Detroitnews.com - A man survived four hours in Lake Huron near Alpena today, clinging only to his cooler. The 46-year-old man was rescued by the U.S. Coast Guard off of Stone Port in Alpena after his 22-foot fiberglass fishing boat capsized around 10 a.m., said Nathan Mathis, Coast Guard petty officer. Authorities were alerted by another passenger in the boat who swam just under three miles to shore. "He said his buddy was still out there and that last thing he saw was him swimming toward the cooler," said Mathis. The rescued man did not have a life jacket and was found holding on to his cooler, Mathis said. He was conscious when rescuers arrived but suffering from hypothermia from the 60-degree water.
This is why coolers are probably the best invention of the last 100 years. I challenge you to name an inanimate object that could both save your life and also keep you buzzed for 4 hours why your buddy swims 3 miles for help. The only thing that would even come close to meeting these requirements would be a bag of Franzia but I'm pretty sure that it would sink to the bottom the second I start slapping the shit out of it.
PS - Just a heads up to anyone that might ever be in this situation with me in real life, you better call shotgun on that cooler cause there ain't no way I'm volunteering to swim 3 miles to shore if ripping back beers for 4 hours is an option.
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