Sunday Edition: Morning Wood w/ Matthew Stafford

"Soon after the trouble of those days, the sun will grow dark, the moon will no longer shine, the stars will fall from heaven, and the powers in the universe will be driven from their courses. Then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky; and all the peoples of earth will cry in fear as they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. He will send out his angels with a mighty trumpet blast and they will gather his chosen from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other."

- God, referring to Matthew Stafford, October 31st 2011

You Know What Penn State Has That Michigan Doesn't?

During the game the announcer asked the question, "You know what Penn State has that Michigan Doesn't?" and it got me to thinking. A lot of things actually...

A field goal kicker, that old man smell, a student section that actually makes noise, a fire crotch playcaller, adult diaper dispenser in the locker room, a screen pass, white pom-poms, herpes, a D-coordinator, and an inexperienced QB who had all god damn day to throw the ball. Just to name a few.

Most Frustrating Moment of the Game: Rich Rod Having to Tell Denard that the Play Clock Was Still Running

Man, I feel for Rod, I really do. Having to remind your starting QB that the play clock is still running as he takes all day to call an audible and then blows a timeout is straight brutal. But none the less, Rich picked the ingredients he wanted to cook this meal with and the chef is the one that feels the heat. I hope his kids don't make too many friends in Ann Arbor cause he's toast.

Get It Off Me!

The Florida dance team was seriously devoid of spirit after Dinosaur Debbie got a bit too excited and ate Brittany.

It's Always Boobie In Philadelphia

Devito is the creepiest/funniest dude on the planet.

Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wife, & Hide Your Husband, Cause Iowa Rapin' Everybody Up In Here

Watching MSU's national title hopes go up in smoke is a great treat in addition to the 75 Reese's peanut butter cups i've eaten today. Happy Halloween everyone, what are you going as? State went as a national title hopeful.

PS - C. L. Rucker came into the game at the 8:20 mark in the second quarter, about the same time as Iowa's third string running back started getting mop up duty.

Week 8 NFL Picks

Last week was pretty decent as I went 8-6 and came out 20 bucks ahead. I'd obviously like to make more money than that so this week I'm gonna do the same 10 on each game but then I'm throwing last weeks winnings on the lions game cause that -2.5 point spread is a joke. The Lions are gonna win this one by 13+, I guarantee it. Lions Bumaya! Here are the rest of the winners in case you're interested in making money.

San Francisco(At London) -2 Denver

Jacksonville +6.5 @ Dallas

Detroit -2.5 vs Washington

Green Bay +6 @ NY Jets

St. Louis -3 vs Carolina

Miami +1.5 @ Cincinnati

Kansas City -7.5 vs Buffalo

Tennessee +3.5 @ San Diego

Tampa Bay +3 @ Arizona

Oakland -2.5 vs Seattle

New England -5.5 vs Minnesota

New Orleans -1 vs Pittsburgh

Houston +5.5 @ Indy

Armando Galarraga Receives Medal of Reasonability from Jon Stewart

They've done it. Someone please call 911 cause I've gotta follow through on my word and shoot myself in the face. The Tigers have official become the most humane team in professional sports. With Brandon Inge winning the MBL Man of the Year, Armando Galarraga getting the Medal of Reasonability, and Jeremy Bonderman being named the nicest guy in Major League Baseball by Ron Gardenhire, I think we should officially change our name from the Tigers to the Pussy Cats. I can hear the opposing chants now, kitty litter, kitty litter!

Brett Favre And His Weak Ass Ankle Have Nothing On This Nascar Dude

Brett Favre's pussy ass will probably sit it out this Sunday but I guarantee you that this guy will be decked out in Long John Silver gear come next race. But don't get it twisted, deadly crashes and shit like this is the only reason Nascar will ever get a mention on this blog.

Iguana Farting Gets U 2 Monday

I had an iguana as a kid and like every other animal I've ever owned, I named him after a Detroit athlete. Sergie never did anything sweet like this though.

Best Halloween Costume this Year: Little Ron Washington

This costume is sweet as shit but if this kid isn't willing to snort a few lines of coke to make this legit then it's all for nothing.

