MONTPELIER, Vt. — A former Vermont man who claimed he bit into a Burger King sandwich and found an unwrapped condom has settled his lawsuit out of court, his lawyer said today. The owner-operator of the Rutland restaurant says forensic analysis of the object and surveillance video prove it didn't originate in the Burger King. "That was, from our side, pretty conclusive," said Joseph Zirkman, vice president and general counsel for Carrols Restaurant Group Inc., of Syracuse, N.Y. "They agreed to drop their claim and we agreed to drop our counterclaim. The parties agreed to pay their own legal costs, so you can draw your own conclusions." Hartless was a student at Green Mountain College. He claimed he bit into a Southwestern Whopper and found a condom, which he said caused him "sustained pain and suffering, vomiting, nightmares, mental and emotional distress" and medical expenses. "The lawsuit has been resolved upon terms acceptable to each of the parties, and those terms are confidential," McLaughlin said.
This dude needs to stop acting like having a condom touch your body is the worst thing in the history of the world. Yeah I haven't worn one in 5 years and they smell nasty and put a stranglehold on your dick, but if the thought of one causes you suffering, vomiting, nightmares, and mental and emotional distress then I'm guessing you need to get out of the sex game all together. To be honest, I'd probably have a hard time differentiating between a condom and a pickle when I eat my whopper anyway. (Insert gay joke here). And if being near a condom meant a multi million dollar lawsuit then every sorostitute across the nation would be rolling in dough.
PS - Who orders a Southwestern Whopper anyway. Oh, this guy.
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