So, being from the Upper Peninsula I have obviously been beating my dad's ass in cribbage since I was like 12 years old. But in the midst of all those fifteen-twos, runs, and double runs Ive never seen this go down. Gotta get blessed by the gods to get this one. Pulling this off undoubtedly puts Jim Goldsworthy in the company of other sporting legends like Grazio Castellano of Brooklyn who was the first to bowl a 300 game on live television and Mark Buehrle of the Chicago White Sox who pitched only the 19th perfect game in MLB history. Come to think of it, I respect Jim way more than that loser Buehrle cause this shit is way fuckin harder than throwing a perfect game against the D-rays. Chances of a perfect game in baseball are 1 in 32,000 while you got only a 1 in 216,580 chance that you slug a steveweiser, lift your cards, and see J-5-5-5 staring you in the face. Not to mention that you still gotta cut another 5 to hit this combo. I just wanna know where the hell Goldsworthy is hiding Marky Mark cause this shit was the perfect stormof cribbage.
Only thing that might bring down Jim is that he was playing his old lady when this went down. Like if I got to take every breakaway in my hockey career on the Lady Friend then I woulda been putting up Gretzky numbers and I would be NHL'n it instead of teaching 9 year olds how to not hold their sticks like retards. You gotta beat the best, to be the best and I don't understand how you get a 29 point hand in cribbage and don't beat your wife.
But when it comes right down to it, this has to be legit. I mean the first thing he did when he got this hand was lean back and have Don Hannula, the Region 6 Statistician for the American Cribbage Congress confirm the perfect hand. Sounds pretty official to me.
PS- I gotta get in this league. They got a dude named Norm who drives 120 miles to play in it each week and I have that exact USA Hockey sweatshirt that Goldsworthy is rockin.
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