Kid Discovers Joeyblueskies.com

At first I thought this kid was watching 2 girls, 1 cup for the first time but then I saw him bust out that smirk at the :31 second mark and it became glaringly obvious that he was reading Joeyblueskies.com

I bet this is exactly what Motay looks like at work as he's paging through my unadulterated humor.

Modano Out Indefinitely After Getting Freddy Krueger Hand Implant

Modano spoke Monday for the first time since undergoing surgery Saturday to repair a severed tendon and nerve damage in his right wrist. He was hurt last Friday night when he was cut accidentally by the skate of Columbus forward R.J. Umberger. "Once the skate hit me, the pain was really sharp, and I knew something was wrong," Modano said in a telephone interview with the Free Press. "When I looked in the glove and saw the type of bleeding there was, I knew something was really wrong. I knew it wasn't going to be good news." Modano came out of surgery on Saturday to find rubber bands looped through stitches sewn into his fingernails. For starters, Modano is looking at eight weeks in a cast that immobilizes his arm. Modano said specialist who performed the operation, Dr. Richard Singer, is "very hands-on and is concerned not just about me playing hockey again but about my quality of life."


Over the long holiday weekend I forgot to mention that Modano suffered what seems to be a season ending injury to his right wrist. With any luck we might have our hired gun back for the playoffs but who knows how effective he'll be after eating $5 Hot & Readys all winter long.

Bottom line this definitely sucks but I just don't foresee this injury slowing the Wings down much during the regular season because of their depth at forward. Plus I'm thinking Mike is gonna have a wicked wrister once he returns with those rubber bands sewn into his finger nails.

Derek Anderson Loses His Shit On A Reporter When Asked About Laughing During A Blowout

If you were one of the 10 people who didn't kill themselves halfway through that abortion of a MNF game then you probably saw the shot of Arizona QB Derek Anderson yuckin it up on the sidelines with one of his teammates when they were down 18 in the fourth quarter. It's definitely bad form to be seemingly okay with a loss but man, people are flipping their shit about this like he's the Antichrist or something. In reality I just don't think it's that big of a deal. Yeah, I'd probably be singing a different tune if it were Stafford telling knock-knock jokes to his butt buddy Raiola on the tail end of a blowout but I really don't see what the big deal is here. Every player in the league instantly starts chumming it up with their old buddies the second the clock ticks down on a loss. I mean just the other day these two long lost lovers reminisced about Rick's in Ann Arbor follow a massive blowout. So it happens.


The real issue I have with this whole bizarre story is that I completely don't understand Anderson's overreaction. Just make something up dude. Say the guy next to you farted or that you just got a text of Brett Favre's dick but for god's sake don't come completely unglued on the stand like Col. Jessep in "A Few Good Men". Cause now you got the whole world thinking you can't handle the truth about you being a shitty quarterback that doesn't care about winning.

Who Does Rex Ryan Think He Is, Bart Simpson?

Ryan took a jab at the poor play by Lions cornerback Alphonso Smith on Thursday against the Patriots. Smith gave up three touchdowns in the blowout loss to New England, including a laughably bad effort on Deion Branch’s 79-yard TD catch:

“Detroit should probably offer us three first-round picks for one of our corners,” Ryan said. “Looking at the way that one kid played for them.”

Listen I was fine with Bart Simpson taking a dig at the Lions cause the dude has been getting shit on by Nelson since 1989. I basically feel like he's one of us at this point. But fuckin Rex Ryan can go eat a dick with this whole 3 first-round picks bullshit. We get it, you like to run your mouth. But what the hell does Alphonso Smith have to do with you? Chill the fuck out fat man and focus on not getting trounced by the Pats this week.

And truth be told, Alphonso could take a steaming dump all over the field for the rest of the season and he'd still be my favorite Lion.



He's hands down the most showtime Lion since Scotty Anderson.

Morning Wood with Shannon Elizabeth

Well its official. I'm old as shit. I had my ten year high school reunion this weekend. It went pretty much as you would expect. I showed up and it was kind of awkward at first. Everyone looked SO different. Started chatting with a few people after a few drinks and things were going well, when the hottest girl in my high school came up to me and asked me if I wanted to make out. I played it cool and said something like "I mean, whatever, not like I have anything better to do..." That drove her wild, but just then, her husband, former quarterback and school dick Rex McStone got in my face and challenged me to fight. So of course all of the karate training I've done since senior year kicked in and I instinctively round housed him in the face in front of everyone. It was crazy. Then I banged his wife in the bed of his truck while his buddies took him to the hospital... So to celebrate my 10 year Reunion, I thought I'd do a throwback Morning Wood and who better than Shannon Elizabeth to share some coming of age memories with? She now plays professional poker and was on some show called Dancing With The Stars... I don't know if I'd go that far, but i do know if I started a show called Dancing With Awesome Boobs, she'd be right near the top. Enjoy these photos and try not to hump any desserts while reading this post OK?