It's JP Friday or the Day Formerly Known as Follett Friday

I told you last week that I was gonna change Follett Friday's to JP Fridays and I'm a man of my word. In honor of Halloween weekend, here's JP dressed as a sexy pirate.

The '89 Mets, Managed by Dewey B

Was stalking chicks on the book the other day and saw that someone tagged me in an old school T-ball picture. I'm back row, third from the left and I was an absolute RBI machine. Our best player though was probably Anthony Gressick on the far left who went on to play major league ball. But shit, the real reason I can't stop laughing at this picture is because of Ali Champeau doing her best Doris Murphy impersonation back row, second from the right.



PS - Our greatest accomplishment though was that the two chicks in front of me blossomed into these smokeshows.

How Fuckin Excited Are You For Jahvid's Website To Drop?

You gotta get to jahvidbest44.com right fuckin now. I've been staring at the countdown ticker and just bumping to this sick beat all morning. Even caught Steve nodding along in the cubicle next to me. 2 days, 11 hours, 33 minutes, and 10 seconds till blast off bitches.

PS - I will 100% trick this dude into being my friend just like I did with Follett.

Brandon Inge Named MLB Man of the Year

Freep - Tigers third baseman Brandon Inge this morning was named the Marvin Miller Man of the Year and will be honored with donations of $50,000 to the charities of his choice. The award is named for the founding executive director of the Major League Baseball Players Association and is awarded to the player whose on-field and off-field performances most inspire others to higher levels of achievement. Inge displays as much passion to give back to others as he shows on the diamond as one of the game’s most sure-handed infielders, according to a news release from Major League Baseball. Inge, 33 and a 10-year veteran of the Tigers, works closely with C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital in Ann Arbor. He frequently visits C.S. Mott and other local hospitals to form lasting bonds with children and their families. In 2007, Inge and his wife, Shani, made a $100,000 donation to Mott Children’s Hospital to help fund a pediatric cancer infusion center. Inge finished the season with 127 hits, including 28 doubles, in 144 games.

If this city chalks up another win in the moral victory column I'm gonna shoot myself in the face.

Morning Wood with Cheryl Cole

Oh blueskiers, it feels good to be back. Let me start this post by commending John Falls for his new Wood format and daily recaps. Having said that, I like a little less talk and a lot more action.
This is Cheryl Cole (formerly Tweedy), she's hot and newly single. She's in a British girl band called Girls Aloud.
I have a newfound obsession with Brits after watching that David Beckham video on repeat yesterday...is a peen a muscle? I'd hum happy birthday to that shiz er'day of the week.
Happy Friday!

'That don't smell like cigarettes... That's weed."

Newy Scruggs is my new favorite reporter. However, I feel bad for the people he's calling out here. Can you imagine, you're about to go see an epic world series game between pitching greats Tim Lincecum and Cliff Lee, so you get to the stadium way early so you can smoke that J that you rolled the day before for this very special occasion and be in the perfect viewing mood, when suddenly there's a news reporter with a camera in your face screaming "I smell weed! That's weed!" I'd be paranoid as shit. It's hard enough for me to ride the subway and go to work smelling like Cheech and Chong, let alone being called out on the news...

PS. I love how the woman anchor tries to down shift into actual sports reporting and the dude shakes it off and makes it about how terrible New York is. He's right though, people do spit on you here. If someone was ratting me out for minding my own business while I smoked a bowl in a public space, you better believe spit would be flying...

Lions Blacked Out For First Time This Year After Failing To Sell Out

The Detroit Lions failed to sell out Sunday’s home game against the Washington Redskins by today’s 1 p.m. deadline, meaning the game will be blacked out in local television markets. The team said that about 8,500 tickets remain. The game will not be televised in the Detroit, Lansing, Saginaw/Flint nor Toledo TV markets. Last season, four of the team’s home eight home games were blacked out. This is the first blackout in three home games this season.

Pesonally I'd rather be blacked out


than a sell out any day of the week, and twice on Blursday. But that's just me.

Audrina Patridge's Mom Wants To Tell You What Happens When One Door Closes

Gotta be one of the best drunken rants I think I've ever heard. Audrina's mom just said more words in this 5 minute rant than Audrina has in her entire life and if she said that Audrinas "got it in her" one more time I think I would've exploded all over my keyboard. She even got all philosophical on us with her "It's all part of the journey. This ain't no journey" line. Truer words have never been said.

