Crosby Fan Crying - Just like Crosby

I want kids and I want them now. I had no idea that it was okay to pyschologically break them down for your own enjoyment. And this was just the tip of the iceberg. Imagine the kids reaction when the dad tells him that Sidney is a pussy.

Career Advice w/ BMOC

Turns out a million beers on Thursday fucks up your Friday #wheresthepukebucket

Career Advice w/ BMOC

I regret to inform JBS nation, but I did not get the promotion. I appreciate all the fan mail and support that I received over the past 2 weeks. It's clear our audience understands that with great quotes, comes great consequences. But on the bright side, not having any respsonsibilites did free up about 2 hours for me to create this badass Suh desktop doll. Go here for the instructions. All you should need is a scissor and glue.

Next up on my slow climb to the top of the corporate ladder, "Somehow I Manage" by Michael Scott.

Ahhh. Did I Catch a Brain Tumor in There?

Just heard the reason Jerome Harrison failed his physical was because of a brain tumor? Is this real life?

Game 6 Live Update: Ron Washington Is Humping the Sh*t Outta the Dugout Right Now

It's been real Tigers, but I'm done. I just can't watch that crack addict hump the railing any more. It seriously felt like he was putting his penis inside of me with each run that crossed the plate.

Thought we might have even caught a break there when Bartman reached out and snatched that sure out away from Hamilton leading to the 2 run jack, but nope. Jackson and Raburn decided to play tummy sticks out in right-center and gave a run back about 10 seconds later. Just not in the cards tonight folks.

Oh shit, here comes Brad Penny. Uncle. Uncle!

Great Minds Think Alike

Talked with BMOC today about his thoughts on rivalry weekend and to my surprise he's not going the Michigan State slappy route and predicting a 55-10 route by MSU. In fact on the count of 3 we both revealed our final score predictions and I had Michigan 31-30 and he had Michigan 29-28. My main thought is that if the game remains low scoring it favors MSU but I just don't think anyone in the nation can contain Denard to one, if not more big plays. Do I think he'll get away with that jump ball bullshit he pulled against ND and have a miraculous comeback? Hell no, but I think he'll get 3/4 yards per run attempt and then bust one, two, or even possibly three big runs that result in Michigan scores. Plus you have to take into account that Smith or Shaw could do the same. I'm also looking forward to seeing Devin Gardner under center and a few tricky plays that should free Denard up to get the ball in space.

Bottom line is we both agreed this one will be be close and a semi high scoring affair. Great minds think alike even if one of us went to UofM and the other went to Eastern/transferred to MSU. Boom Roasted!

PS - I google searched "House Divided" and this image came up and I almost crapped my pants in anticipation of a Northwestern/MSU love child. This kid is destined to be a genius with a drinking problem. And don't pretend you don't know where the respective genes are coming from.

Career Advice with BMOC

Lesson: While sports quotes are great and inspiring, they DO NOT work in every situation.

The Situation: Interview with Director of Client Support for Leadership position.

The Quote: "Pride Comes Before the Fall"

I've never seen a guys head snap so fast. You would of thought I said I like to rape little girls. So while my peers were discussing how they can promote synergy, increase their bandwidth, and focus on their core competencies, I'm talking myself in circles and closing with "Pride Comes Before the Fall".

If I get a second interview, they better not ask me how to improve the department. "We don't need no meows, we don't need no cats, we need more dogs" seems like the right answer. I'll let you know how that goes.

MillenBall

Millenball - watch more funny videos

Hot damn I can't wait to see this in theaters. I heard the scene where Millen and Mornhinweg storm out of practice on their Harley's will send chills down your spine. And that on the bonus features, they have 6 hours worth of footage of Millen cutting his own grass, by hand!

NEWS ALERT: Dom Fathead Available on Ebay

I thought it my duty to inform everyone that there is currently a Dominic Raiola fathead available on Ebay. It's going for $99 bucks which is about $98 bucks more than it's worth but still, the fact Harrington hasn't bought up every one of these in existence is shocking.


My only complaint is that this fathead should've been from the ass end so I could practice taking snaps from him all day.

I Just Got the Ole "My Dog Ate My Gym Shorts Excuse". Classic

This kid Kye showed up the other day with possibly the most ballsy excuse note of all time. I mean we've all heard the dog ate my homework excuse but this is taking it to a whole new level. Mom even left 2 phone numbers for me to call if I had any questions, just basically daring me to call her. I almost did just to let her know she's the greatest mom ever.

Did Aretha Just Roll Outta Bed to Sing the National Anthem?

Jesus girl, put on a pant suit or something. These 80's mom jeans and ballpark giveaway windbreaker just scream welfare line.

Who'd Kevorkian Have To Kill To Get These Seats

Hell of a week for Dr. Death to come back from the dead. Tigers bumaya!

