Maize Rage Might Be the Most Homely Student Section in all of College Basketball

I dare anyone, man or woman, to find a single fuckable person in the entire Maize Rage. Just take a look at this picture, it's like a Where's Waldo book. I mean there's that one bitch in the upper right corner with the low cut shirt who some desperado might put it in after a night at Rick's but I'm guessing she's probably the only person in this entire section that's even had sex before.

Chris Brown Beating Miami Like Rihanna

Since ESPN treats college hockey like the red headed stepchild I thought I'd post this. Probably the filthiest college goal you never would've seen all year. Fuckin love Chris Brown too. Busting out the "Are you not entertained?" move was showtime as shit.

PS - Was gonna tell you to watch this on mute but the dude's commentary might actually be better than the goal. I'm gonna copyright-fuck the shit outta that "move over Mario" line.

Great Minds Think Alike

Talked with BMOC today about his thoughts on rivalry weekend and to my surprise he's not going the Michigan State slappy route and predicting a 55-10 route by MSU. In fact on the count of 3 we both revealed our final score predictions and I had Michigan 31-30 and he had Michigan 29-28. My main thought is that if the game remains low scoring it favors MSU but I just don't think anyone in the nation can contain Denard to one, if not more big plays. Do I think he'll get away with that jump ball bullshit he pulled against ND and have a miraculous comeback? Hell no, but I think he'll get 3/4 yards per run attempt and then bust one, two, or even possibly three big runs that result in Michigan scores. Plus you have to take into account that Smith or Shaw could do the same. I'm also looking forward to seeing Devin Gardner under center and a few tricky plays that should free Denard up to get the ball in space.

Bottom line is we both agreed this one will be be close and a semi high scoring affair. Great minds think alike even if one of us went to UofM and the other went to Eastern/transferred to MSU. Boom Roasted!

PS - I google searched "House Divided" and this image came up and I almost crapped my pants in anticipation of a Northwestern/MSU love child. This kid is destined to be a genius with a drinking problem. And don't pretend you don't know where the respective genes are coming from.

Fitzgerald Might've Had a Case on that Whole Facemask Thing

Pat Fitzgerald just about lost his well educated mind when NW went for it on 4th down inside of Michigan territory midway through the 4th quarter and Jordan Kovacs ripped Persa's helmet clean off. Initially, it seemed like Kovacs just got the qb in an awkward position and took the helmet off with a clean squeeze of the right arm but if you took a long look at the replay it was evident that Kovacs' left hand got a handful of Persa's facemask which should've resulted in a personal foul and a first down.

Would it have really mattered? Probably not, but I've got no issues with Pat blowing his top over it cause that's what separates good coaches from the rest. If you aren't prepared to argue that call then you might as well put on a skirt and grab some pom poms like Joe Pa. Mascot U.

What's the Dileo with Michigan having numbers on their Helmets?

I know the announcers explained that Michigan players liked the helmets with the numbers they wore against ND so much that Hoke is gonna roll with them the rest of the year but I'm actually not that into it. I think they look great and all but if you start letting Denard and company call the shots we're gonna see Brady Hoke wearing one of these rasta wigs with the dreads before we play Wisconsin.

Pure Michigan vs Pure Michigan State

Sometimes people make this too easy.

Dave Brandon Talks Another Big House Expansion

Freep - Michigan athletic director Dave Brandon has talked recently, including Wednesday, about a facilities master plan the athletic department is considering. One element involves expanding Michigan Stadium at some point. Brandon said capacity could grow by another 10,000 seats. "One of the things that I’ve said publicly I’d love to do, at some point, is close in at least one of the ends, and that’s all part of the master plan for growth. The south end of the stadium would be the place that we would start, and if we were to take the bleacher system up to the top of the scoreboards, which would be even with the elevation of the East and the West towers, create a concourse that would afford fans the ability to get from one side to the other. It would take the total capacity up close to 119,000, maybe even 120,000."