You & Your Johnson

Despite the title of this video it's totally safe for work. We'll, on second thought you might wanna turn it down a bit at the :22 second mark when he sings "you, your girl and your Johnson".

David Beckham Shirtless For The Lady Blueskiers. This Prank Is Pretty Funny

Stones Blow Lead, Lose Opener to the Nets 101-98

If last night was any indication of how this season is gonna go, then count me out. John Kuester let the Stones blow a 4 point lead with less than a minute left to the Nets who didn't win a game until mid December last year. Totallyfuckinbelievable.

Might as well just bust out the fuckin teal jerseys.

PS - The Jay-Z being a minority owner joke has totally blown up in my face. I've got like 50 emails already from people calling me a retard. So to clear things up, I know what minority owner means. It has nothing to do with the fact he is black but rather that he doesn't own a majority of the team. That's the fuckin punch line. Jesus, if I have to stop and explain every joke to you guys it's gonna be a long end of the week.

Morning Wood with Denise Richards

With Charlie Sheen being in the news all the time, basically all I can think about is how hot Denise Richards is. Every time they cut to Sheen's dumb mug shot, I think about covering Denise in champagne, Wild Things style. I could probably get over Nev Campbell being in my threesome if Denise Richards were there. She's a nut though right? I mean, did any one even see the show she had on E! awhile back? Fuckin' crazy. She's done a great job covering up those white trash roots though. Regardless, in an homage to Denise, here's the clip from Wild Things for your viewing pleasure. Maybe the greatest 3:40 in the history of cinema.

Coincidence that Charlie Sheen played Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn and Denise Richard's only viewable movie attempt was in "Wild Things"? I don't think so. Some things are just meant to be I guess. Like you, reading what happened yesterday...

- Dear sweet baby Jesus, did you dance like this baby when you were born in the manger? I'm guessing you didn't. But only because you didn't have a full rock band kicking ass during your delivery right?

-Kurt Warner, you've made like 7 come backs, won a Superbowl, shown you can be old and still sling it, and yet you feel the need to prove that you can out dance Bristol Palin on some lame ass show? Let it go man.

-As fast as Jay-Z is breaking down barriers, the NBA won't stop reminding him that he's still got a long, long way to go...

-And finally, we regret to inform you that Z. Follet has been put on IR for the rest of the season. No jokes here, just respect. Get well Z man.

Where's The Cat Sniper?

With the exception of lions and tigers, cats are the weakest animals on the planet. Seriously, cheetahs get shit on by every animal in the jungle and leopards are just tigers with a nasty case of depression. If you needed more proof that cats suck just check out this video of two cats with myotonia congenita. The whole thing is pretty stellar but if you have a short attention span be sure to fast forward to the :55 mark when the marble looking one touches that ball with its' nose and they both straighten up and fall over like they've been electrocuted. Fuckin awesome.

The Pain Train Placed on IR. Out Rest of the Season

The Lions placed linebacker Zack Follett on injured reserve Wednesday, ending his season with a neck injury. Follett was carted off the field after a scary helmet-to-helmet collision with defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul while covering a kick in the fourth quarter of an Oct. 17 loss to the Giants. He stayed overnight in a New Jersey hospital, and was scheduled to visit a spine specialist this week. The move clears room on the 53-man roster for cornerback Brandon McDonald, who the Lions claimed off waivers Wednesday from the Cardinals. McDonald played just two games with Arizona after being claimed off waivers from the Browns earlier this year. He did not have a tackle with the Cardinals, but had eight interceptions in his first three NFL seasons with the Browns.

Terrible news just came out that Joeyblueskies.com favorite Zack Follett will be placed on IR and out the rest of the season. His intensity and physicality will be missed, but I'm more disappointed about the delay in development this will cost him. Linebacker is probably our most shallow position and if we're gonna be legitimate contenders we'll need him to know the ropes come opening day next year. If there is any conciliation it's that he'll have JP to get him through the long, hard Michigan winter. Ha, long, hard.

How Racist is it That They Keep Refering to Jay-Z as a "Minority" Owner?

