"Ladies and Gentlemen,
I woke up this morning after a night of little sleep in a sweat. Since my fever is still peaking I'm going to work from home today. Please call me if you need anything I will have my computer next to me.
Thanks,
Jason"
This email is from the biggest pussy I know, my coworker and office mate Jason. I fucking hate him with the fire of a 1000 burning suns. Sorry, but I do not need to know that you were sweating all night, any more than you need to know that right now my ovaries feel like someone is jackhammering them with a butcher knife and I can hardly sit up straight.
On top of this asshole's email this morning, I then had to put up with a plea request from MMase to keep this blog rolling today.
"Matt: i can't funtion"
Ah yes... you can't spell either.
xoxo,
e$
And a fine job you did e$. Two posts by 5pm and one of them has an oversized picture that doesn't work. Brilliant.
ReplyDeletePS - You should really get that ovary thing checked out. Gross.
Steve's going to be pissed. This is the same letter MMase keeps giving him every 3 days while Steve goes nuts at their job. Where did you guys BOTH pull this sick email format from? About.com?
ReplyDeleteActually, this is pretty close to the email I sent except I didnt start mine with Ladies and Gentlemen. That's fuckin weird. But hey sounds like the bug is going around.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, what's more shocking here is the set of balls on John Falls. I know I should've thrown him under the bus with e$ in my first comment. How does a guy who "promised", and I use that term loosely with him now, to write a Tigers' article yesterday afternoon have time to post in the comment section? I had a fever of 101.5and still managed to write a 1000 word Bertuzzi peice. Shit, if JBS ever goes big time, and I doubt it will with slackers like JF on board, he's gonna get a smaller share than Marcum who bailed as our Pistons writer a year ago to go coach 6th grade girls soccer.
Oh look, here comes the B61 crosstown now. SHOVE!
And I know I spelt piece wrong. It's one of those autofix words like receive that I've learned to type incorrectly everytime cause Word will fix it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. I thought you were joking when you asked me to report about sports on this site... I didnt realize we did that anymore. I thought we were trying to make this the next Tosh.O...
ReplyDeleteE$, we don't have to take this. Lets start our own site. How bout we just document bmases life in the competitve eating circuit? You provide the indepth details and I'll do the color commentary. Boyeatsworld.com work?
pretty sure i just peed my pants laughing.
ReplyDeleteSure to be a great site I'm sure. BMOC is the NY Mets of competitive eating. And how long you gonna leave that blank picture up there? Nevermind, I fixed your shitty post for you. You're welcome.
ReplyDeleteCongrats everyone! Most comments on a story ever! Unfortunately, instead of interested readers, its just us.. Bummer. But still sweet.
ReplyDeleteHaha, this is embarrassing.
ReplyDeleteAnyone out there????????????????
ReplyDelete