Awesome Billboard on Westbound I-94, Near Wayne Exit

We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets heads are fallin off, but at least we haven't lost our sense of humor.

Herbstreit Moves Out of Ohio Cause He's Tired of Getting Harassed by Buckeye Fans. Wait, Dude IS a Buckeye

Freep - ESPN college football analyst Kirk Herbstreit, a former Ohio State quarterback who lived his entire live in Ohio, most recently Columbus, said a "vocal minority" of Buckeye fans have driven him from his home state. Herbstreit and his wife, Allison, and their children moved to Nashville, Tenn., on Friday, according to the Columbus Dispatch. He said that vocal minority never understood his need to be objective while doing his job. "Nobody loves Ohio State more than me," Herbstreit told the newspaper. "I still have a picture of Woody Hayes and my dad (Jim, a former OSU player) in my office, and nobody will do more than I do for the university behind the scenes. "But I've got a job to do, and I'm going to continue to be fair and objective. To continue to have to defend myself and my family in regards to my love and devotion to Ohio State is unfair."

"From a sports perspective, this is rough," said Herbstreit, who added he had considered the move the last three years. "I love Ohio State, love the Blue Jackets, love the Reds. Those are my hobbies. I don't like moving. I like living here. I don't want to leave. But I just can't do this anymore. I really can't keep going like this. "Eighty to 90 percent of the Ohio State fans are great. It's the vocal minority that make it rough. They probably represent only 5 to 10 percent of the fan base, but they are relentless."

In my opinion Herbstreit is one of the more fair college commentators out there which is noteworthy considering I'm a Wolverine and he's a Buckeye. At his core I believe he's a good guy and he is definitely a fan of the Big Ten in general which has always made him give Michigan their due credit. My only real beef with him was when he effectively torpedoed the Les Miles deal the first time around by breaking the story before it was final and before LSU's SEC championship game. Other than that I think he's legit.

But what I wanna know is why he would make this public. Like, you hate getting yelled at by douchebag OSU fans, I get that. They're all douchebags. But why not just move and tell everybody your wife got a new job or your kids wanted to go to a better school. Something, anything. But don't go telling these cannibalistic assholes that you can't take their ribbing. Cause all you're really doing is proving that OSU folk are either dickweeds or pussies.

PS - You don't see Wolverine fans running Adam Schefter outta town.

TCU Booster Puts His Nuts & Wallet on OSU's Chin

Columbus, Ohio— A series of central Ohio billboards praising TCU takes an apparent jab at Ohio State and its president, Gordon Gee. Gee has said Big Ten and Southeastern Conference teams deserve to play in BCS bowl games more than schools such as TCU because they play tougher opponents, not "the Little Sisters of the Poor." The message displayed — once a minute on the 20 Columbus-area digital billboards — reads, "Congratulations to TCU for their BCS Rose Bowl Victory." It's signed, "Little Sisters of the Poor." The signs are run by Clear Channel Outdoor. The head of its Columbus branch wouldn't identify who paid for the messages, saying only that it was "TCU interests" outside Ohio.

TCU has arrived and I hope they get a shot at OSU next year in a major bowl. If so I'll paint myself purple and streak down the street. Book it.

"THE" University of Tattoos

Huffpost.com - Five Ohio State football players, including quarterback Terrelle Pryor, must sit out the first five games of the 2011 season for accepting improper benefits, the NCAA ruled Thursday. A sixth football player must sit out the first game in 2011 for receiving discounted services in violation of NCAA rules. Pryor is the team’s star, while Herron is the leading rusher and Posey is the second-leading receiver. Adams is a starter at left tackle and Thomas a top sub on the defensive line. Pryor must repay $2,500 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring, a 2009 Fiesta Bowl sportsmanship award and his 2008 Gold Pants, a gift from the university for players on a team that beats arch-rival Michigan. Herron must repay $1,150 for selling his football jersey, pants and shoes for $1,000 and receiving discounted services worth $150. Posey must repay $1,250 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring for $1,200 and receiving discounted services worth $50. Adams must repay $1,000 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring. Thomas must repay $1,505 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring for $1,000, his 2008 Gold Pants for $350 and receiving discounted services worth $155. The players are eligible for the bowl game because the NCAA determined they did not receive adequate rules education during the time period the violations occurred, Lennon said. The NCAA also said that Ohio State did not receive a competitive advantage in the incident.

Well, well, well look what we have here. Turns out Ohio State is a bunch of cheating asshole fuck bags. Imagine that. I seriously need a second while I catch my breath cause this shit is shocking. Never would've thunk it. I mean how could a university that pays its players, takes their tests for them, and lets them steal shit, let them get free tattoos after selling every NCAA keepsake they got as a student athlete?