Tell Chris Klein to quit being such a pussy and read this headlines why don't you?

- We have a complete run down on the possibilities that Rich Rod is fired in the next few weeks. I mean, come on right? Of course he should. But instead of shredding files, he should just hand them to Denard who will obviously throw them away at the first opportunity like every other object handed to him....

- I came, I saw, I was conquered. I went to Columbus and all I got was an ass kicking by OSU.

- Finally, enjoy this clip from the Simpsons about how bad the Detroit Lions are. I mean, it is like Mad Max, but I thought since we didn't have those crazy haircuts, no one really noticed...

Beer Bong Goes Wrong When Drunken, Ass Slapper Falls From The Sky

Everyone can forget the drunk bitch on the truck trying to steal the show. She's old news. I mean stop acting like you've never seen a stripper take a digger before. No, the real story here is the beer bonging clinic that Red puts on. That poor Bud Light Lime didn't stand a hotdog's chance in Jose's house of making it out alive. The last time I saw a hurtin get put on a bong like this, Jhof ended up on a gurney for 3 days.

Is Kim Kardashian Fuckin Kidding Me With This Kris Humphries Dude?

NBAFrontPage.com - It seems that the socialite who loves football players is taking the path led by her little sister. Kim Kardashian was spotted eating dinner with Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets last night at NOBU in Tribeca.

Kimbo just fist fucked my heart with this news. I mean I understand the infatuation with Reggie Bush and even a little bit of the Miles Austin thing. They're professional football players on top of the world. But seriously, Kris fuckin Humphries. Dude's a career journeyman averaging under 5 pts per game. Shit, I average over 5 posts per day and ain't even breaking a sweat over here.


PS - *Update* - When you take senior pictures like this you fuck who you wanna fuck.

"As it turns out, it's not a huge pile of burning garbage that people gather around and call a city..."

Well, I've done it. Just like Indiana Jones, I went into the Lion's den and survived. Although I did it with out a whip or a gun or a latin speaking, german woman banging father who looks alot like Sean Connery. That's right, I spent the whole weekend in Columbus during the Michigan/OSU rivalry weekend and all I did was go to a Red Wings game on Friday night (which they won, awesome) and then to the Michigan game (which they lost, totallyfuckingbelievable). I've prepared a short montage of photos from the weekend with more to come. Enjoy. And yeah, I compared myself to Indiana Jones. Believe it.
These were our seats. They asked me if I wanted to drop the puck to start the game, I said "No thank you. My seats are better."

These were the kids in front of us. I was going to ask them when exactly Steve Nash started playing hockey, but then I realized if it turned into a brawl, I was definitely going to lose. First, there was two of them. Second, this kid had his fighting mask on the whole game...

This is Boomer, the Columbus mascot. He's a cannon, although he look like a bong in a wheel chair to me. He also looks like a giant gray wang walking around the rink, but that mustache is so damn hypnotizing, all I could do was smile and wave at this guy.

This baby got so tired of my heckling, he had his Dad go out and buy ear muffs, only to stare me down the rest of the game... What do I care though? AT LEAST I CAN FEED MYSELF YOU HALF-WIT!

This is the stadium. I was the only Michigan fan there.

They did a great job with this "O". Apparently all you need to know how to do to get into OSU is stand in a circle...

Cus they can't make an "M" to save their life...

Most Heads Up Play You'll See For Awhile

Michigan's defense couldn't make this play in a million years. If they tried they'd probably bat it right back into the hands of the other team and then watch them take off for six.

Open Season on the Lions

After the way they've played this year I can't blame anyone for taking a shot.

Cortland Finnegan & Andre Johnson Throw Down

About god damn time football players stopped acting like a bunch of retards and got the buckets off before they started throwing. I almost vomited pumpkin pie all over the place at the end of that Lions/Pats game when they kept punching each other in the facemasks thinking it was doing something. If you punch a dude with a helmet on you're gonna break your hand, that's pretty much a given. Get that shit off like Andre and have your way.

PS - Cortland Finnegan is a bitch

Rich Rod Boondoggle Reaches Boiling Point

After Saturday's embarrassing loss to OSU it became glaringly obvious that a decision regarding what to do with the Rich Rod boondoggle will be made soon. The overwhelming vibe coming from the Michigan faithful is one of utter discontent toward Rich Rod and the entire situation. The majority of those who don the maize and blue, consider a 10-2 record and a trip to a major bowl as part of their god given right when they're handed an M-card, and they're the ones who seem to be screaming the loudest for Rich Rod's head.

Even though more fans than not fall into the above mentioned category, there is still a large contingent of people who believe that cutting Rich Rod loose now would be a big mistake. These are generally the type of fans who overpower the conversation with stats piled on top of stats about the number of shits Rich Rod takes each day. These "diehards" seem to think that their overwhelming bank of statistical football knowledge allows them carte blanche to endorse Rich while not taking responsibility for the losses that pile up under his watch.

