Jmase was pounding some Dove chocolates the other day and started rattling off the quotes from fat chicks that they put on the inside of the wrapper. I guess they are supposed to make fat chicks feel less bad about getting fatter or something but I think they're hate speech. Anything that is telling girls it's okay to let themselves go just doesn't sit right with me and I won't sit idly by and let it happen. After a few of these quotes I decided enough was enough and came up with my own weekly post entitled "Monday's Advice From Fat Chicks". It's basically a how-to guide to stay thin. If you just live the opposite of what this fat army is saying then you should be good to go and have some rich dude ready to marry you in no time. But be warned, if you take this advice literally you're gonna end up destroying an entire cheesecake and crying your lonely ass to sleep in a tub of haagen dazs.
So, if you're a fat chick and have advice send it my way. Or if you're just walking passed a Weight Watchers meeting and overhear some fork lift candidate raving about how she can eat a million of these little chocolates cause they're fat free then send it my way too.
This week's advice is for any ladies who are pushing four hundo.
"Life does have do-overs."
Tru that sista, it's called gastric bypass surgery.
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