Am I the only one that is appalled by the fact that every time they mention Jay-Z as an owner of the New Jersey Nets they refer to him as a "minority" owner? It's not like they call Jerry Jones a "white" owner or William Clay Ford a "dipshit" owner. The fact that he is black has nothing to do with the fact that he only owns 1.5% of the team. The NBA is Racist.

JBS Movie Night: Detroit Pistons NBA Champs Part 1 - Kicking Off The Regular Season

It's kind of a shame that 7 years later we're still rolling with 3 of the 5 major pieces that made up this championship team and we're expected to miss the playoffs. The '04 team completely bought in and once they added Sheed they had every piece in place to wreak havoc on the NBA.

I earlier predicted the Stones to have a miserable year and win a max of 28 games, but even after being up in the first half against the Nets thus far I'm still only gonna set the over/under at 31 wins. T-Mac has bricked every shot he's thrown up and for some reason we keep going to Maxiel every trip down the floor even though we have Ben "Been There Before" Gordon on our team. Gonna be a long year.

We All Knew Kurt Warner's Wife Was Gay, Just Didn't Know He Was

It blows my mind that NFL Hall of Famers would do this show. You've reached the absolute pinnacle of sporting success, yet for some reason you feel the need to make yourself look like a complete jackass trying to do the tango, what gives? Warner just got the worst score in the history of the show and Jerry Rice did this same shit. Instead of being remembered as the greatest wideout to every live, he's gonna be the dude who compared being on DWTS to being in the Super Bowl. I mean I get that it's a given you get to fuck your dancing partner and I understand the desire to be the best as something after you've competed on such a high level for so long but for fuck's sake, be the best at mowing your lawn or buy a boat and start landing monster bass, don't go trading in your jersey for a sequined jumpsuit and then get bounced in the first round looking like some Jackson 5 reject. It ain't a good look.



PS - Warner and Rice are even more pathetic cause Stafford could bang every chick on this show by just flashing a smile.

Baby Gets Down With JC

Things like this are the reason I stopped going to church. They'll just let anybody in that door. I don't know who I'd be more afraid to sit next to, this 100 year old baby or the dude from my childhood who wore the Cooper hockey helmet and a full face mask cause he used to bite people? Can't believe my parents put me in that kind of danger. That guy was terrifying.

PS - Note to my parents: I might have been more into going to mass if we had flat screen tvs, a color guard team, and a sweet rock band like these lunatics. But playing Monday morning quarterback is always easier.

Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn At It Again

CBS's top-dollar "Two and a Half Men" star Charlie Sheen was found drunk and naked after trashing a New York hotel room early Tuesday morning, the Daily News reported. Police responded to a call for an intoxicated male and he was taken to a hospital "in the company of a female, unharmed," according to People.com. Sheen, 45, was removed from the scene for "for alcohol abuse and psychological evaluation" and was considered an "aided case," which means authorities helped him without arresting him. Sheen's publicist, Stan Rosenfield, was working overtime: "What we are able to determine is that Charlie had an adverse allergic reaction to some medication and was taken to the hospital, where he is expected to be released tomorrow," he said in a statement released to press.

I love how just being famous means you have a license to do whatever the fuck you wanna do. Like if you're in the mood to eat a bag of quaaludes, drink a bottle of scotch, and bang some hookers then go for it man. The world's your oyster, and don't worry because when you wake up butt ass naked in the hallway outside of the hotel room you just trashed, your publicist will just tell everyone you had an allergic reaction to some aspirin you took for a headache. All better. Oh, and being famous also means you can give your wife a black eye for Christmas and not go to jail, cause I'm pretty sure he did that too.

Morning Wood with Michelle Marsh

So some people say I suck. Some people think I'm the worst. Some people believe that I act inappropriately around other people's mothers, even though those MILF's were coming on to me and absolutely begging for it. Regardless, one thing I won't stand for is people who doubt my ability to follow up on promises I make here on Morning Wood. Remember last week when Lucy Pinder was profiled and I said that she had a girlfriend and everyone was like "Boo! Hiss! Liar!" and I said "Well fuck y'all, I'll show you guys!" and then I gave everyone the finger? Well here she is you jackals. Michelle Marsh. From the UK, busty as hell, and blond for all you brunette haters out there. I've even included a photo shoot WITH Lucy Pinder, just to prove how hot these two are for each other (This may be the tamest shoot between these two by the way, it's just my work computer can't handle explicit images... a little research should take you a long way...). Don't doubt me people. When it comes to hot chicks who enjoy being all over each other, I know what the fuck I'm talking about. And MILF's. I know about MILF's too. I'm no Steve though...