In my opinion that's bullshit. I've been a supporter of Rich Rod during his time at Michigan and thought the hire was a good one from the get go. I didn't foresee things going the way they have but I also never wanted the plug pulled after his first or second year. This was an experiment with a three year shelf life and this was the year where we needed to see significant gains. Sure, the offense put up gaudy numbers but the inconsistency against good teams (most notably MSU, Wisco, and OSU) outweighed the rest. As Lloyd Carr will tell you, people don't give a shit about whether or not you beat Illinois, they want wins against the scarlet and grey.

As many mistakes as the offense made against good teams, I still think Rich Rod's cardinal sin was putting faith in the hands of Greg Robinson. I don't believe I've ever seen another defensive coach look so completely unprepared and outwitted on a weekly basis. His scheme sucked, his players sucked, and his inability to correct things on the fly makes him the worst defensive coach in memory. I don't care how good of an offensive coach Rich Rod is, if he thought this guy was worthy of the job then that shows a serious lack in judgement on his part and not stepping in to correct the situation was inexcusable. Like I said earlier, I always believe Rich needed 3 years. He didn't need to win a national championship in 3 years but he definitely needed to beat MSU or OSU at least once, and bottom line, it just didn't happen. I think he needs to go.

But getting rid of Rich and restoring the program to glory is easier said than done. Uprooting Rich Rod will ultimately mean a new system, one in which Denard will most likely not fit. If this happens you've basically gotta ask Denard to move to WR or some type of hybrid runningback position. I honestly believe he could be an amazing weapon for the team at another spot, but I just don't see him making a move like that unless he thinks he's got a legitimate Heisman shot at that position under the new coaching staff. Most likely Denard will transfer, leaving us with a new set of players in a new system. The only way this becomes worthwhile is if the new system is monumentally better than the last. The question David Brandon must ask himself is whether or not he thinks Jim Harbaugh (the obvious candidate) starting from scratch is better in both the short and long term than Rich staying put with a more experienced Denard at the helm. I personally think that the entire deal depends on if Jim Harbaugh is seriously interested in the Michigan job this upcoming year.

If Harbaugh wants to go somewhere now, then Rich is gone. It makes too much sense to not bring him in. The "Michigan Man" allure is too great and he's proven that he can both recruit and win. Michigan will wait till January 1st once Rich's buy out goes from 4 million to 2.5 but then he'll ultimately be gone. The only real way I see Rich Rod keeping his job at this point is if Harbaugh wants to stay put at Stanford for another year or is 100% sold on leaving for the NFL. If that's the case then we'll see Rich and Denard back to try and fine tune the offensive machine, while Jeff Casteel, West Virginia's defensive coordinator, takes over Robinson's job. If Brandon is half the AD everyone says he is then he should already be on the phone with Harbaugh to feel him out. If Jim says "thanks, but no thanks", then Brandon should fully support Rich Rod in the upcoming days and put his mind at ease so he can prepare for the bowl game and recruit his ass off in the meantime. If we don't hear from Brandon soon, I think the writing is on the wall and Rich should put his house on the market.

Morning Wood with Gizem Memiç

So, Thanksgiving's over. Thank god. No more family in your house, kids jumping on your furniture, or Uncle's blowing up your bathroom. If you're a Lions fan, you're probably also glad that you won't be subjected to any more nationally televised blow outs this year. But one thing you're not sick of yet is turkey. I still have a gallon tub of it in my fridge and all I can think about is the many ways in which I plan to gobble this stuff up. I'm probably going to go with something like: turkey sandwiches,followed by turkey sandwiches, and finally, more turkey sandwiches. So to go along with all this delicious food, I thought I'd make today's Morning Wood none other than Gizem Memiç, Miss Turkey 2010 herself. Apparently she loves a good stuffing and says her favorite part of her body is her thighs. I've always been more of a breast man myself, but who am I too complain about free turkey... So get your basters ready, take a look at these shots, and let's all be thankful for a holiday that celebrates overeating, football, and Turkey one last time.

No Blog Today > Still Shell Shocked & Wondering What Exactly Went Wrong

Lions Lose 45-24. I Quit

Wow. Just wow. Time to stuff my face and get drunk.

Lions vs Pats - 2'nd Quarter Thoughts

-Things looked like they were finally starting to go our way with the "first down, but no touchdown call", but then of course we remembered we were the Lions and Tom Brady started to have his way with us like he would with Giselle on his Birthday. At least he blew his load quick and we still had enough time on the clock to get another 3 points.

-Green-Ellis' TD run was beautiful. Four Lion's got their hands on him and for a second I could've sworn I saw Ernie Sims miss the tackle and go flying off his back. Best part was when Alphonso Smith got straight bulldozed into the endzone like he was on the JV team. Lions' runningbacks take note, that is how you run the ball.

