Saturday, April 30, 2011
Chara Just Murdering a Coke on the Bench
Chara was just so damn excited that Coke had finally found it's way to Slovakia. I can't wait for him to start destroying Big Macs between shifts once they get a McDonalds.
Gonna Draw Myself A Bubble Bath & Put This On Repeat. Look For A Complete Draft Evaluation Tomorrow
I can't sit here and listen to Mel Kiper tell me how Titus Young was the best player taken on day 2 any longer. I don't care if he turns out to be DeSean Jackson or Steve Smith. This pick was arrogant and irresponsible and the kind of thing that has hamstringed us for years.
Lions Select Doug Hogue (OLB Syracuse) with 157th Overall Pick
They just spoke to The Schwartz immediately following the pick and all he did was talk about Fairley, Young, and Leshoure. Sooooo I'm honestly thinking there's a strong possibility this Hogue guy doesn't even make the team, which is nuts considering how terrible we are at that position. I'm completely flabbergasted that they didn't take Greg Jones or C.L. Rucker with this pick. Whatever, I'm done caring for the next day or so. Here's the scouting report on Hoagies and grinders.
With his combination of size and speed, Hogue will draw some interest. He could be a good fit as a strong-side linebacker in a 4-3. He shows good sideline-to-sideline pursuit, but his instincts are average. Hogue started his college career as a running back and still is learning to play linebacker. He is more of a raw athlete than a football player at this point, but he flies around the field.
Hogue continued his development in 2010, showcasing improved awareness of the linebacker position. While he does not have tremendous size, he is extremely athletic and explosive, and has surprisingly good instincts for a player who so recently made a position change from running back to linebacker. Hogue could also be an impact player on special teams from the get-go. ... It wouldn't surprise me to see Hogue go somewhere around the fifth round of the draft.
Day 3 - I'm Back on the Horse
Lions on the clock!!! Hopefully we go after a TE with some big play return ability or maybe shore up that 4th WR spot. Could always use some more depth on the D-line as well. Lions Bumaya!
Pippa Middleton Crushing Dicks at the Royal Wedding
How far into this circus do you think Prince William realized he picked the wrong Middleton?
Roger Goodell Botches Natrone Means' Name
Don't really know why but this made me crack up. I think it was cause the "ohh, boo this guy" line reminded me of Darryl from the Office.
Friday, April 29, 2011
In More Go Fuck Yourself Detroit Lions News
Wow, are Mayhew and company trying to piss off the fan base? We've been a walking fuckin punch line that only drafts WRs and RBs for 10 years. Oh and we lost more games than anyone during that run mind you. So how do you distance yourself from the previous regime? I guess you go out and do the exact same shit. I mean I initially questioned the Best pick last year but was on board almost instantly. Mostly because I believe this coaching staff deserved a chance to make things work with a back that they chose. But the thunder and lightning comparisons we have in store tomorrow from the Schwartz are a line of bullshit I ain't buying. This was just another luxury pick in a long string of luxury picks. You'd think they'd know better by now.
Here are the details of the trade that landed us Mikel Leshoure
Seattle traded its 2nd-round pick, 5th-round and 7th-rd pick for Detroit's 3rd (75), 4th (107), 5th (No. 154) and 7th (205)
With that I'm off to the bar to drink away my sorrows and watch the Wings dick stomp the Sharks.
Anyone In The Greater Atlanta Area That Can Check On BMOC For Me?
gchat with BMOC...
Brian: lions traded up on the clock
me: yeah just saw that. Harris?
Brian: leshoure and im going to hang myself
me: I'd rather have Mallett than him
Brian: omg. nice knowing ya bro, tell mom this isnt her fault
Sent at 8:08 PM on Friday
I Wanna Hate Fuck The Shit Outta This Pick
Leave it to the Lions to drop the biggest turd of the draft thus far. Fuckin Titus Young IS Nate Burleson. What the hell are they doing? You're taking a #3 wideout when your secondary and linebackers are a pile of garbage. Christ, at this rate we're gonna have Follett starting at OLB with a broken neck. I just don't understand how you take a DT and WR with your first two picks when your best two players are a fuckin DT and WR! What sense does that make? Draft players that will be on the field more than a 3rd of the time. Harris was the no brainer here and he would've been great value cause the guy is an instant starter in a spot that you absolutely must upgrade at before the start of next year. Fuckin, fuck, fuck! I'd rather have Tim Toone.
PS - I hate everything about this video. It's like Roy Williams had a baby with Derrick Williams. BMOC just watched the whole thing and said "he's really good at getting tackled".
Bowers??? Harris???
The guys I had on my short list for today were Aaron Williams, Akeem Ayers, Rasi-Dowling, Brandon Harris, Brooks Reed, Bruce Carter, and Da'quan Bowers.