Doplar Looks Brutal in Arlington

Thanks a lot Bud Selig. Cause you decided to play Brick Tamland today and postpone the Tigers game until tomorrow I'll get to watch a combined zero minutes of game 2. Totallyfuckinbelievable.

Think I Saw Harrington in Boulder Last Night

Piano solo. Check.

Polyester leisure suit. Check.

LGBT umbrella in the background. Check.

Yup, it was him.

Anyone Else Bored as Shit Today?

I honestly don't know what to do with myself today. A fall Sunday without the Lions is about as rare as an Alex Avila post season hit. And now that the Tigers' game just got postponed till tomorrow I need some direction for the rest of the day. Here is a list of things I might try in order to get through the worst Sunday ever.

1 - Get all my Lions Jerseys Dry Cleaned: They're covered in years of beer and various condiments. Good day to wash away all that losing.



2 - Book Club: Been dying to curl up with this one.



3 - Shower. Finally



4 - Get off the Fantasy Football schneid: Despite Jason Hanson and Sebastian Janikowski I'm still a combined 0-8 in my 2 leagues. Who knew you weren't supposed to draft kickers early?



5 - Recycle all the Empty Blaze Orange Camo Busch Cans that have Piled up in the Pantry Since Week 1



6 - Play Beer Die



7 - Go to Mass



8 - Make Love



9 - Get Lions 16-0 Tat



10 - Grab a Camera and go AOL Cruising



11 - Finally Forgive Barry



12 - Pretend the Lions are on and get all sorts of Drunk-Lions-Chick blackout anyway.



13 - Put Celebration on Repeat



14 - Eat the Rest of Last Nights Hot and Ready.



15 - Just Sleep till Monday

Fitzgerald Might've Had a Case on that Whole Facemask Thing

Pat Fitzgerald just about lost his well educated mind when NW went for it on 4th down inside of Michigan territory midway through the 4th quarter and Jordan Kovacs ripped Persa's helmet clean off. Initially, it seemed like Kovacs just got the qb in an awkward position and took the helmet off with a clean squeeze of the right arm but if you took a long look at the replay it was evident that Kovacs' left hand got a handful of Persa's facemask which should've resulted in a personal foul and a first down.

Would it have really mattered? Probably not, but I've got no issues with Pat blowing his top over it cause that's what separates good coaches from the rest. If you aren't prepared to argue that call then you might as well put on a skirt and grab some pom poms like Joe Pa. Mascot U.

Suh Still Clinging to Hopes of Being Named Lions Place Kicker

Time to let it go big fella. I mean Hanson is absolutely killing it this year which means you've got about a zero percent chance of getting another shot at an extra point this year. Unless of course he goes down with a serious injury in which case I'm screwed. Jason is easily the best player on my fantasy team. Check out the gong show I'm running out there this week.




PS - Suh is lucky Vanden Bosch didn't rip off his head for making it rain Gatorade all over him. That shit is sticky.

When did "The Most Interesting Man in the World" get a gig with the Eagles?

When in Rome they do as he does. To bad he's in Phili where they blow 20 point leads.

New slogan... "I don't normally blow 20 point leads, but when I do, I prefer it's against the Lions."

What's the Dileo with Michigan having numbers on their Helmets?

I know the announcers explained that Michigan players liked the helmets with the numbers they wore against ND so much that Hoke is gonna roll with them the rest of the year but I'm actually not that into it. I think they look great and all but if you start letting Denard and company call the shots we're gonna see Brady Hoke wearing one of these rasta wigs with the dreads before we play Wisconsin.

Is this Matt Millen "Resume" a Joke?

I about crapped my pants the other day when I flipped on ESPN and saw them flash Matt Millen's resume minus the seven years of pure hell he put Detroit through. It's like applying for a job at a daycare center but leaving off the seven accounts of shaken baby syndrome you were convicted on. Oops! It all comes back to the fact I still can't believe how people associated with the NFL can turn a blind eye to the Millenium of shit that took place in Detroit. You want me to get over it then don't have the balls to put up his "resume" as he's talking cause that's just pouring salt in the wound.

Like I've Always Said, "Speed Kills"

The NFL lost one of it's most legendary personalities today when Al Davis died at the age of 82. He will surely be missed but anyone who's ever played Madden had to see this coming. Speed kills and we all know it. It's like how you wanna feel bad for smokers when they die of lung cancer but you just can't cause they knew the risks and did it anyway. His draft picks were the equivalent of smoking 3 packs a day.

DeMarcus Van Dyke (CB) - 4.28

Chimdi Chekwa (CB) - 4.38

Denarius Moore (WR) - 4.43

Jacoby Ford (WR) - 4.28

Darrius Heyward-Bey (WR) - 4.3

Louis Murphy (WR) - 4.32

Darren McFadden (RB) - 4.33

Arman Shields (WR) - 4.44

Tyvon Branch (CB) - 4.31

Johnnie Lee Higgins (WR) - 4.48


And that's just the last 5 years.