-Highlight of the First Half: Vanden Bosch almost cutting Brady in half on consecutive plays. Must keep getting pressure if we wanna disrupt the flow of New England's offense.

Lions vs Pats - 1'st Quarter Thoughts

-Brady is putting on a clinic early. He's throwing the ball to where the receiver will be 2 seconds later and the Lions secondary looks like they're chasing their own tails. I also can't believe Belicheck didn't go for it on 4th and 1 at like the 5 yard line. Lions dodged a bullet on that one.

-Before the touchdown drive I was thinking the Lions should change their fight song to "1 yard dump offs down the field!".

-The only difference between Jahvid Best and Aaron Brown is that Jahvid has a dope website.

-When did Shaun Hill turn into Denard Robinson?


-If you wanna win this one keep throwing to Calvin and Nate.

Thanksgiving Day Live Blog >

Best day of the year. Lady Friend is baking pies, turkey is in the oven, and I got Suh in a Thanksgiving throwback. Life is good.

Hudler Gets To Hit The Clubs Tonight In Atlanta After Being Named Healthy Scratch

ATLANTA -- Detroit Red Wings coach Mike Babcock has decided to scratch underperforming forward Jiri Hudler for tonight’s game at Philips Arena against the Thrashers, a move that isn’t sitting well with Hudler. “The bottom line is you’ve got to find a way to be in every night, that people aren't questioning whether you’re in or not. We all know that we need him, we need his scoring, we need his gift of knowing how to play. He’s played a lot of big games for us, helped us win a Cup. We need that back. That’s the challenge for him. Now, he’s not going to like this, but that’s just the way it is.” Asked whether he’s disappointed, Hudler paused. “I don’t know what to tell you,” he said. “If I say yes, it would look bad. If I say I’m upset … obviously, I’m not happy. I’m not happy. There’s nothing else I can do about it.”

Hudler chill out bro. You got a smoking hot wife and a free night in Hotlanta. Stop your bitchin. Plus you're minus 5 on the year and have 5 points in 16 games. Those numbers aren't exactly setting the league on fire and after your much anticipated return this off-season you were considered the Wings' secret weapon. I'm fine with you getting pissed about being scratched, but if you wanna roll with this team you gotta step up your game.

Human Fetus Found In Detroit Public School. Don't Worry It's Not As Gross As You Think, It Was Preserved In Mustard Jar. PS-This Is A Pig, Not A Human

Freep.com - Detroit Public Schools officials today were baffled by the gruesome discovery of a jar containing a human fetus. The jar was found Wednesday at Denby High School, according to Steve Wasko, a spokesman for DPS. School officials are unsure who discovered it, but said it was found in a closet near a science room as workers were preparing the building for remodeling. Officials believe the fetus has been in the building for more than 25 years. Investigators from the Office of Inspector General interviewed a science teacher who said the fetus predated his tenure at the school, Wasko said. That teacher started working there in 1986. The teacher said the fetus had always been in the closet, Wasko said. Wasko, who also saw the fetus, said it was in an air-tight Kraft mustard jar with liquid, apparently preserved.

So let me get this straight, Bill Nye the Science Guy knew there was some munchkin chillin in formaldehyde in his closet since 1986 and he didn't think he needed to tell anyone cause he wasn't the one who put it there, do I have that right? This type of pure genius is probably the reason why only 1/4 students in DPS graduate. I guess there's always the possibility that he didn't wanna lose the per pupil expenditure, in which case I think it's brilliant.

Mark One For Sexually Assaulted Women Everywhere

Hey Seymour, you wanna really burn Rapelisberger? I think you should run with this and become the spokesperson for sexually assault women.

Kinda Hot Brunette Wears Bikini Through LAX Security

This chick goes from like a shaky 3 to a solid 8.5 the second she cracks that slutty smile and starts stripping down. I wouldn't mind being a TSA agent when she comes rolling through the security checkpoint. Shit I'd even trade my life with this reporter, she was straight sweating him. You see how willing she was to take that coat off and judging by the speed at which she took it off, it's definitely not her first time performing a sex act in public.

PS - Amatuer move not asking her to move that scarf

How Many Times Can Millen Get Away With Being An Asshole On National TV?

Son of a fuckin bitch, how is Millen not fired yet? I mean being a Lions fan I know I have a lower level of tolerance for Millen but christ, how can the network big wigs keep writing checks for this asshole know-it-all? He's called Jaws a Polack, praised Marinelli as the best coach of all time, and screamed at Steve Young all since April. Dude straight up can't control his emotions on air. I know that passion is a reason that people want him on air, but flipping out on your colleagues and muttering racial slurs isn't the best way to keep your job. I don't love Steve Young and I think he acts like he fuckin knows everything a lot of the time, but watching him give Millen that "you make me look fuckin sane" look was enjoyable.

