Obviously, the gem of the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver is the Men’s Ice Hockey Tournament. This is by far the biggest event, at least for local Canadians, who have reportedly already consumed vast amounts of Canadian Club Whiskey to prepare for this event; one could argue that the local Canadians have poured more in their mouths lately than Joey “The Dick Blower” Harrington. To properly prepare for this significant Olympic event, it is only right to put everything in proper perspective……..and there is nobody better to provide that proper perspective than famed nihilist killers themselves, Jeffrey Lebowski and Walter Sobchak.
Below is a copy of a recent conversation I had with Jeffrey Lebowski and Walter Sobchak regarding my homework of the Olympic Men’s Ice Hockey Tournament.
Walter Sobchak: Is this your homework, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude: Look, man...
Walter Sobchak: Dude, please? Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude: Just ask him about the car.
Walter Sobchak: Is this yours, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude: Is that your car out front?
Walter Sobchak: Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude: We know it's his fucking homework! Where's the fucking money, you little brat?
Walter Sobchak: Look, Larry. Have you ever heard of Vietnam?
The Dude: Oh, for Christ's sake, Walter...
Walter Sobchak: You're entering a world of pain, son. We know that this is your homework. We know that you stole a car.
The Dude: And the fucking money.
Walter Sobchak: And the fucking money. And, we know that this is your homework.
The Dude: We're going to cut your dick off, Larry.
Walter Sobchak: You're killing your father, Larry!
Now here are my Olympic Men’s Ice Hockey medal predictions:
Bronze: Sweden
Why: The defending champion is again loaded with talent. Expect the Sedin twins to flourish in their current home city of Vancouver. Goaltending should be good with Henrik Lunquvist. However, this is an older team and will likely run into a younger and hungrier team.
Silver: Canada
Why: I know what your thinking right now. How the fuck can you make that prediction? Well Canada may have the deepest and most talented roster but they will lack the chemistry to win the gold. The pressure will be too much to handle and will become a great distraction as Team Canada plays further into the tournament. Expect Canada to blow out several teams including the shit USA squad.
Gold: Russia
Why: Russia’s scoring power is downright scary. With the likes of Ilya Kovalchuk, Alexander Semin, Evgeni Malkin, and, oh yeah, Alexander Ovechkin…Russia has what it takes to knock Canada off. Plus Russia has solid goaltending. Expect Russia’s scoring power and goaltending to be the difference.
Go grab a white Russian or two and kick back and watch the Russians win gold…
Lock it up!
Mallard
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