If I feel like my two cents is needed then I'll chime in. Like for example if someone sent me this puffy shirt AOL I would conclude it with this...

A.O.L. - Last White Pants of the Year

Kiel and I should get hired out as human frames. If you want us to stand on the outskirts of your family Christmas photo shoot me an email. But like I said yesterday, I'm running outta ways to describe ass. So, great legs, great ass, white pants, enough said. Score - 8.5

John Falls nailed this shot. But Kiel and I are the real stars. Score - 9.0

A.O.L. - Legs For Days

This chick was about 6'2" in these hooker boots and bringing it so hard. I was with the Lady Friend and Steve when we came across this heard of hotness and she demanded that I not let this one pass by. That's when I knew she was a keeper.

But back to the backend, despite what you might think, this ass wasn't really that amazing in person. The skirt and boots really did most the work here. Flat asses equal weak scores - 7.0

The pic is decent and as far as I know is the only one ever taken by a photographic couple. Score - 7.5

PS - The A.O.L.'s have all but dried up over here and the weather is getting cold fast. I need to you get out in full force and make it happen so we have a stock pile for the long hard winter. I'm also running outta words to use for ass so if you wanna write your own brief description that'd be greaaaat.

A.O.L. - One Piece Jumpsuit

Can't really tell whether or not these legs thin out or just continue to balloon like spicy pork sausages on a hot griddle. Mmmm, sausage. Either way i'd still take a bite. Score - 5.5

Only way this pic could've been closer was if the photog was riding this chick piggy back. Score - 8.0

A.O.L. - Unintentional Double

This was an accidental double A.O.L. shot by yours truly. Life can be pretty cool sometimes.

The ass in the black dress was pretty banging and besides those linebacker shoulders this chick had it going on. My buddy Dom always says "free hockey" any time a game goes into OT so this "free ass" is for him. Score - 8.5

This pic was taken on a crowded street and I had to shroud it in mystery. Still managed to come out with more ass than I bargained for. I don't wanna toot my own horn, but beep, fuckin beep. Score - 9.0

A.O.L. - Ripped Jeans

Jesus, Mary and Joseph wearing Def Leppard jeans! I can now die a happy man cause this is the mother of all A.O.L.s. Do people actually go out dressed like this? And if so, where? I mean I run my ass all over the biggest city in the US day after day and I've never in my wildest dreams ever come across anything like this. That little bit of butt crack she's showing is lethal. Only thing that would turn me on more is if she had a tramp stamp of the Lions logo. Maybe e$ can photoshop that shit for the next JBS banner.

This ass belongs in an ass museum. It's a fuckin Picasso and just one of the absolute greats that's too sexy to even fuck with. I mean if I ever found myself tangled with this ass I'd have a hard time not exploding into every one of the holes she has in those jeans. Ass Score - 10.0

Bagging monster ass like this is all about opportunity and when you see a 10 point ass walk out in front of you, it's real easy to get ass fever. Keeping a steady aim on this ain't easy. Nice huntin. Pic score - 9.5

A.O.L. - Making Plays

John Falls made a fuckin play on this A.O.L. let me tell you. Dude sprinted about 100 yds down the sidewalk outside of Citi Field to creep on these girls. Probably could've beat Denard in a foot race with motivation like this.

This ass on the left looks like it's about ready to pop and I love it. I'm completely ignoring the non-ass on the left because it's a factor, although you'll definitely get credit in the photography category for doubling them up. Score of the apple bottom on the left is 8.5

The picture is great because of the story behind it. We were at Branson bachelor party trying to get a limo to drive us home after the Mets game when John Falls takes off in a full sprint for no apparent reason. Dude comes back huffing and puffing but was grinning like a proud Labrador Retriever bringing back a dead bird. Score - 9.5

PS - Make plays people, I'm running low.