Oh, and as a sidenote, SY was 100% correct, Brett Favre straight runs that team. It's why Chilly is gone and Favre is still the starter. And i'm thinking Steve Young might have a little insight into the quarterback/head coach dynamic and what happens in a lockerroom.

Morning Wood with Lea Michele

John Falls is out today so I'm taking over your Morning Wood. Wait, that came off wrong. Anygay, here's Lea Michele from Glee. People got their panties in a bunch over these photos cause she plays a highschool girl on TV even though she's like 26. Get over it people. That ass is smoking.

You ain't getting a recap from me cause I wrote the shit. Deal. Happy Turkey Day Eve everybody!

Miley Cyrus Turns 18

Looks like it was just in the nick of time too.


Chick has been getting buck wild lately.

Have No Fear, The Wings Are Here

With how shitty the Stones, Lions, and Wolverines are, the Wings are the only thing keeping me from burning down the city of Detroit. Hank and Datsyuk did it again on Sunday when Datsyuk muscled through two defenders and slide a saucer pass over to Hank who roofed the game tying goal with 3.2 seconds left in regulation. Like I've said before, watching these two is special. Thus far the Wings have battled through a lot of slow starts and have got themselves on top of the Western conference. The Wings were down 4-2 to Calgary on Sunday and went on to win with an OT goal from Nick Lidstrom. The win puts them at 13-3-2 on the season with a total of 28 pts.

Joe D Fucked Up Signing Charlie V Instead of Darko 2 Years Ago

Fantasybasketball.com - Darko Milicic scored 21 points on 9-of-14 shooting with four rebounds, two assists, and three blocks in 36 minutes on Monday. His assists don't show it, but he has drastically improved his passing and with his recent play he should be owned in all formats. If he's available in your league, find space for him on your roster.

What planet is this? Darko just dropped 23 and then 21 in back to back games? Jesus, trade Charlie V for him straight up right now. At least Darko plays defense.

PS - I'm not sure why but I love these old school T-Wolves jerseys. I think it's because they remind me of the Isaiah Rider days. Used to love that dude.

Just turned on the Stones game and they're down 11-0. Way to come out flying guys

It's so damn hard to like this team. I finally get a decent feed of the game up on my computer and 5 minutes in we've got 0 points. I'm not saying that I'm giving up on the franchise in general but instead I'm gonna pull the plug on them as soon as they piss me off each game. And that point is right now. I'm out bitches.

Firecrotch Flips Out When Dude Pulls His Dick Out On The Subway

This is the reason I continue to live in NY. It's not because of the cultural diversity, or beautiful skyline. It's not even because the bars stay open till 4am. Nope, the reason I stay is because you never know when you might get the chance to film a dude yank out his dick and grind it on some Kathy Griffin wannabee. It's one of the many charms of this place.

PS - She can cut the whole "now my plans are done for the night" routine too. You ain't fooling anyone sweetie and now that every dude on the train knows you're a prude you'll probably die a virgin. Chill the fuck out and take the subway action as it comes. You can still go home and watch Gossip Girl once he's finished.

Tigers Make Necessary Move and Bring In Victor Martinez

ESPN.com - Free agent catcher Victor Martinez is bolting the Boston Red Sox to sign with the Detroit Tigers, according to multiple media reports on Tuesday. Martinez will receive a four-year deal for $50 million, according to Venezuelan reporter Ignacio Serrano of El Nacional, who first reported the agreement. The Associated Press reported that the deal is pending the results of a physical. Martinez made $7.7 million last season. The Red Sox offered Martinez a choice of a three-year, $36 million deal or a four-year contract for $42 million, according to a major league source. The Orioles and White Sox were also outbid, according to the El Nacional report.

Gotta love the Tigers going out and getting proven bat Victor Martinez. I'd be more excited if he could still take on a full load behind the plate so that we wouldn't have to watch Avila suck, but having him as a DH will undoubtedly give Miguel some protection in the lineup. I just hope the Tigers aren't done dealing here. Making this move means they're still trying to be relevant, but making just this move still leaves them with less fire power than they need to stay with the Twins, Sox, and any other wildcard contender in the AL. If Dombrowski really wants to show everyone this team is serious about making a run then they need to go out and get Jayson Werth to provide some power to the outfield or at least pick up a middle infielder that can get on base. Should be exciting to see who Dombrowski views valuable this off season.

Denard Is More Insane Than That Lions To The SuperBowl Guy

"I think our defense is one of the best defenses in the nation. I don't care what nobody say. We face them every day, and they just help us get better."

Is Denard a fuckin mental patient or something? Seriously, best in the nation bro? They got 65 hung on them by fuckin Illinois and you wanna go to bat for those clowns? I'd respect Denard a lot more if he told it like it was and started throwing those dipshits on the other side of the ball under the bus. Maybe they'd stop playing like Morgan Trent if Denard was getting up each week and telling the media they should be playing JuCo ball.