Of those names only Harris and Bowers remain. I'd be content with either.
PS - I'm so fuckin jacked to see Barry get some love from this franchise that owes him so much.
PSS - On the clock bitches!
What was up with Fairley Barely Cracking a Smile when he got Drafted?
I mean I understand that we've got a terrible public schools system and that it's so cold in the D but for crying out loud, at least crack a smile as The Schwartz tells you you're gonna be a part of the best D-line in the NFL.
PS - They gotta get rid of the green room cameras. I don't wanna see who the pick is before it's announced. Easily the most bushleague thing about the draft.
Don't Look So Excited Bro
What a sucker. Have fun going to book club instead of watching the big game. Man, who in their right mind would ever get married. Oh, wait...
Detroit and Rest of Nation is Cautiously Loving the Fairley Pick
Telling you the truth, I really couldn't believe the Lions actually took Fairley with this pick. With their guy (Amukamara) sitting there at 13 and a gaping hole to fill on the corner this upcoming year, I thought for sure that's the way they would go. But they decided to take the risk with Fairley and build off a strength. And you better believe the D line next year is gonna be straight lethal. Just body bags fuckin everywhere. Of course there are some work ethic issues surrounding Fairely, but it's not like he's walking into a situation where he's the top dog and all he's gotta do is show up and people will kiss his ass. In Detroit he's gonna have to bust his butt just for playing time week in and week out. Yeah, don't forget we've got Corey Williams and Sammy Lee Hill in the middle too.
Bottom line is I really love the pick. I'm a defense junkie and the job Mayhew has done transforming this team from the softest bunch of pushover losers in the league, to a hungry, punishing, punch you in the mouth unit is truly amazing. Especially considering how quickly it's happened. The defensive line will make everyone behind them better which leads me to believe that Detroit just became a desirable free-agent destination.
Rate new Bud Heavy Pop Top
Probably the best marketing decision since Spuds MacKenzie.
PS - Thought I was taking a picture. Nope
Morning Wood with Nick Fairley
I guess defensive tackle is the new wide receiver. Not gonna sit here though and pretend like I'm not rock hard. The rest of the NFC North better stockpile QBs cause these two are gonna eat em like chicken wings.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Draft Remix Takes You Into Draft Night
Less than an hour out and I really hope the Lions crown a Prince tonight. If not Bowers would be one hell of a consolation prize. If they're both gone I hope we can trade down and take Jimmy Smith. What's most likely to happen? Well, not really sure, I just hope we don't have another "Who the fuck is Gosder Cherilus?" moment.
Potential Draft Scenario #1 -- If Prince is gone and Da'quan Bowers and Tyron Smith are both available, who do you want?
I can't believe I'm saying this but I think DE is slightly more of a position of need than OL. Yup, that's right folks, I'm a Lions blogger who just gave credit to the offensive line. But I think it was deserved after last year. Ignoring that whole forgetting to block Julius Peppers thing that got Stafford blown the fuck up, I'd say they did a pretty decent job giving Shaun Hill and Drew Stanton the time they needed to make plays. There was even a hint of a running game down the stretch.
With that being said, they are still a B- on their best day and need improvement. I just don't know if passing on Bowers, a guy who could make your defensive front 4 one of the most feared units in the league, is worth the minor upgrade Smith might give us on the OL. Tyron Smith is definitely good, but drafting him to play RT while moving Gosder or Hilliard inside is hardly an upgrade worth mentioning. I'd much rather use free-agency to pick up a veteran offensive lineman who's gonna be a hell of a lot cheaper than a premier pass rushing free agent, and address DE in the draft where you'll be paying roughly the same for a DE or OL taken 13th overall.
Holy Balls!!! It's Draft Day!!! Lions Bumaya!!! Time to Restore the Roar!!!
Real simple Schwartz. Here's the plan.
PLAN A - Prince Amukamara
PLAN B - Da'quan Bowers or Trade Down
PLAN C - Offensive Lineman (Anthony Castonzo or Tyron Smith) or Trade Down
PLAN Wildcard - Mark Ingram
PLAN Millen - Move up into top 10, AJ Green
When did the Lions become the Jewel of the NFL?
Freep - Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford tossed some passes Wednesday to Calvin Johnson and Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco. Stafford tweeted: “Just got done workin out and throwing with @Bigplaycj and @ochocinco. Was a good day. #GoLions.” Ochocinco posted visual proof with a photo via Twitter. He added that he was on his “tippy toes so I didn’t look so small.”
