Asked last week why Sheen chose Detroit to launch his month-long, 20-city tour his publicist Larry Solters said, "Why not?" Maybe his handlers thought that out in the boondocks, he'd get a soft reception. The show Saturday night at the Fox Theatre got off to an inauspicious start with a comedian so rambling and unhumorous that Sheen had to come out and ask that people stop booing and let the fellow finish. The energy picked up when the actor and his two "goddesses," miniskirt-clad, live-in girlfriends Natalie Kenly and Rachel Oberlin (aka Bree Olson) strolled out to a standing ovation. This was the charming, elegantly wasted, fast-talking Charlie we wanted to see. He had the goddesses burn his "Two and a Half Men" shirt, and he donned a Tigers jersey (with "Warlock 99" imprinted on the back), to great cheers. Alas, the good time didn't last long.
It was an evening of catcalls and cries of "loser!" but one fellow managed to be heard when he booed loudly during a brief lull when everybody else was silent. With lightning-fast timing, Sheen snapped, "I already got your money, dude!"
Some of the pre-recorded video bits were well-paced and funny, although the inclusion of "RPG," the short film Sheen wrote, directed and produced years ago was inexplicable. During the times Sheen had to speak and hold the audience's attention, things really fell apart. He was the reason the audience was there, they wanted to see their gruff, charming bad boy, the folk hero who never said "sorry," who told his boss to take his cushy job and shove it. Sure, over the years he never grew out of the Beverly Hills, rich brat persona but there was a self-deprecating charm underneath the caustic humor. Wasn't there?
Sheen's monologue was full of his usual poetic metaphors, pop cultural references and gruff egotism, but instead of lasting for the one or two minutes we were used to on TV, the piece went on and on, making the audience fidget and then explode in boredom and rage (the time between boredom and rage was frighteningly short). He was reduced to stop reading (yes, he was reading) and say, "Come on, let me finish...this is all leading to something!" when the boos became more insistent.
At one point, Sheen sat on a park bench answering questions from the audience (solicited from his website). After answering one or two, he repeatedly asked the audience, "What do you want me to talk about? Do you want me to talk about my car being stolen? And if it involved crack?" As the fellow behind me pointed out, don't ask if you can tell a story, just tell it. When the grumbling and boos from the audience rumbled continually through his "speech," Sheen complained, "Well we all can't talk at once!" like an irritated substitute teacher.
Then he tried to pull off a joke about Detroit's dwindling population —"Detroit, population 5,000...and it looks like all of you are here tonight!" — bad move. An already ugly mood turned darker. The show ended abruptly after a short rap by Dirt Nasty and a video of Snoop Dogg's much-vaunted "Winning" rap. The houselights came on and nobody came out to say goodnight.
I can't imagine anyone is shocked by this. I for one knew the second that Charlie Scheen announced he was gonna do an hour an a half long, one man show and open with Detroit that it would most likely blow up in his face. I mean as outrageous as his life is and as amazing as the nation's fascination with him has become, you still can't really ignore the fact he's not funny in the stand-up comedian sense. Like, in case you forgot he had writers on Two And A Half Men. And in case you forgot again, he was fired from that show. I highly doubt the two porn sluts he's banging got far enough in their acting classes to cover comedic timing, although them making out was universally the most enjoyed moment of the show.
Not to mention you send out some no-name opening act that sucks and gets everyone booing and going apeshit. Then when everyone in the crowd is bored as nails and booing you, you decide it'll be a good idea to fire back and make fun of Detroit's declining population and crack problem and then wonder why people were pissed. Combine all that with the fact that hard working Detroiters value their money and tickets were something absurd like 70 bucks and you're gonna have a crowd just looking to explode. #Losing. Duh
No comments:
Post a Comment