Restaurar El Rugido

The Detroit Tigers are 5 games into spring training and are 3-2 in Grapefruit Legaue Play. Both losses have been close games to the Blue Jays and the good news is we don't have to play them 16 times a season... Here are the top 5 things we've learned so far....

1. The Tigers Can Hit Again.

After the past two years, when we're were promised "an offensive onslaught never before seen in baseball," and actually got a bunch of injured, overweight, strike-out queens, its nice to see the Tigers flexing some offensive muscle. In the first five games of spring training we've seen 45 runs, 65 hits, and 0 errors. I'm almost as impressed by the 0 error's line, but then I remembered Brennan Boesch got 11 stitches for misplaying a fly ball in the wind. A face catch is an error. Period.


2. Austin Jackson Runs Like A Girl.

So far, Austin Jackson has lived up to the hype, from the plate anyways. 14 total at bats and the dude has 5 hits, 5 walks, 3 RBIs and 1 strike out! He's batting .556. The bad news, he runs the bases like he's drunk in a church softball league. He's been picked off at first, caught stealing 2nd, and run into a double play. I blame this on a few people: First, the Yankees. They aren't totally asses cus they taught him to hit, but it must have been in a cage cus the guy acts like he's never been on first base before. Second, I blame his parents. Obviously. Third, I blame Andy Van Slyke. Really, you had to retire from coaching? It's like retiring from retiring. If all I had to do was stand on the first base line for every Tigers game in a uniform with my name on the back and got paid for it, I'd keep that job until the day I died. Then I'd make them bury me under the coach's box. Regardless, someone needs to teach Jackson how to run cus this here, this is the big leagues son.


3. Defense, Defense, Defense.

Santiago, Sizemore, and Everett. It almost sounds like a law firm in Miami. It's basically the troop that will be guarding the middle this season, since its been proven that a Detroit pitcher can't field a ground ball to save his own life. We've had 6 double plays in 5 games. Great. However, these three defensive studs have an average BA of .205 and just 6 hits in 27 at bats. A couple of BBs, but seriously, if you like playing D so much, why don't you guys pretend like you need to keep the ball away from the catcher with that bat...




4. My Dead Grandmother Is Going To Be The 5th starter...

Dear Bondo, Robertson, Galaragga, and Willis, Hey Guys whats up? Not too much here. Just writing because I wanted to say hey and also to tell you guys to GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES! This is your chance idiots. There are really two spots open here. After Bondo's first outing ( 2IP, 1 H, 1 BB, and 3 SO) I thought number 4 was all locked up. However, that ass clown came back and delivered a 0.2 IP, 6 H, 6 R, 1 SO effort which totally knocked the wind out of me. 24 pitches to get one out? Your arm probably willed that blood clot in your shoulder to stop you from embarrassing yourself. Roberston was the opposite. A shit show in his first game, and a hero in his second. Galarraga has been a little bit better, but if I have to listen to him stumble through another sentence AND second half of the season Im going to kill myself. So that leaves me with Willis. Willis threw well in his only outing, 2.0 IP, 0 R, 1 H, 2 BB, and 2 SO, but betting on Dontrelle is iffy at best. You're probably better off betting that Willis from Different Strokes pitches a full season than that guy. So, someone, anyone, step up and throw the ball. You don't have to be great, you just have to stand there and let people make plays. Comerica is a pitcher friendly park remember?



5. They're Changing Their Name To The Detroit Mudhens.

I hate to say it, but all of these prospects in spring training are getting me excited. Dlugach, besides having to be called the Big D because no one can pronounce his last name, is a home run machine. Avila is just like Laird, but with movable arms and thus hitting ability. Wells, Thomas, Kelly, and Strieby have all been impressive. If need be, I'll go to Fifth-Third Field in Toledo to see Guillen hit into double plays if it means these guys can get a chance to start.



JustBatey