Green Bay Packers cornerback Brandon Underwood is reportedly under investigation for sexual assault. According to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, police are looking into whether the defensive back assaulted two women on Saturday morning. Seven Packers are said to have attended a party at Lake Delton, Wisc., where the incident occurred. It was previously reported that six of the players were cleared of any involvement. A police sergeant says that the seventh player had sexual contact with two women, but it is unclear whether the sex was consensual. Underwood, who is 23, is a second-year cornerback. He attended the University of Cincinnati and was picked in the sixth round of the 2009 NFL Draft.
So it's pretty clear to me that Mark Chmura is back working for the Packers in some capacity because this thing absolutely reeks of Chewy. He was the one who invented assaulting chicks in Wisconsin, I mean the guy wrote the fuckin playbook on throwing prom parties for 17 year old babysitters while your wife is outta town, and then sexually assaulting them in your hot tub.
And Chewy knows how to put together a crew too. He's essentially the Ken Holland of sexual predators and made the smart decision to bring in his next door neighbor to assault a few chicks cause the workload was just too much for one man. Now that's a leader and I can see why the Pack would be interested in bringing back a guy like that.
But with the Vikings stealing the show these days when it comes to sex parties, the Packers really had their backs against the wall and were left with no choice except to bring in the big gun. And it didn't take long for Underwood and the Pack to soak up Chmura's wisdom. I'm just disappointed in the youngsters lack of discipline here. You can't beat a sex boat story by just banging two chicks with six of your teammates watching. That's weak sauce.
It was Jim Ganter's daughter that he got flagged for illegal contact.
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