Too Much Grease In Those Pants

SPARTANBURG, S.C. -- Deputies said that a drunken Spartanburg woman tried to steal a sandwich by stuffing it down her pants. According to an incident report, 39-year-old Lori Turner ordered two sandwiches and two small coffees at the McDonald's restaurant on Hearon Circle on Sunday morning. The report said that when the cashier gave Turner the bag containing her sandwiches and turned away to prepare her coffees, Turner took one of the sandwiches out of the bag and stuffed it down the front of her pants. The reports said that Turner then began shouting at the cashier, demanding a free sandwich because she had been shorted one.

An employee at the restaurant called 911, the report said. It said that the arriving deputy could hear Turner shouting profanity at the cashier and demanding another sandwich. It said that the deputy ordered Turner outside and noticed a large grease stain on the front of her pants. It said that when the deputy confronted Turner about the stolen sandwich, she denied taking it. When another deputy showed up to search Turner, the woman pulled the sandwich out of her pants and put it on the hood of the deputy's cruiser, the report said. Turner was charged with public disorderly conduct.

So it's easier to steal from a bank in Manhattan than a McDonalds in South Carolina. Lori should have slid that bag back across the counter with a note that read "give me all your mcchickens and mcdoubles, don't be a hero". Instead she does the honorable thing, stuffs a greasy sandwich down her pants, and plays the you fucked up my order card. Their accuracy percentage has to be no higher than 83%. Is it so wrong to believe that maybe they shorted Lori a sandwich? Even when I order my trifecta (mcchicken, mcdouble, and small fry), I still open my bag right in front of their face just to insult the fuck out of them. They can't spit in my food at that point, right? Point being is that I'm shocked that McDonalds called Lori's bluff, and Mase needs to be worried that Burger King might sue his ass after they catch wind of his soda stunt all across the state of Michigan.