It's pretty obvious that missing this cruise is gonna be one of those things you tell your grand kids about. Like passing on tickets to Woodstock or something. Just four solid days of nonstop music, sunshine, and more STDs than you could shake a dick at. I mean think about it, you've got the entire shady acres trailer park pretending their P-Diddy for the weekend, smashing Bud Heavys, and fucking like bunnies in the hottub on the lito deck. Plus everybody knows cruise ships are giant petri dishes that brew up new superhuman diseases which are immune to modern medicine. Rumor has it that on the third day, Uncle Kracker started an airborne outbreak of herpes that swept clean through the ship.
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