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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The PGA Tour Field Just Collectively Shit Their Pants


New York Post - Superstar Tiger Woods is poised to make a stunning comeback to competitive golf in just two weeks at the Accenture Match Play Championship in Arizona. Only two weeks after checking himself into a sex addiction clinic in Mississippi, Woods is reportedly set to return to the Dove Mountain course where he made his comeback from knee surgery last year, according to the Herald Sun of Melbourne. Woods has won the Accenture Match Play Championship three times. His last victory came in 2008.

Bravo Tiger! Finally thinking with the big head and not the little one. This is exactly the fuckin move you gotta make right now. People have been all over your shit nonstop since you decided to go all Wilt Chamberlain on every mediocre 30 something on the Eastern Seaboard. And to be honest, they ain't stopping anytime soon. There is just nothin else to talk about. Sorry, Phil Mickleson using square grooved wedges just doesn't do it for me. So as long as people will be talking about you you gotta give them something positive to talk about instead of just lurking between sex rehab facilities and back alley abortion clinics. Just get on the fuckin course, stroke some drives, nail some sluts, i mean putts, and forget about the fact that no one wants you wearing their brand anymore. Shit, Ill send you a joeyballgame.blogspot.com golf bag if you want. Just do what you do, put the ball in the hole while using fewer shots than all other human on the planet. Easy, and the sooner you get back to doing that the sooner this shit will evaporate.

In case you don't believe me take a look at A-Rod. Dude got divorced by his wife cause he was sleeping with every stripper and prostitute in Gotham. Pretty much on par with what you were doing, and then on top of it he goes and gets busted for steroids. Guy lost social and professional credibility in a matter of months and was in the Post and Daily News almost as much as you, but come to NYC and everybody fuckin loves the guy. In fact, he doesn't even here that much heckling around the league anymore. The reason why? Dude hit 6 jacks in the post season and won a ring.

Roids, sluts? What roids, sluts?

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