Fire Truck Gets Kronwalled By Train

Way to go Detroit municipal workers. Just when we start turning the screws on Kwame and begin to make him pay back the million bucks he stole from the city of Detroit you go and do something like this. I think this hurts our efforts to convince everyone just how important that money was to the city of Detroit. You just can't be taken seriously when you have jackasses parking $600,000 machines on the train tracks until the local Amtrak to Ann Arbor comes and crumples it like a pop can.

Snooki Almost Killed In Crazy Fist Pumping Accident

Newsblaze.com - Shards of glass rained down on hundreds of revelers -- including 'Sex and the City' actor Chris Noth and 'Jersey Shore' cast members Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi and Vinny Guadagnino -- at a Midtown party last night, injuring ten, officials said. The incident happened at the Sony Building, where some 300 guests had gathered to celebrate Purim, a Jewish costume celebration.

I've been warning Snooki for weeks that she has to take it easy on the fist pumping. Especially if you are at a party with a glass roof. C'mon Snickers, you know God is looking to take you out and you go and give him a golden opportunity by punching out the glass roof at a Jewish costume party? Must've been a good DJ.

This was Snooki's tweet after the roof collapsed:
"OMG the roof just collapsed. If there's a Rupture and Christ returns for his Church, obviously Snooki will be left behind, and she will no doubt be tweeting: OMG Christ or sum bearded dude look hella like him just took tons of peeps with him! aint nobody left but me & a lot of otha skanks, punks, pervs & losers."

Or in other words after the Apocalypse all that will be left is Snooki and the Ballgamers.

Never Mind This Is Worse

At least I get to watch him play in NYC

Fuckin Gross

I just threw up in my mouth

Antonio Cromartie To The Lions?

Rumor has it that the Lions could make their first relevant free agent move in over a decade. According to a reporter for the San Diego Union-Tribune the Lions and chargers have been in trade talks and a deal sending Antonio Cromatie to the Lions is all but done.

Although it is incredibly early on in the "New Millenium" I have to say that I like what I have seen so far from Martin Mayhew, minus the Pettigrew pick. It appears the Lions are headed in the right direction and Mayhew is a few moves away from pulling the Lions out of the NFL cellar. If the Lions end up getting Vanden Bosch in free agency and this Cromatie deal goes down then you have a defense that isn't the absolute worse in the NFL. Add either Suh or McCoy at #2 into the mix and our D has 3 play making starters that we didn't have last year. Mayhew has to be given a passing grade thus far as he turned Roy Williams into three next year starters in DeAndre Levy, Louis Delmas, and Sammie Lee Hill.

This should also free up the Lions to go after an offensive play maker with our second round pick, I like RB Jahvid Best out of Cal as long as this whole case of cockroach arms has been taken care of.

Caption Contest

So I watched a decent amount of the closing ceremonies last night with the lady friend. I normally don't give a shit about stupid stuff like this but the premier of Seinfeld's new show "The Marriage Ref" followed it and i've been eagerly awaiting this for about 3 months since they started airing the commercials. The two dudes from last night killed it too. One wanted a stripper "exercise" pole in the bedroom and the other guy mounted his dead dog and put it in the living room and his wife was gonna kill him. Shit, guess I have to come up with alternative plans for Lucy Bones once she kicks the can. But anyway shit was hilirious and Alec Baldwin was really funny. I laughed out loud more than once.

Anyway, back to the ceremony. Avril Lavinge is THE WORST and I can't believe she still get gigs just cause she is Canadian. Like what, were the Barenaked Ladies too busy to jump out of a huge cake and start performing with Rush in the middle of this shit show? Doesn't Canada have one relevant legit recording artist available? Why in the hell wasn't The Tragically Hip on board to do this. Would've straight killed it for sure. At least Neil Young came out and saved this sinking ship with a sweet version of "Long May You Run" which was both super Canadian and awesome.

But the real story was the grand finale. Take a look at this picture. I nearly shat myself when this Canadian version of Mardi Gras came marching into the stadium. Are you kidding me? Giant, inflatable beavers? Really? I guess it makes sense though cause if there is one thing Canada is known for it is definitely giant beavers. Could've only made this more Cadadian by pouring gravy all over it.

Give me your best caption and the winner gets a random joeyballgame prize pack sent to them next week. No joke, gonna be epic. I expect huge things.

Cecil Fielder Gets His Fat Chops Busted By A Curling Announcer

Before I get started I just gotta say that this has to be the best piece of reporting I have ever been apart of. Never mind that we were watching a non US curling match but this clip was undoubtedly destined for the curling video vault never to be heard from again. But thanks to Joeyballgame it will live on forever in the depths of Detroit sports lore.

Anyway, it's great to know that Cecil is still the standard for being an overweight fat slob of an athlete. All other fat slob athletes will forever be compared to Cecil and his legacy will live on. The odds of Cecil Fielder being mentioned during the 2010 Winter Games had to be at least a 1,000,000:1 right? I woulda guessed any one of these clowns had a better shot at it, even Pete Incaviglia.



But I think its time to finally cut Cecil a break. Dude has been toiling away trying to be a minor league manager and his ungrateful son Prince wants nothing to do with him. This kid is disgusting. You think you would've been a star in this game if it wasn't for your dad pumping you full of triple cheeseburgers and teaching you how to throw that mean slider. Show some respect Prince. This is the man who hit one over the roof of Tiger Stadium.



PS - When I was young I used to think that our VHS copy of "Fiddler on the Roof" that we had in our basement was a movie about Cecil hitting that bomb onto the roof of Tiger Stadium. True story.