When did the Lions become the jewel of the NFL? Like how did we go from Kitna and Roy jerking each other off to having every name-changing wide receiver and their mother banging down our door to throw a little pitch and catch with Stafford and Calvin? The roar gets restored some more tonight baby!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
JP Facebooks About Lions Reporting to Camp
Via Facebook
JP--
UHG! Lions please do not make my boyfriend report to camp while I am in California visiting him... This would be devastating.
The Freep reported yesterday that no Lions were spotted at the team's Allen Park facility and that player rep Kyle Vanden Bosch advised teammates to go about their normal workout routine away from team facilities. That coupled with JP's message leads me to believe that I might be the first non Lion or person not boning a Lion to have this scoop. Don't be surprised if you see me getting interviewed by John Clayton tomorrow on ESPN. NBD.
Former Lion Jason Hunter Stabbed
ESPN -- Denver Broncos defensive end Jason Hunter was stabbed in Detroit on Wednesday and taken to a local hospital for treatment. His agent said the wound wasn't life-threatening. Detroit Officer Dan Donakowski confirmed the 27-year-old Hunter was stabbed, but police didn't have any additional information, including where the incident took place, who was responsible and Hunter's condition. WXYZ-TV in Detroit said Hunter was knifed in his left shoulder and other media reports in the area said Hunter was stabbed by his girlfriend.
Man, bitches be stabbin. First, Brandon Marshall got gutted by his wife and now less than a week later Jason Hunter gets stuck. You best believe that if I was in the NFL the first thing I'd do tomorrow would be to throw out every knife, utensil, cheese grater, ladle, whatever, that we have in the house and make the Lady Friend eat her cereal with fuckin chopsticks. Althoooough, she watches an awful lot of that prison show Locked Up and would probably just sharpen them into a shanks. Jesus, I guess not getting stabbed by your significant other is more complicated than I thought. Time to just settle this whole lockout thing and get back out on the road where the bitches we bang aren't emotionally attached enough to grab a Ginsu if we leave the toilet seat up.
Michigan Club Hockey's Finest
Who says I never come correct for the Lady Blueskiers? Well, here's my boy Monty to the rescue with some of his most recent glamour shots to keep the ladies and their vibrators busy. We used to play club hockey together at Michigan and it appears that since graduation he and I have spent the same amount of time in the weight room and McDonalds respectively. Big deal though, I can carry a 50 lb weight around my waist too. Christ, I do it everyday, it's called my gut.
You've Heard of Kitten Mittens. Now Introducing Fido Filas
I'm sprinting home from work and doing this to my dog Lucy the second I walk in the door.
UPDATE - It just dawned on me where I've seen this before. It's the Scooby Doo run.
I Never Would've Guessed this is the Face of a Guy Who Ran Over a Family of Ducks with his Hummer
A 19-year-old Ann Arbor man faces up to four years in prison after he was charged with intentionally running over and killing four ducklings with his Hummer. Dillon Pearce was arraigned Tuesday in 15th District Court in Ann Arbor on one count of killing/torturing animals, Ann Arbor Police Det. Sgt. Brian Jatczak said. The ducklings, the mother duck and four to eight other ducklings were nesting under a bush at a McDonald's restaurant in Ann Arbor, wandering in and out of the parking lot, Jatczak said. A passenger in Pearce's Hummer tried to pick up a duckling at about 6:15 p.m. Monday “and the employees yelled at them to leave them alone," Jatczak said. The Hummer then went through the drive-thru and was parked in an adjacent lot, police said. Pearce is charged with driving the Hummer back into the McDonald's parking lot and running over the flock, killing four of the ducklings, Jatczak said. Employees called police, who found Pearce at a nearby gas station.
My bet is that Spencer was probably distracted behind the wheel cause Heidi was nagging about wanting new implants or fake eyeballs or some shit.
Seriously though, where does the humane society draw the line when it comes to which animals are okay to torture? Some are easy, like burning ants with a magnifying glass, fuckin awesome. But what about some of the more gray areas? Like what if this was a snake or a family of rats? Doubt you'd have Khloe Kardashian exposing her gargantuan ass to save them.
But since it's a cute little family of fuzzy little ducklings walking all in a row the day after Easter, the whole world wants to crucify you. Seems like a double standard. Not that I'm defending this dickwad or anything, all I'm saying is the next time he wants to impress his friends by killing some animals he should probably just buy a Stormy Kromer and a shotgun and do it like the rest of society.
Here Fishy, Fishy, Fishy...
Despite losing 6 of the last 8 and 3 of 4 this year to the Sharks I'm still taking the Wings in seven. San Jose could possibly be the toughest team they face the rest of the way but the Sharks were lucky as shit to get by L.A. and have issues like magazines on the defensive end, especially at tender. The Wings are playing better than they have all year and we should see Hank return sometime in the series. Scotty, get out the skates.
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