If doing something more than once is twice as nice, then take another look at what went on the old blog yesterday...

- So the weather yesterday was supposed to be the sequel to the November Gale that sunk the Edmund Fitzgerald, but it turned out to be more like Caddyshack II, completely unrelated to the first and way to hyped to possibly be any good.

- It looks like after a successful movie career, Johnny Five has made the jump to TV. Maybe if we got Steve Guttenberg and the Indian guy from "Short Circuit" to come and take a look at this camera, we could watch the rest of this hockey game.

- Do you love football? How about Barry Sanders? Yeah? YEAH? Well check out this article about Pavel Datsyuk, the greatest puck handler of all time, or as he is now called, The Barry Sanders of Hockey.

- I feel like this Giant Pumpkin drop could have been a scene from Home Improvement.

Is This What Happened To The Auto Industry In Detroit?

People have been clowning on the Detroit auto industry real hard the last few years since things bottomed out but Ford just made 1.69 billion this quarter, its largest 3rd quarter profit since 1990.

Update: This Shit's Weak

A major storm that brought the possibility of widespread damage and tornado touchdowns today petered out by the time it hit metro Detroit and turned out to be no big deal.You might call the forecast overblown – although weather experts say better safe than sorry. Wind gusts in some parts of west Michigan surpassed 70 m.p.h. earlier today. But the storm that some forecasters had compared to the gales of November – as in the storm that sank the Edmund Fitzgerald in 1975 on Lake Superior – were a relative whimper by the time they swept into metro Detroit.

This shit is totally weak. I doubt there were any dudes out wind surfing or building sand castles when the Fitzgerald went down. Every meteorologist on this story should be fired immediately for dishonoring the names of the 29 men who sank into the ruins of her ice water mansion.

The Legend Lives On

A powerful storm that is raking high winds, severe t-storms, and, yes, even wet snow in parts of the Midwest and South is headed towards Chicago. Meteorologists know this will be intense due to expected lowest central pressure of the low in western Ontario bottoming out in the neighborhood of 955-960 mb. This is a storm stronger than the infamous "Edmund Fitzgerald" storm in Nov. 1975 and an even stronger version almost exactly 23 years after that in Nov. 1998.

I've been playing this non stop since I heard this news. I hope this storms takes BMOC with it so we can hear that church bell chime one more time.

Imagine One Of These To The Face

Datsyuk and Wings Take Down Ducks with :12 Left

While watching the Wings and Ducks the other night I had sort of an epiphany. As I sat at home with my computer on my lap, I realized that I was absolutely geeked for another, what some would consider, insignificant regular season match up. With 82 games over a span of roughly 8 months it's hard to maintain peak interest even if you are a diehard. But for me it's really never been an issue. As the game rolled on it became more and more apparent why I get so damn into watching each of those 82 games. It's because day in and day out I have the privilege of watching one of the true wizards of professional sports, Pavel Datsyuk. He's the kind of athlete that only comes around a few times in your lifetime, the one who goes about doing things in a slightly different way than everyone else, a way that seems impossible to all others playing the same game. But somehow, game after game, shift after shift, Datsyuk makes the best in the world look foolish. The most impressive thing is that he beats people with both finesse and determination. In one play he'll take a man off the puck, start the rush, dish it at the opposing blue line and then bury it home when the puck comes back his way.

I literally think he might be the strongest on the puck player that I've ever seen play. And I know his numbers are comparatively nowhere near Barry Sanders, but watching him is almost like watching Barry. He just makes you say, wow. We should consider ourselves lucky to be in the presence of such greatness cause players this special don't come around all that much.