A.O.L. - Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Ask and you shall receive. This is exactly what I was talking about when I sent out the troops last night. Sometimes people just need a little inspiration and It looks like my pep talk worked. What can I say, I'm a born leader.

This ass is Grade A and I'm a sucker for tight ass stretch pants. Score - 9.0

This pic is a little blurry but when Blueskiers are under immense pressure, quality is bound to drop. But lets factor in that this shot is real close and it looks like this was taken on the pass. Veteran move. Score - 8.5

A.O.L. - M.I.L.F

I've been slackin lately on the A.O.L.s but it's mostly because the Blueskiers are shitting the bed out there. I swear that every other day I get an email about how somebody saw this amazing A.O.L. but didn't have a chance to get a shot. Well you know what? Weak. Get in there and creep for crumps sake. And this isn't all on the male Blueskiers either. You ladies out there probably have twice as many opportunities during all your naked pillow fights and shit, plus you've never had to look like a retard cause you're pretending to go through vegetables while scoping asses at the grocery store. Get on your horse everybody and find me some butts. Better yet get a shot and write your own description cause if it's funny ill post that too.

With that being said, make sure to tell your dick I ain't got much for him. The best I could do was give you this M.I.L.F. ass which is a slap in the face to A.O.Ls everywhere. The only thing holding this thing together is those painted on white pants but this was taken after Labor Day so she shouldn't have been wearing them anyway. Told you bitches I know fashion. Score - 5.0

The photo gets a 10.0 cause I took it and nobody else has sent me shit in weeks. If I don't get anything tomorrow I'm taking a picture of my own ass and putting it up. Nobody wants to see that.

Belarusian Hottie Collapses at the US Open

Huffpost - Victoria Azarenka collapsed and fell to the ground while chasing down a ball on the baseline and had to be taken off the court in a wheelchair Wednesday, 31 minutes into her match on another steamy day at the U.S. Open. The 10th-seeded Belarusian was trailing Gisela Dulko 5-1 in the first set on the Grandstand court. The temperature had reached 90 degrees with 42 percent humidity by 11:30 a.m. On-court temperatures topped 100 degrees.

Is it wrong that I immediately thought A.O.L when I read this headline on huffpost today? I mean it's smut blogging 101 - Injuries put people in compromised positions.

PS - Speaking of injured back ends, lets take a look back at the ass that started it all.

A.O.L. - Double Whammy

I'm not totally sure but judging on how big of a perv the dude who sent me this A.O.L. shot is, I'm guessing he knew what he was doing here. Trust me, double whammys are fuckin tough. It's kind of like the perfect storm, where ass meets opportunity and you just happen to be standing there with a camera.

I'm giving these asses a combined score of 15.5 cause they're both nice but i'm guessing the closer one is nicer than that skirt lets on. The picture is top shelf as well. Score - 8.0

Does This Pit Bull Tattoo Get Him Ass?

The answer to this is no. Chicks love dogs and chicks love tats but chicks don't like tats of dogs. I've actually thought about tatting my pit bull Lucy on my body once she eventually kicks the bucket but then I realized that I'd just have this reminder of all the times I picked up her shit and bought new shoes after she ate mine. No chick wants to think about that. They want to play with a puppy and that's about it. So I think my new gameplan is to just get a new puppy every two months and once that thing starts getting too big you just sell it on Craigslist and get a new one. That way you stay ahead of the curve. So no tats of dogs. Unless it's Lassie. That would be badass.


PS - Did anyone else notice that this picture is basically an A.O.L too? Amazing photography. Ass gets a 6.5 but doubling up on a "does this get him ass" and an "A.O.L." gets you a 10.0 in the photography department.

