Detroitnews.com - Companies such as Inside Detroit and Semseg Tours are offering guided tours of downtown using Segways, the two-wheeled electric vehicles that allow riders to remain upright. Segway tourists can take in the sights at a leisurely pace, while leaving sore feet in the dust. Jeanette Pierce, co-founder of Inside Detroit, says the tours are "a fabulous way to see the city, cover a lot of distance" while seeing the sites in an "up-close and personal" way. Segway tourists, she says, can whiz to Campus Martius, Cadillac Square, the Guardian Building, Comerica Park, Ford Field and many other venues. They can even crank up those Segway engines and zoom along the RiverWalk at speeds of up to 12 miles per hour.
I swear to god if I see these assholes zoom around ford field while im shotgunning my steveweisers and making hire millen signs, I'm going to freak. If Michigan, and Detroit weren't fat enough already, we decide to drop walking from the states to-do list. Let's leave the segways to the bra's and braettes in chicago, who actually have a city worth viewing. I liked the old system way better. Park the car. Secure "the club" on the steering wheel. Place some bear traps in front of the tires. And sprint to the stadium, stiff arming and juking the shit out of bums. If you want to create a new mode of transportation, lets just strap some rickshaws to the homeless seinfeld style. They do have an intimate knowledge of the streets.
PS - I have to stop relying on Seinfeld to solve every problem in my life.
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