New Day, Same Old Shit

I don't even know where to start after this abortion of a series. To put out an effort like that over a four game stretch, against a team that's 20 games under .500 is some amateur hour shit. I mean I was already at my breaking point after Saturday's third straight loss but when Ryan Rayburn ran through the fuckin center field wall and let Peralta score an inside the park home run during Sunday's 7-2 loss I just about shat myself. If Leyland isn't gonna rip these guys a new one then I will. It's like they're intentionally trying to make me look like an ass here. How the hell am I supposed to talk shit to Sox and Twins fans about this team being legit when they look like a bunch of monkeys staring into the sun trying to fuck a batting helmet. It's not even like the Indians are fuckin trying either. They paraded a lineup out there that had six guys batting .200 or less on the season. Fuckin six! Coming into this series I would've put my left nut on the line that the Mudhens could take 3 outta 4 against these clowns. But no, the Tigers let a Sizemore and Choo-less Indians scalp the shit outta them.

I guess I'd be less pissed about this if it wasn't part of a glaring pattern with these Tigers. The second they catch a whiff of first place their balls shrivel back up inside of them like George Costanza after a dip at the Hampton's. It's time to grow a set and take control of the division for a fuckin change. And it's about time the vast majority of Detroit fans stop letting them off the hook for being mediocre, too. I know I've done it in the past but the bullshit stops now. I'm done. I'm done defending shitty, clutchless baseball. If all you want is a team that's gonna flirt with the playoffs then by all means be happy with what you got and keep telling me that they're gonna put it together. But don't come crying when it's all said and done and you're stuck holding your dick in your hand just like after last year's game 163.

It comes down to this. With the exception of Mags, Miguel, and Boesch this team can't hit shit. And it's no secret. That's the way this team was put together. Inge, Avila, Santiago and a rookie Austin Jackson ain't gonna give you shit at the plate cause they're shitty hitters. Damon is a guy that some might say needs to deliver a bit more but he's actually putting up the numbers I thought he would so he ain't the scape goat either. I'm laying this one on everyone. It's just a bunch of guys out there being who they are. Which is average baseball players. I don't see a dominant ace in Justin Verlander. There I said it. Guy is hittable more days than not. I don't see Porcello catching hitters off guard and when he does he isn't consistent. Bondo can't get outta the first inning half his starts and the revolving door at the end of the rotation is spinning so fast I'm starting to get nauseous. Guillen looks straight geriatric at times and Laird can't even throw out the trash anymore. It's embarrassing.

But it's the way this team was put together that I fault mostly. You got a lineup with absolutely zero pop from the infield. Take out Miguel and you simply don't have the fire power to make anything happen. It's blatantly obvious just how inept this team is when the big three go quiet for a series and we're only able to put up 8 runs in 4 games. Just ain't gonna cut it. I hope I'm wrong and everyone comes back with their pitchforks when we make the playoffs, but I rarely am.

The real kicker here is that if the Tigers had a working cock and balls, this division is just begging to be fucked good. We should at the very least be up 5 games on any other team at this point. Even win just a few of those road games and you're looking at teams in the rear view mirror right now. Instead we drop a Cleveland steamer all over the Old English D and not only let Chicago add to their lead but now Minnesota has crawled back even with us. It's like we wanna make this shit as hard as possible. Well Tigers, good luck slaying two dragons instead of one. At least we have Valverde the fire breathing closer on our side.