Huffingtonpost.com - A Florida woman arrested Sunday for driving under the influence told police that she would have passed a sobriety test -- if not for her "big boobies," according to a Martin County Sheriff's Office report. Marueen Raymond, 49, allegedly drove her grey Toyota Camry over 50 mph through a 35 mph zone near Jenson Beach, swerving over a double yellow line twice before parking her car across two spaces in a nearby Walgreen's lot. Cops responded to the reckless vehicle notice and found Raymond in the driver's seat, reeking of alcohol and slurring her speech, the report explains.
"When I told her we were going to do some roadside tasks she told me that I needed to understand that she is big chested and if I asked her to close her eyes and balance she is not going to balance well," the officer wrote. "She told me 'Big breast you don't balance well.'" Asked if she had any injuries, Raymond told the officer that she had "big breasts" and whiplash, according to the report.
Asked to walk a straight line, Raymond began to dance. "When I told her she had to keep her hands at her side she stated 'hell no, not with these.' Telling me again she can't do it, not with her big boobies," the officer added. The report also explains that Raymond "began to take her clothes off to show me her breast and I stopped her."
How the hell is Huffington Post gonna run this story and not even give us one shot of her tits? It's straight up journalistically irresponsible. You can't come out and tell me she's got melons the size of bowling balls and is dancing all over the street offering to whip them out and then just give me a fricken mug shot.
Now I'm just sitting here twiddling my thumbs trying to picture how big this ugly ass old broad's jugs are. Waste of a fucking day. But seriously, how big we talking you think?
PS - Next time I'm too drunk to stand I'm 100% using the "my balls are too huge" excuse.
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