PS - Christ, you know it's really bad when I'd probably trade every guy on the defensive side of the ball for Morgan Trent.

Lions Fans Have Gone Completely Off The Deep End

This post goes out to Patriots superfan, Mister Dan Cos. I hope you listened clearly Dan cause like this guy said, your season is over, Tom Brady is over and Pearl Harbor ain't got shit on what the Lions are gonna lay on the Pats this week. We're gonna shellac ya, like the Tea Party did Obama. It's just a word of warning Mister Dan, Mister Cos. And like he said it doesn't matter if Stafford starts, if Shaun Hill starts, or if even I fuckin start this Thanksgiving, the bottom line is the Lions will be so god damn substantially victorious it's not even gonna be funny. I suggest not even watching Dan, cause your beloved New England Paaah-tri-click-ots, are going down. Wow that throat thing he did was weird, annnnd...we're done.

Actually we're not. Stick with me, I'm gonna come up with something really good here. The Patriots and Dan are gonna be, they'll be, ah, wishing, ah, stick with me! Got it. They'll be eating so much god damn turf they won't want turkey and something about John Madden and crazy Patrick Roy neck bob and then grrrrr, grr, grr, grrrrr, yeah, grrrr. Annnnd...now we're done.

Cowboys Give It To The Lions 35-19

Yesterday afternoon the season finally got away from the Lions. Even great, wonderful, completely non-Lion type things like Nick Harris' punt turned to complete shit as they mutated into points for the other team. Absolutely nothing ever goes right with this team and nothing WILL ever go right with this team. I've basically come to the conclusion that it's just something we're all gonna have to deal with. I don't mean to be morbid but I honestly think that until William Clay Ford bites the big one we'll keep getting shit on by this black cloud like Charlie Brown.


Again the refs did the Lions no favors, but before anyone starts bitching lets consider that in the end it didn't really matter. Sure, Suh's hair pull on Barber resulted in a first down and an eventual score, and Bryan McCann definitely stepped out of bounds on his punt return for a touchdown, but the Lions didn't show up at all in the second half of this game.



I'm way more pissed at them for playing uninspired football than I am at the officials for screwing the pooch on a couple of calls. And even though Delmas tried his best to sell his strip of Barber as a 98 yard TD the other way, the repay clearly showed Barber was down before it came out. No grip there.


The real glaring deficiencies in this one were the putrid running game and the downfield passing game which was nonexistent except for a few Burleson completions. Best continues to disappoint while battling injuries and I for one am completely shocked at how ineffective he has been. I thought his speed would translate exceptionally well in the NFL and that the Lions would eventually learn to run a screen pass like every other fuckin team in the league. NOPE. I really hope it's the injuries holding him back and not his lack of desire or NFL talent. If this is all we're gonna see from Best in the future we're fucked six ways to Sunday, cause that pick is the one Detroit absolutely can't afford to miss on.

Things aren't fixin to get any better come Thursday when the Lions are gonna get stuffed harder than the Thanksgiving turkey by the Brady Bunch. The Pats are one of the most professional and systematic organizations in the business and should carve up the Lions with surgical precision.


PS - Calling that Kitna bootleg was fuckin cold blooded. I was actually happy for him though cause I thought he was still in a coma from this hit 4 years ago. Congrats on being relevant again Jon.

Dramatic Eagle?

Someone just sent me "Dramatic Eagle", but I think it's more like "Someone Just Slipped It In His Butt Eagle"

This Is What I Feel Like After Watching The Lions/Cowboys

Roy Williams Gets On Millen's Good Side

If Matt Millen remains Public Enemy No. 1 in Detroit, Roy Williams might be a close No. 2. Williams, the former Lions receiver, praised Millen for doing “a great job” as Lions general manager in a radio interview today, complimented Millen’s drafting acumen and blamed the organization’s troubles during his 4 1/2 seasons in Detroit partially on the offensive line.

“That’s coming from a guy who checked out of here, and he never wanted to be here,” Lions center Dominic Raiola said. “I don’t even think he’s the top receiver in Dallas anymore. So if he wants to throw shots, we can throw shots back, too. Whatever, he went to Dallas -- pretty much what I’m saying, Roy’s a front-runner. I mean, you want to talk (stuff) about us, that’s what I’m going to give you.” During an interview on WXYT-FM (97.1)’s “Stoney and Bill Show," Williams was asked about Millen’s comments praising former Lions coach Rod Marinelli during Thursday night’s NFL Network broadcast of the Bears-Dolphins game. Marinelli, the Bears’ defensive coordinator, coached the Lions’ 0-16 season. “I think Millen did a great job of putting a good football team together,” Williams said. “I think we had all the pieces. I don’t think we had it internally, as far as offensive linemen -- a good, solid base for the quarterback. But skill positions, I think we were set. But it just didn’t work out. If anybody else was to play GM on those years that he had those picks, I mean, most of those picks, you would take the same people.”