Morning Wood with Imogen Thomas

Let's see and if we can try and list Imogen Thomas's life acheivements shall we? Won the Miss Wales title (that's wales without the h, making it the place not the animal), was a contestant on Big Brother UK (that's the show on CBS that no one watches, but maybe should), and she's made a sex tape that's floatign around the web. It might not get her the Nobel Prize in literature, but honestly I'm happy with her work. See what else she's done here, and if you're really into it, start googling to find that tape... And then email it to me please?

Here's what happened yesterday while you were sleeping at your desk, wishing the cold hand of death would take you from your terrible job... Wait, was that just me?

- Everyone knows that a man with no arms cannot drive a car... except the guy with no arms apparently... I wonder if the guy from The Fugitive attended his funeral?

- Paranoia sweeps the nation. Some kids get busted for starting a black market pumpkin ring and suddenly people on the JBS staff want to shut down the office. Easy big fella, easy...

- A Florida sheriff, WHO'S A WOMAN, gets fired for doing crazy shit. Like women always do. My big question is why the hell did we give them guns AND the right to vote? I always thought it was one or the other...

- Finally, in our Texas weather report, bring an umbrella because it's going to be raining cats and dicks later...

NFL Network Does Countdown of Top 10 Lefty QB's, #10 Scott Mitchell

When this came on during the "classy" party that 151 was having last Saturday evening, we started making bets as to who #10 would be. I said Mike Vick but was pretty far off as he came in at like #5 or #6, which I think is bullshit cause Mitchell's career numbers are better than Vick and Mitchell never went to jail for fighting dogs. Anyway, #10 was none other than Scott "I forfeit high school games" Mitchell and hearing that shit really made my day. Best part was I got to watch a bunch of Lion highlights from the glory days. Mostly of Mitchell running outta the tunnel, but awesome non the less. What I remember most about Mitchell though wasn't his jump balls to Herman Moore or the crossing routes to Brett Perriman, but rather the fact that he was 6'6" and couldn't ever get an inch on a QB sneak. Just as big a Sally as there ever was.

Dude With Mind-Controlled Robotic Prosthetic Arms Wraps His Car Around A Tree And Dies. Shocking

An Austrian man who was the first in Europe to wear an innovative high-tech artificial arm has died after the car he was driving veered off the road and crashed into a tree. Christian Kandlbauer lost both arms in an electrical accident in 2005 but was able to live a largely normal life thanks to a mind-controlled robotic prosthetic left arm and a normal prosthesis in place of his right arm. The 22-year-old died on Thursday, said Andreas Waltensdorfer, a senior physician at a hospital in the southern city of Graz, where Kandlbauer had been in intensive care since Tuesday, the day of the crash. The cause of the crash remains unclear. Both Waltensdorfer and local police said Friday it was impossible to tell whether the accident was caused by problems with Kandlbauer's prosthetic arms.

Did they really just say the cause of death is still unclear? Well then, allow me to play Sherlock Holmes and fill everybody in. Could it be that this dude had two robot arms that were connected to his brain and steering the wheel of a car? Hmmm...just a thought. I mean I can't get my TV remote to work half the time and this robocop is out cruising around thinking nothing can go wrong? Well, let me tell ya, things CAN go wrong, a little rain gets into the elbow joints and the next thing you know you've short circuited while going 60 on the freeway. And...we're done.

Tom Brady Looks Like Mimi-Siku From Jungle 2 Jungle

Hey Pats, you better keep an eye on this guy before he starts eating your prize winning fish and tries to bone your partner's daughter.

The Lady Friend Can Expect Afternoon T-Storms

I will forever refer to my wood as afternoon t-storms.

IRS Busts a 4 & 6 Year Old for Selling Roadside Pumpkins

Idaho is making national news, but not necessarily in a good way. The Lewiston Tribune reported Friday that two officials from the Idaho State Tax Commission forced the children of Dan and Kami Charais to close a roadside stand selling pumpkins. The kids, 4- and 6-years-old, the parents told the paper, were selling the products to raise money for sports and other activities. The reason for the closure? An unnamed official with the tax commission said that even a roadside stand is required to obtain proper permits in order to do business in the state.

