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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Ohio Is Nothing But 11.5 Million Truck Drivers & Alpaca Murderers



CINCINNATI — Almost as comforting as the soft sweaters made from alpaca fleece is the affection that the llama-like animals from South America bestow on their owners. Jeff Pergram's alpaca, named Masterpiece, would trail and nuzzle him. So it was heartbreaking not only to Pergram, but also to owners throughout the state known as "Little Peru" for its thriving alpaca industry, when Masterpiece was stolen, beaten to death with a makeshift club and dumped in a barn. "I can't imagine anyone looking into the gentle eyes of an alpaca and doing such a thing," said Beth Kressin, an alpaca owner in Medina, in northeast Ohio. Two 17-year-old boys are charged in juvenile court with animal cruelty and other counts, and a 23-year-old woman is charged with complicity offenses. A judge has ruled that one of the teens should be tried as an adult, and a hearing on the other teen's status is scheduled Thursday. The attack is still discussed at alpaca shows, and owners and others have registered their distress on websites such as a "Justice for Masterpiece" Facebook page, which has drawn thousands of comments.

I wonder what kinda time you get for offing an Alpaca? I mean generally the cuter the animal the more pissed people get when you club it to death and throw it in a barn. And this thing is cute as balls so I'm guessing they're pretty much screwed. Definitely could've gotten away with this if you did it to say a pig, mmm bacon, or an ugly ass turkey, drumsticks, but not a cute, fuzzy sweater making Alpaca. Not in "Little Peru", and not on Joeyblueskies' watch. In fact I think Michigan should go into the Alpaca business and drive Ohio outta the game. Mold our entire new economy around the Alpaca. I'm talking Alpaca clothes, Alpaca cabs, Alpaca lawnmowers, Alpaca burgers, the whole works. Could even rename Comerica, Alpaca Park. That would really chap Ohio's ass. Yeah, I'm really starting to like this idea. Okay it's official, I'm offering up the great state of Michigan as a safe haven for any physically or emotionally abused Alpacas who want out of the shit hole known as Ohio. We are here for you Alpacas. Your days of having your head beat in with make shift clubs while the fat cats in "Little Peru" sit back and do nothing but give you a facebook page are over. I better start making some signs with our new state motto...Pure Alpaca

1 comment:

  1. News flash! I own alpacas in Ohio, and I recently heard about a small farm owned by a very wealthy doctor, who wasn't feeding or caring for his alpacas and llama. A vet turned him in, and another farm rescued the alpacas, and I took the llama. Guess where this scumbag lives? ----MIGCHIGAN---- !! So our alpacas and llamas will stay here in Ohio where they get proper care and feeding!!

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