The Lions went 31-84 in Millen’s tenure as general manager, and Millen presided over some of the biggest draft busts in franchise history. He took quarterback Joey Harrington No. 3 overall in 2002 and famously drafted receivers with first-round picks in 2003-05. Raiola scoffed when the subject of Millen’s draft record came up today. “Mike Williams has a resurgence in his career after losing all that weight and getting a shot in Seattle, which is great for him, but he was 270 pounds when he was here,” Raiola said. “We took Joey Harrington, who’s not even playing football anymore. We took Charles Rogers, who’s out of football. Andre Johnson was the next pick. We can go on and on.

Ohhhh, Roy. Just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could ya? I never usually side with Raiola on anything, but in this circumstance he actually seems like the sane composed one. Roy can't honestly say that he thinks Millen did a good job while in Detroit? I mean you played with these guys Roy! You watched Mike Williams balloon to 270 pounds, you watched Chuck Rogers blow 'er day until his bones turned to ash, and you had a first row seat for every act of the quarterback tragedy that played out in Detroit. How in HELL, can you say it was the offensive lines fault?

You guys weren't even remotely close to being a solid team. Blaming the O-line, which was terrible mind you, is like blaming the roof for collapsing after an electrical fire torches an entire house. Yeah it didn't hold up but look at everything else going on around it. For Roy to imply that the "skill" positions played up to par is the furthest thing from the truth. Everybody sucked ass, especially the skilled positions. The only difference between you and the rest of the team is that the skilled positions should've been the ones carrying this team cause so much emphasis was put on them in the draft. If anyone failed it was you. Just because you happen to be the best of the worst to come outta the "Millenium" you think you have the right to shoot your mouth off?

Roy here's what's up. You sucked in Detroit and will only be remembered for your first down celebrations, you suck in Dallas and are getting outplayed by a rookie and an undrafted dude from Monmouth College, and the Lions would still make the deal to get rid of you 100 times outta 100 cause it meant we got Pettigrew or "notMichaelOher" as I like to call him, and were able to dump your pass dropping ass.

Coming Up To Bat Song - Kid Rock "Born Free" Live @ American Music Awards

I've got a woody the size of the Ren Cen after watching this thing.

Morning Wood with Rosie Jones

No time to talk today. Meet Rosie Jones. Search Rosie Jones. Love Rosie Jones.

Quick congrats to some friends who got married this weekend too.

Yep, Morning Wood and Weddings. Go together like PB + J.

Timberjacks Win WSFL Super Bowl Gets U 2 Monday

Enjoy the weekend bitches, I'm off to North Carolina to play beer die. Oh, and Daves getting married too. Peace out!

Rod Marinelli Is The Best Coach Millen Knows. Wait, WTF!?

I'm blown away by the amount of times Millen continues to put his foot in his mouth. You'd think he would tip toe around giving praise to anyone associated with the Lions. Nope, dude just really said 0-16 Rod Marinelli is the best coach he's ever been around. And he played for Joe Paterno and Tom Flores. Jesus.

Northwestern Playing At Wrigley Is Getting Ridiculous

We have a last-minute change to the Northwestern-Illinois football game at Wrigley Field. The only way points can be scored in the East end zone is on a punt return, a defensive TD or a safety. After mounting concerns about the cramped East end zone, the Big Ten in conjunction with the two schools announced Friday that the West end zone will be used as much as possible on Saturday.

Here's a recap of the new rule changes:

-All offensive plays will head toward the West end zone, including all extra points and all overtime possessions.

-All kickoffs will be kicked toward the East end zone.

-After every change of possession, the ball will be repositioned for the offense to head toward the West end zone.

-As a result of a coin toss held by the conference office Friday morning, Illinois will occupy the West team bench in the first half and Northwestern will occupy the West team bench in the second half and for all overtime periods.

-The only way points can be scored in the East end zone is on a punt return, a defensive touchdown or a safety.

This is getting absurd. First off, I just wanna say that playing games in venues that weren't design to hold them is fuckin stupid. Sure, the Cold War hockey game between MSU and UofM back in 2001 was sweet for a number of reasons mostly being because we'd never seen something like that before. Now it seems like every two days they're planning something else. Before you know it the Wings will be facing off with the Sharks in an actual shark tank. The Cold War was also legit because there were 75,000 people there, which at the time was the largest crowd attending a hockey game ever. I don't care if you're a hockey fan or not, that's pretty badass. But now you're expecting me to get excited about Northwestern playing in front of 42,000 instead of the normal 47,000 that Ryan Field holds? Why don't we have them play at Spies Field in Menominee in front of a 200 person crowd there for a Pop Warner game while we're at it? Shit's stupid. Finally, I think the real reason the Cold War peaked people's interest was because it was a game that is universally played indoors, being played outside in the elements. People wanted to see how the wind and weather conditions would affect players who don't normally deal with them. Watching NW play in the same weather that they would play in down the road in Evanston doesn't do anything for me.


