Only The Lions Could Screw Up Getting Cheerleaders

Stacey Latona looked like a proud mother as she leaned forward in a corner stool watching 12 women ages 18-34 twirl, dance and pop silver pom-poms to the beat of "We're Not Gonna Take It." The Lions have been in Detroit since 1934, and they've never had cheerleaders. That's all about to change. Sort of. The Detroit Pride will make its debut in and around Ford Field on Sunday for the Lions home opener against the Eagles. They're not recognized as the Lions official cheerleaders. In fact, team officials and the Pride had to agree on a few rules of etiquette before the group was allowed inside Ford Field.

• They are not allowed to perform organized cheers.
• They cannot obstruct the view of fans.
• They are not allowed to take group photos with fans. Only two girls may appear in photos, so they plan to walk through Ford Field in rows of two.
• They cannot wear Lions logos or team colors. Although there is blue in their uniforms, it will not be "Honolulu blue."
The Pride will be like any of the other 60,000 fans, just differently.

"The Detroit Lions have no plan to bring on cheerleaders at this time," said Bob Raymond, vice president of business operations for Ford Field. The public gets its first glimpse of the Pride at the Eastern Market tailgate at 10:30 a.m. before they move to the Elwood Grill outside Ford Field around 11:30 a.m. The team will move into Ford Field to watch the Lions game against the Bears.

Man, I hope one of the rules is that they can't eat either cause if this is the best Southeast Michigan has to offer it's no wonder we haven't had a squad in 76 years. I'm all for bringing in some T&A to supplement the lack of wins but lets do this shit right for crying out loud. Half assing it like this is a terrible call, and now we'll probably have to sit here and listen to The Schwartz tell us it was the right one. I'm gonna get Follett's girlfriend J.P. on the phone and have her round up some hotties, cause if we don't hurry the Detroit Pride will be offering a spot to that 6 year old prude who wouldn't shake her ass.