I don't think more seats is what the Big House needs. I'd much rather they put a bubble over the top of that mother and trap in the sound. Played hockey in one of these growing up and the atmosphere was electric.

Braylon Makes Good on Promise & Sends 100 Cleveland Students to College

CBSSports.com reports that Edwards, who was drafted by the Cleveland Browns in 2005, followed through with a promise he made four years ago through his foundation. In 2007, he promised 100 Cleveland students he'd pay for their college tuition -- a value of $1 million -- if they performed 15 hours of community service a year and kept a grade-point average of at least 2.5. Here's what Edwards tweeted: As the 2nd most hated man in Clev & a man of my word, today I will honor a promise made to 100 students in Cleveland years ago ... The last of my Advance 100 students will graduate from my program and head off to college on scholarships that I will provide them with. Guys enjoy and embrace your new beginnings and remember your promise to me, to reach back & help someone else along the way."

Big ups to Braylon for understanding the importance of education and being charitable enough to do something about it. Great gesture from UofM's greatest wideout. I wonder when the kids of Saginaw will get their check from Charles Rogers?

Jalen Rose Pleads Guilty To Pounding 6 Martinis and Going Sledding In His Escalade

Former Michigan star and NBA player Jalen Rose pleaded guilty today to drunken driving, telling a judge he was embarrassed to admit that he drank six martinis the night he veered off a snowy road and rolled his Cadillac Escalade. Standing beside his attorney, Rose pleaded guilty in district court in Bloomfield Hills to operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated. He faces up to 93 days in a jail, a $500 fine and court costs when he’s sentenced July 27.

I don't hate ya Jalen. Everybody makes bad decisions. I'm just glad you didn't call anyone a f****** cause that shit is career suicide. But for real for real, DUIs are common practice in sports. It's like cheating on your wife. Just keep on keeping on and everyone will forget in a few weeks. Just ask Cabrera. Tiger fans like him more after the whole steakhouse, gun waving, scotch drinking incident.

Now, on a lighter note. I'm off to drink 6 martinis and enjoy a bluegrass band in Brooklyn. Don't worry, I'm taking the train.

Michigan & Notre Dame to Wear Throwback Jerseys for Night Game

Michigan and Notre Dame have said they will wear retro or throwback jerseys when they play Sept. 10 in the first night game at the Big House. Neither school has revealed its jersey, although Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly said last month that the Irish jersey would resemble those from roughly the early 1960s. Kelly also said he had seen the U-M jersey and it included a block "M" and a number. Michigan's jersey, according to a sample provided to the Free Press, will be modeled after the image shown above. A small number also will be added to the upper-left corner of the jersey front, opposite the Adidas logo.

I honesly love the idea of throwback uniforms. Being a Lions fan I'm not sure how you can't. The Thanksgiving throwback is probably the sweetest uniform in sports. But I'm still a little sceptical about UofM busting them out for the first ever night game at the Big House considering that abortion of a uniform we suited up in for the Big Chill. Looks like a 6 year old designed these.


But I think if we grow some sick staches like the 1890 team we just might be able to pull this whole thing off.

Anyone Want Action on this Michigan/Kentucky Softball Game?

Softball is the one sport where nobody can talk shit to the Wolverines. Yeah, I'm hanging my hat on softball these days. Let's go Blue!

Finnish Dude Pulls Mike's Legg

Pretty impressive considering he was moving that quick and shoveled it rather than scooping it. Still, it's like using a lightbulb after Edison invented it.

Forgot To Mention That While I Was Crying Over A Broken Blog, Tractor Traylor Died

I just hope that when I die there’s a picture this sweet of me to put in the papers. With that being said it's still been a sad few day as Michigan fans have mourned the death of Wolverine legend Tractor Traylor. To most of us he will be remembered as a dominating big man with an even bigger smile. But you also can't ignore his slightly tumultuious and misunderstood personal life which came to light when he infamously rolled a Ford Explorer allegedly belonging to Maurice Taylor. Not only did it trigger the investigation that revealed Ed Martin's financial involvement with numerous players but it made Michigan a place that star recruits would'nt touch with their ten foot dick from Flint. Most notably Mateen Cleaves who was in the car on a recruiting trip when it rolled. Enter Tom Izzo dynasty.