Now that I'm done bashing on this game, let me tell you I was also 100% gonna watch it because I wanted to see someone get destroyed by this wall that is 6 inches off the back of the endzone. But now they're taking that from me too. Now there's no chance in hell I'm watching these ass clowns drive towards the West each possession like a backyard football game where the yard is sloped. Probably gonna use one of those whistling Nerf footballs too. Fuckin amatuer hour.

Worst Logo of All Time - 1927 Detroit Tigers

Sgaff has been real productive at work today. He just sent me a link to the worst 10 sports logos of all time. Whose alone at the top you ask? Well, it's none other than the 1927-28 Detroit Tigers and you better believe I'm getting this shit tattooed on my back. Looks like a four year old drew this.

C.C. Brown Makes List of Worst 100 Players of All Time

C.C. Brown, checked in at No. 90 on Jeff Pearlman’s ranking on deadspin.com of the bottom 100 players ever. “I mean, I really don’t give a (bleep) about it,” Brown said. “It is what it is, man. (Bleep) that list. Whoever said it, you can tell them I said (bleep) their list and (bleep) them, too.” Brown, who lost his starting safety job this year to rookie Amari Spievey, was one of two current Lions on the list, along with linebacker Bobby Carpenter (No. 98). Of Brown, Pearlman writes, “As the joke goes, C.C. stands for ‘Can’t Cover.’ Some players manage to find work no matter how poorly they play. Here’s Exhibit A.”

Brown was asked how much his one season in the spotlight of New York played into Pearlman’s ranking. “I mean, bottom line, I should have never took my (butt) to New York,” said Brown, who was booed by Giants fans in his return to New York earlier this year. “The scheme wasn’t right for me. The atmosphere wasn’t right for me. I’m not one of those guys that need to be on a big-market team. I need to be on a small, low-key team without all the media attention. It was just a bad choice on me to go there. “It took me out of my character, being around the cameras and all that. I’m not one of those guys; I’m a shy guy. I don’t need to be around the cameras and all that. I just like to come in, do my job and then leave back out.”

And one other thing about the list:

“They’re going to put who they want on that list,” Brown said. “There’s a bunch of guys out there that’s so-called supposed to be the man, but they’re sorry as (bleep), but they ain’t going to put them on that list because that’s probably one of their guys when they were coming out. To the guy that got that list, he can kiss my (butt). Quote that.”

How is Raiola not on this list?

MVP! MVP! MVP! Oh Wait, Kobe Plays For The Other Team?

The Palace was filled with chants of MVP last night as the Stones took on the Lakers. The only major concern was that the home crowd was referring to Kobe Bryant and not one of the "Motown Malcontents" which has 5 guys averaging between 13-15 per night. To make matters worse, this overt slap in the face on behalf of the Detroit faithful comes on the heels of the Pistons being 4-8 and having a major power struggle between players and coaches. It's been well documented that the Pistons have a severe lack of talent and coaching prowess. In the first 12 games Tayshaun Prince has gotten into multiple squables with coach Kuester over leadership and point guard of the future, Rodney Stuckey, has shown outright defiance when he pulled himself from a game and then got sat out the next one for what some might call insubordination. I'm almost at a loss of words for what is happening on the hardwood in the D but one thing I know for sure is that the team isn't gonna win this year and it's all a matter of who's left when it's said and done.

Coach K, and I mean Kuester not Krzyzewski, will be gone after Illitch takes over next year regardless of how bad or good things end up. At this point his only motivation is not looking like a shepherd who lost his flock, so that he can get another head coaching shot somewhere else. Piston vets like Prince and Hamilton have to want out. There is no future in a franchise that thinks you aren't a leader when there are no major pieces around you. So that basically leaves us with Charlie V, Ben Gordon, Rodney Stuckey, and a less than impressive Austin Daye. Personally, I don't want anything to do with any of these guys other than Gordon. I've always thought he was a starting shooting guard on any team in the league who has ice water in his veins, the only problem here being again that there isn't a team surrounding him. So that being said, we're basically left with a team of hacks who are all waiting for the dime to drop. The major problem being it probably won't until after this season once Illitch takes over, and in the mean time we're on the verge of turning into the Clippers, although having Chris Kaman doesn't sound that bad right now.


The end all, be all of this early season was when Phil Jackson called out the entire Pistons organization by saying, "It looks like some of their guys aren't playing hard right now". And that's the problem, we got a coach that realizes shit has hit the fan and only wants to hold it together for his future endeavours and a team that is completely lack of motivation. Recipe for a rough year as a Pistons fan.

PS - The Schwartz better be on his A game and keep Suh happy cause it looks like Phil Jackson is already recruiting him for next year.