Does Anybody Have Any Hand Sanitizer?

Huffingtonpost.com - Lindsey Vonn helped open up New Jersey's Red Bull Arena in March. As part of the festivities, she shook hands with several members of the New York Red Bulls. Unfortunately, as SportsByBrooks discovered, it appears one player was busy putting his hand to use in another way just before greeting the Olympic gold medalist.

I read this lead-in and 100% thought #29 was gonna be scratchin his nuts before he shook Lindsey's hand. He's getting all stretched out and needs a last minute pinch and twist before the match gets underway. Just seemed logical. But instead he throws a finger or two up his nose at the 22 second mark and then shakes it out with Lindsey. Big fuckin deal. Guy totally wiped it on his shorts first and everyone knows that means it's clean.

No, the real story here is Lindsey and those black pleather pants that are painted onto that ass. Man, I had to tuck my junk up in my wasteband when I saw her pop outta that car all Dukes of Hazzard style. Boom Boom Pow, Lindsey. Boom Boom Pow indeed.