But even with his many imperfections, Traylor just had too much of the loveable fat kid in him to dislike and will always be celebrated in Ann Arbor because of unbelievably memorable moments like this.

Does Gisele Have a Package?

I'm pretty sure Gisele has a full fledged penis under there. I mean look at that bulge. If there isn't a cock then she most certainly had some testicles descend or something. Christ, it's like seeing your dad in his tighty-whiteys for the first time when you're 6 and just being in shock and awe of what is going on down there.

PS - With the hair and the male genitalia thing it's getting damn hard to even tell these two apart recently. If someone told me right now that I could fuck either Tom or Gisele it'd be a tough call. All I know is that one of them has 3 Super Bowl rings.

Awesome Billboard on Westbound I-94, Near Wayne Exit

We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets heads are fallin off, but at least we haven't lost our sense of humor.

Michigan Club Hockey's Finest

Who says I never come correct for the Lady Blueskiers? Well, here's my boy Monty to the rescue with some of his most recent glamour shots to keep the ladies and their vibrators busy. We used to play club hockey together at Michigan and it appears that since graduation he and I have spent the same amount of time in the weight room and McDonalds respectively. Big deal though, I can carry a 50 lb weight around my waist too. Christ, I do it everyday, it's called my gut.

Michigan Loses National Championship in OT to a Bunch of Towheads

In the spirit of better late than never news, the U of M hockey team came up just short of a National Championship on Saturday night. In all honesty the University of Minnesota Duluth outplayed Michigan in regulation and I had a feeling that Michigan wouldn't last long in OT. In fact, the only reason U of M even made it to OT was because a Michigan defensman fished a puck off the goal line late in the third after it had slipped past Hunwick. All in all it was a great run for Big Blue, it's just unfortunate how good our hockey team has been since '98 without a title to show for it.

Michigan Spring Practice with Brady Hoke

This is more of an inside look than we got in three years under Rich Rod. It's also good to see we're coaching tackling.

Marty Turco Running a Sportsbook During Chicago/Montreal Game

97.1 The Ticket recieved a photo from a fan of Marty Turco betting with a fan during the game. The bet is being reviewed by the NHL. It was a $5 bet. According to The Sporting News the fan said “I bet him after the Canadiens scored that Chicago wouldn’t score again,” the caller told Montreal station Team 990. “He took the bet. When they scored, I gave him five bucks. I slipped it through the glass. “He took it with no questions asked.”

I have zero problem with this. Hockey is one of the best live-betting games there is and Marty has a lot of free time on his hands after losing his job to that rookie tender they got in Chicago. What I don't understand is how Marty was gonna pony up if he lost? No way dude has his wallet tucked into his jock. Not sure if that's even feasible. Let's ask BMOC, dude has spent countless hours riding the pine.

Introducing My Pick To Win The Masters: You Guessed It, U of M Senior Lion Kim

University of Michigan senior Lion Kim will be part of a marquee group when he plays the first two rounds of the Masters on Thursday and Friday at Augusta National. He will play with major championship winners Jose Maria Olazabal and Davis Love III. Kim will begin the first round at 12:31 p.m. and the second round at 9:02 a.m.

It's almost time for the Masters! And in the words of Happy Gilmore, "Gold jacket, green jacket, who gives a shit?".

Well, to tell you the truth before I found out that this kid from UofM named Lion Kim would be competing I would've fallen into that category. But now I'll be watching this shit like it's the Super Bowl. You kidding me with this name? I mean Lion Kim, really? Most showtime name for an Asian athlete in the history of the world. I'm so confident he's gonna shock the world that I'm putting $10 on Lion and his 1000/1 odds and I'm renting out the UofM golf course for my wedding when he takes it down. It's great, to be, a Michigan Wolverine! Yes it's great, to be, a Michigan Wolverine!