The Tigers blow. There I said it. I mean, we're trading away my favorite players and we're losing? Double dagger. If we were any worse, they'd call us the White Sox. We're just playing bad ball. It's like we're stupid. It's like this picture:
Here's a list of things that are not going our way and thus causing Walruses everywhere to shed tears:
1. There's no place like home... We've spent 37 out of 61 days this season away from home. And we've been out on the west coast alot. ALOT. We're 11-15 on the road this season. Sucks. 15-10 at home. Good. We need to start settling in at Comerica and make the most of not playing at 7 pm PACIFIC time. I mean what the fuck is that?
And we've played Oakland like 1,000 times already. I'm getting really tired of looking at Dallas Braden. As Walt Frazier would say, "Dude's beard is weird." And he's a fuck. We've got a 6 game road trip coming up to KC and CWS that should bring us some wins please god and after that we've got an 11 game home stand. Let's do something with this opportunity right here.2. The Bad Guys Have Been Good... When did we decide that we wanted to only play sweet teams in May? We played 9 teams in May, of those 5 had winning records (3 lead their division and the other two were the Yankees and Red Sox!). We played 20 games against 5 winning teams in May and just 9 games against bad teams. It was a rough month. Don't worry though, June is looking better. This month, we play 9 teams again, however, we play 6 teams with losing records and 3 teams with winning records (and that includes the Mets(!) who are one game above .500 again). Atlanta and Minnesota are both at the end of the month, so if we can build up some steam against teams like ARI, WSH, PIT, CWS, KC, and CLE we should be killing by then. But forget May. And again, if I see the A's play again this year, I'm going to lose my fucking mind.
3. We Ain't Who We Used To Be... Dontrelle. OHHHHHHH Dontrelle. I mean, what can I say? The dude's a lunatic, but at least he has some pride and drew a line in the sand, basically saying he would rather be released than be sent back down for another minor league stint. So we traded him for who? Buckner? (no relation to Bill if you're wondering) Don't get excited though, this Buckner's no peach, going 0-3 this year with 26 hits in 13 innings for the D-Backs... Additionally, Carlos Guillen is playing second base now, Boesch and Jackson have both decided to cool off together cus they're you know (Lamar from Revenge Of The Nerds limp wrist here...), and our offense just hasn't been clicking in the last 10 games. I mean 2-8 in the last 10? Disgusting. But we're going through some growth spurts right now. Ryan Perry won't be in to screw anythign up any time soon and we're slumping. The good news is it's May. So we have time. All in all, I think there's hope, but these next two weeks are going to be very indicative of what the rest of this season is going to be like. Either pull up your boot straps or get the fuck out of here, cus Im not spending the next 4 months cheering for a group of assholes that are going to lose it on the last day again. Either youre in or youre out. Let's do this!
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