It Finally Happened, Michigan Bans Four Loko

The Michigan Liquor Control Commission on Thursday banned the drink Four Loko and dozens of similar alcoholic drinks from being sold in the state. Known by some as "blackout in a can" for its combination of caffeine and 12% alcohol, Four Loko is one of 55 drinks that the state banned Thursday. A Melvindale teen said she consumed Four Loko before she said she was sexually assaulted last month.

The commission reversed its approval of all energy drinks that contain alcohol, citing safety reasons, and is giving manufacturers of the beverages 30 days to remove them from store shelves. Other drinks banned include Joose and Smirnoff Raw Tea. Described as a premium malt beverage, the makers of Four Loko have come under fire after dozens of students at Central Washington University became sick after mixing the drink with other liquors and pills. The drink is said to contain the equivalent of three to four cups of coffee and about four beers. Andrea Miller, spokeswoman for the liquor control board, said media accounts about the drinks, including the Free Press article about the Melvindale girl who said she drank Four Loko mixed with rum, prompted the commission's decision.

The assault by conservative America on Four Loko has been all over the news lately. Absolutely every blog has hit on it as well as major news organizations and facebook crusaders trying to save college coeds from inevitable disaster if they consume it. People are seriously more scared of this shit than of Osama Bin Laden. It's like public enemy #1. And yeah I get that the caffeine will jack you up and probably make you drink slightly faster or maybe slightly more than you would if you were drinking say, PBR, but making this shit out to be the end of the world as we know it is stupid. Look at the reasons behind why it's getting banned across the state...

...the makers of Four Loko have come under fire after dozens of students at Central Washington University became sick after mixing the drink with other liquors and pills...

&

...media accounts about the drinks, including the Free Press article about the Melvindale girl who said she drank Four Loko mixed with rum, prompted the commission's decision...

Really babe? You didn't realize that mixing a 12% malt beverage with a bunch of pills and liquor at a frat party was a recipe to get assaulted? I mean I'm not gonna cut the scumbag who did it even the slightest bit of slack, he should go to jail cause he knew just what was gonna happen. But so should've she. It's not like I'm gonna go blaming my crack dealer when I sprinkle some rocks on my magic mushrooms before I use them as a topping on some special brownies and it gets me all fucked up. The truth is crack fucks you up, magic mushrooms fuck you up, and special brownies fuck you up. Combine all three and you're gonna be royally fucked up, no? So how is this Four Loko's fault? Just my opinion.

Either way I don't really care if this shit gets banned or not, I'm more of a Sparks man myself. Plus, I drank a Four Loko once and I felt like I got roofied.