Dudes Who Look Like This Can Go Fuck Themselves

Seriously Ronaldo, what the hell is your problem dude? It's guys like you that have the Lady Friend reconsidering co-habitation with me every night she climbs into bed. You could probably take all the extra body fat on me and construct another entire human, and then Ronaldo comes strutting out like he's carved outta bronze. FML. Good thing humor is 100 times sexier than muscle cause otherwise I'd be straight screwed.