Just got off the phone with my mom and she was busting my balls pretty hard about how the IRS is gonna put me behind bars because i'm not paying income tax on the hats i've been selling. I told her to take a pill and chill out cause the IRS has way bigger fish to fry than some smut peddler who has 30 Jim Joyce shirts collecting dust in the corner of his bedroom. But two seconds later I come across this story and now I'm legitamately shitting my pants over here. If they'll bust a 4 and 6 year old over selling pumpkins them I'm straight screwed. I half expect to come home and have a bunch of suits sitting at my kitchen table waiting for me.

Does This Look Like a Florida Cop Whose Ex-Husband Posted Pictures of Her Putting a Gun in Her Mouth & Smoking Weed on Facebook? Cause It Is

TAMPA - The photos of veteran Deputy Lisa Latimer, posted to Facebook by her estranged husband, are shocking -- sitting in her uniform in a cruiser with a gun to her mouth, then a shot of her smoking what looks like a marijuana cigarette. Latimer also says male deputies sent his wife explicit cell phone pictures. "A lot of sexual harassing phone calls, emails, text messages things that would be considered inappropriate in anybody's circle," he explained.



Even after posting the photos, Latimer says he's not condemning the whole sheriff's office. "I don't think you should judge a department on the actions of a few individuals," he said. "But at the same time, there's a lot of things that need to be looked at down there." Latimer and his wife have had a difficult divorce featuring a domestic violence restraining order and Internal Affairs investigations over the discharge of Deputy Latimer's stun gun.





Could this guy be any more jealous? Seriously dude, your wife's getting gang banged by the entire precinct, deal with it. You had to know she was a freak that loves smokin the reefer and playing kinky Russian roulette before you ever put a ring on that finger. Don't go getting all pissy once she starts catching wood from anyone wearing a badge and shoots you with her stun gun.

Morning Wood with Lea Michele

So I don't know who this chicks is exactly, besides that she's from that show Glee. I know this because a) I saw it in the magazine where this picture was located and b) because she looks like a high school student with a large mouth (which means she should play a teenager who sings... what were you thinking?). I'm still not going to watch a show about high school choir that sings Lady Gaga tunes, but I may leave it on with the sound off just in case they have a wet t-shirt contest or something... here's the rest of the pics, check em (there are a few of some dude wearing a varsity jacket or some shit, that's not my thing, but I thought we should cater to a more diverse audience... again not my thing.... but not that there's anything wrong with that...)

Stop reminiscing about how hot the girls were in your high school and check out this weekend headlines:

-Check out JBS's new game picks... if you're feeling depressed, the results of our guessing may make you feel that much better... We might have to go back to letting the dog pick the winners...

-See Louis Delmas's response to players being fined for huge hits... We're starting to talk the talk, now lets walk the walk fellas...

-Long time Red Wings fan Orange Hat Guy has died... They're keeping his seat open in remembrance... of the first African American hockey fan...

- Lastly, Scott Mitchell is making questionable decisions as a high school football coach in Utah... How dare they question him? I saw a special this weekend on NFL network naming Mitchell the "#10 best left handed QB of all time"... Dude belongs in the Hall if you ask me...

Putting $10 Down On Each Game - Money In The Bank Bitches

Pittsburgh -3 @ Miami

Cincy +3.5 @ Atlanta

KC +9.5 vs Jacksonville

Tennessee +3 vs Philly

Washington +3 @ Chicago

NO +13 vs Cleveland

Baltimore +13 vs Buffalo

SF -3 @ Carolina

St Louis +3 @ TB

Seattle +6.5 vs Arizona

New England +2.5 @ SD

Denver -8 vs Oakland

GB +2.5 vs Minnesota

Giants +3 @ Dallas

The Real Reason I Traded Kenny Britt For Kyle Orton Was Because Of His Much Higher Propensity To Get In Club Fights

Tennessee Titans wide receiver Kenny Britt was reportedly involved in a club brawl early Friday morning in Nashville, Tenn. According to the report, the fight broke out at 1:45 a.m. in the bar area of Club Karma between Harold Pointer, 26, and Bradford Miser, 29. Witnesses told police that after Pointer and Miser fell to the ground, Britt got involved and punched Pointer. The Tennessean reported that Pointer said he went to the emergency room and got four stitches above his left eye. Because of the fight, the club closed down and Britt reportedly left before the police arrived. It was reported that Pointer said there is a "good chance" he will press charges against Britt.

This is how you run a fantasy football team folks.