ORLANDO, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35) - Orlando Police say Friday morning, homeless man Cordell Spruill tried to steal a load of snacks and other food from the Citgo Gas Station at Colonial and Primrose Drives in Orlando, when the store manager caught him in the act. Clerk Sean O describes what was probably the most bizarre scene regulars at the gas station have ever seen. O says, "They were fighting all over the street here basically." O says the store manager caught Spruill stuffing chips, candy, and all sorts of snacks into his jacket and pants pockets, but when the manager asked him to pay up, Spruill refused... eventually socking him right in the eye! Spruill then took off, and the manager chased after him. A couple other people joined the chase, and the brawl began.
Sorry to waste your time with this cause it's a complete non story. It's just your everyday, "homeless dude jacks the Citgo manager in the face and takes off running cause he got caught stuffing his cargo shorts full of beef jerky" puff piece. Seen it a million times.
No there are two real reasons why I wrote this post. One, who the hell does this "Sean O" think he is with this one letter last name bullshit? Give me a break. Unless you're Zack Follett you better cool it with all that initial stuff. Right Z?
And 2, I'm pretty sure this dude is Bob Marley. Turns out Bob faked his death years ago and has been living the good life in the back alley of the Citgo parking lot under the alias Cordell Spruill. It's the perfect crime.
M
Update - The Boy just let me know that I misdiagnosed this one and it's actually just Bubbles from The Wire
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