All I know is that Tressel needs to get punished for this. The guy has run the dirtiest program in the country for years but nobody seems to give a shit because he is raking in money for the Big Ten and the BCS. Now that Tattoogate has come down and there are no more sweater vests to hide behind it's time to start treating him like he works at a university with standards and suspend them for a minimum of two bowl games. A lot of people will probably claim, like the NCAA did, that tattoos didn't give OSU a competitive advantage and therefor shouldn't be punished with bowl sanctions, but to those people I ask, did Chris Webber's free SUV give him a competitive advantage or did the house that USC bought Reggie Bush's parents give him a competitive advantage? Obviously the answer is no but the sanctions still came down and the records were erased. If we are gonna play in a world where rules are rules then it's time that all universities, regardless of academic or moral stature play by the same ones. Suspending Pyror and company for 5 games is bullshit when half of them will declare for the NFL draft in light of the news anyway.

Regardless, it's officially the best day in a long time for UofM fans. Pryor is out at OSU and Denard is now officially the most prolific QB in the Big Ten. I just hope that he hasn't been getting free cheesesteaks at Mr. Spots the past two years cause with the way that the NCAA gets a hard on for investigating Rich Rod the repercussions will probably mean demolishing the Big House and dig up Fielding Yost's grave.

PS - I want receipts for every dime that Pyror makes to pay back the $2,500. Dude better be running bake sales outside of The Shoe.

PSS - Straight bullshit these guys get to play in the bowl game. The NCAA is a bunch of hypocritical ass clowns.

You Think There Are More Hoarders Or Truck Drivers In Ohio?

So, I watch a shit ton of reality TV. And it doesn't even really matter what it is. If there is someone out there doing some crazy ass job or having a baby at age 16 I need to see it and make fun of it. I don't know if that makes me a loser or whether it keeps my finger on the pulse of society so that I can entertain you all. Either way, on any given night where I can't get an online feed of a Wings or Pistons game you can probably find me watching something trashing on TV. Two of my favorites are Hoarders and Animal Hoarders. The other day there was this obese dude who lived in about 2 feet worth of garbage. I was really starting to feel bad for this dude until he waddled back to his bedroom and I realized he was a fuckin Buckeye fan. Go to hell dude, and take your garbage dump of a house with you.

Rufus Takes Out Brutus

No wonder the Bobcats got their dick stomped this weekend. You see that open field tackle Rufus missed? Brutus tacked on a least another 35 after that and made it all the way to paydirt. Looks like the Lions secondary out there. Rufus did deliver a real sweet horsecollar tackle in the endzone though and got in a few nice reach around shots that landed square on Brutus' buckeye.

PS - Roary would've kicked both their asses while he was half in the bag.

Does This Look Like A Woman Who Tried To Call 911 To Report She Was Being Arrested?

Whiotv.com - Police in Eaton, Ohio said a woman threatened to called for help because she was being arrested. Authorities said 44-year-old Andrea Elliot was intoxicated and disorderly on Tuesday night. However, when officers tried to put her in handcuffs, she threatened to call 911 and complain that she was being arrested. Elliot is facing charges of aggravated disorderly conduct.

I got nothing. I didn't anticipate having more Ohio bashing material this soon. It's like they're trying to break my spirit by inundating me with material. And I gotta say they're getting pretty close. How many more ways can I say a state sucks? I mean I'll always come up with bombs like "Your state is flatter than Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen". Boom roasted! Or, "Lake Michigan dumps into the Erie. How does our ass taste?" Boom roasted! But teeing them up for me like this is making it so easy I can't even concentrate. So from now on I want Ohio to keep their 80 year old Heather Locklear mugshots to themselves and let me concentrate on the real reporting. This just in...Jim Tressel drinks wine coolers

Looks Like Ohio State Is Scouting Powderpuff Football

This dude should have to play in sexy underwear like those chicks in the Lingerie Bowl. Go suck a dick dude.

I'll Have What She's Having

If I owned this McDonalds I'd fire every one of these employees effective immediately. The McDonalds handbook clearly states that the second someone tries to put their leg up through the drive thru window, you go for the molten hot french fry grease and chuck that shit in their face. Game over bitch. Opposition neutralized. But instead these clowns buckle under the pressure and let her McNugget rage destroy a valuable piece of company property and then drive away laughing all the way to Burger King. What a shit show. These douches probably don't even know how to make a McGangbang.