A.O.L. - Chicks On Bikes

Look at the shoulders on this brute. She could probably beat out Follett for that last linebacking spot. But as you travel south she gets a lot better in a hurry. These legs are killer and jorts are definitely on their way back in, especially ass huggers like these. Also chicks who ride bikes make me man wet. Score - 7.5

The photo is pretty close up and the photographer even got her to do the ass out pose somehow. Pretty solid work if you ask me. Score - 8.0

A.O.L. - Get Outta Her Way She's Late For A Softball Game

This is as close as we've come to a shrapnel ass here at JBS. Shrapnel ass refers to any ass that if it goes off you're liable to get hurt by some collateral damage. Combine that with the underwear lines, and this thing is about as rowdy as they come. Score - 3.5

I like the photo because I've got the Michigan flag along side Old Glory. I just wish this ass did its part and didn't leave me jerking it to a bunch of flags. Score - 6.5

PS - I said flags

A.O.L. - Beanbag Bagwell

I'm knee deep in asses over here and not really sure if I posted this one yet. If I did I apologize, if not perv away. BMOC so foolishly took this pic right in front of his gf and heard a mouthful about it. Gotta have some more savvy BMOC and at least save it for the perfect 10's. Score - 6.5

I usually love a jersey in my A.O.L. shots but Bagwell, really? If Ken Caminiti had a baby with Craig Biggio he would be Jeff Bagwell. Give me a break. Score - 5.0





PS - Anyone who can tell me what sitcom the term "Beanbag Bagwell" came from gets a free t-shirt. BMOC wait at least half a day before ruining this for everyone.

A.O.L. - These Asian Asses Are Way Better Than Asian Carp

There's nothing better than an Asian chick with zero percent body fat, except for two Asian chicks with zero percent body fat. You could play quarters on these asses. They should be charging by the minute to walk behind them cause you usually have to subscribe to something to get a look this good. Score - 9.5

The shot is semi mediocre except for the shadow which may be hotter than the actual shot. Deliver a little more creativity when you're thinking about these A.O.L.s please. Score - 7.0

A.O.L. - Honey Got A Booty Like Pow Pow Pow

Holy balls, look at the back porch on this little house on the prairie chick. No wonder the Amish don't want to mingle with common folk like us. With asses like this in the gene pool I wouldn't be giving away that recipe either. But wait a second, I thought the Amish didn't take the subway? I guess maybe she's a Hasidic Jew, I can never tell them apart from the Amish anyway. But regardless, with an ass like this I'm ready to convert. Score - 8.5

The photo sequence here is great. There was even a fourth shot that I didn't use but will be included in the flip book I'm making of this broad's ass.

A.O.L. - Tony Romo's New Squeeze

After giving J Simpson the morning wood, I figured I had to give Tony his reBUTTal. Blueskier Ken Cole sent me some shots from a celebrity golf tourney a few weeks back and said that this honey was following Tony around all day. If this chick has a brain even half the size of my dog Lucy then I'd say she's a major upgrade. Score - 9.0

The photo is coming correct with the white shorts and the Suzuki jersey in the background. Well done Ken. I might just make him my full time A.O.L. photographer. Score - 9.0

A.O.L. - Gumby

Chicks who can do shit like this make my dick quiver. It's generally why I steer clear of yoga studios. I don't want my junk anywhere near this type of kinetic energy. She's like a coiled spring for fuck's sake. I mean if you're doing the deed back there and her leg slips off that mailbox she'll sever your nuts clear off. The risk just ain't worth the reward. Give me a chick who's naturally skinny and likes to hit the bar over some gym rat any day. Score - 7.0

Excluding the fact that I am terrified of this ass, I'm still pretty high on this A.O.L. because photos like this don't come around every day. You know whoever saw this on the street had to stop and pretend to mess with their phone and snap this shit all on the sly. And craftsmanship like that in Manhattan is hard to come by. Well played sir. Score - 9.5

A.O.L. - Tigers Fan

I don't know this chick one bit but I love her cause I can tell she is a "No Means Yes Girl". And any girl who lives by the code "no means yes & yes means anal" is alright with me. Score - 10.0

Besides a slight deduction because of the blurriness this shot is great. Get up in that shit Eric. Score - 9.0