I Don't Even Know Where to Start

Based on the number of emails I've received the last few months it's pretty evident that my extended summer vacation is not going over well with the Blueskiers. My abrupt disappearance has elicited cat calls of Bin Laden, Bobby Fisher, and Barry Sanders and I can't say these comparisons were misdirected. But regardless of my past transgressions I can't maintain the silence any longer. Bmase has stepped up in my absence and done a noteworthy job but it's time to give the people of Detroit what they crave.

To anyone with a pulse and a 313 area code it's evident that we're on the cusp of the biggest few weeks in Detroit sports history. We're talking about the Tigers taking the series over the Evil Empire and our Dad's Fathers Day bet of $100 on the Tigers to win the World Series at a 20-1 shot is looking pretty damn good! Dude better buy me a gold plated JoeyBlueSkies jersey if that shit pans out.

We're also talking about the Lions getting off to their best start since 1980 and going into the biggest Monday Night Football game we've ever seen in Detroit! Word is they're gonna break the all time NFL attendance record and after weeks of getting double teamed, I predict Suh finally breaks out with a 2 sack night.

And although it may not seem like it, we're also talking about the Wings kicking off another season which means it's time to put on the white gloves cause another Cup is on it's way.

Now, can you expect me to crank out 10 posts a day like the prized shih tzu at a puppy mill? No. But you can definitely count on weekends full of uncompromising opinion about all that is Detroit and a few weekday posts about anything I feel you need to hear about.

If you're looking for a game recap I suggest you go to the Freep.com cause you aren't gonna get it here. But if you want to find out what true fans are itching to say than this is your place. If you don't agree, I encourage you to tell me about it. If you like it, then tell me about it. Most importantly if you're a fan of JBS and know someone who's into Detroit sports you better toot my horn otherwise you can S my coney dog.

To get things kicked back off I want to just give all BlueSkiers a reminder why I am who I am.

Was listening to a lot of Detroit sports talk radio this week and the one resounding theme amongst all the Lions enthusiasm was that nobody saw this amazing start coming. I beg to differ...

Let me take you back to April 20th 2011, the day this year's NFL schedule came out.

Don't really have much time today cause I'm back in Michigan with the Lady Friend looking for a place to get hitched but thought I'd just let you know that the Lions are going to the playoffs next year. NBD.

Now, normally I'd spend the better part of the summer going through each game and calculating our chances to win but it's not even necessary this year. The football Gods have finally pardoned us following year after year of absolutely brutal schedules. With a win in Dallas there's a chance the Lions could be 4-0 going into the Monday Night game and even 6-0 before they face the Falcons. This is the year to restore the roar! Lions Bumaya!!!

Sept. 11 at Tampa Bay - Win.

Sept. 18 vs. KANSAS CITY - Crapshoot. They're basically us. But still, Win.

Sept. 25 at Minnesota - Do they even have a stadium? Win.

Oct. 2 at Dallas - Suh knocks out Romo. Win.

Oct. 10 vs. CHICAGO (Monday Night Football)- Lions to the Playoffs hype starts. Win.

Oct. 16 vs. SAN FRANCISCO - No QB, Suh stops the run. Win.

Oct. 23 vs. ATLANTA - Ryan exposes a still weak secondary. Loss.

Oct. 30 at Denver - I'll be at this game and I'll be a mile drunk. Win.

Nov. 6 Bye

Nov. 13 at Chicago - Win.dy City blows.

Nov. 20 vs. CAROLINA - Win by 30.

Nov. 24 vs. GREEN BAY (Thanksgiving) Playoff pressure builds. Lions choke. Loss.

Dec. 4 at New Orleans - Drew Brees. Loss.

Dec. 11 vs. MINNESOTA - Win.

Dec. 18 at Oakland - Al Davis takes Usain Bolt in draft. Win.

Dec. 24 vs. SAN DIEGO - Jose sucks. Win.

Jan. 1 at Green Bay - Win if it matters. Loss otherwise.


Give or take a few games, that's basically how our 10+ win season is gonna shake out. Mmmm...draft is only a week or so away folks. You smell that cornbread baking?

Even Little Girls Love the D

Megatron - You are Dirty!

This issue is going to get more playing time than the Victoria's Secret catalog my mom kept under the sink in the laundry bathroom. I almost feel bad posting smut like this at work.

Lions 4-0 - POW!!!!!

Great idea by 971, but some pretty poorous fist pows. How the hell does Stoney get paid to talk about sports (for those who don't know, he's second in the video)? Thats the type of fist pow that gets you beat up in middle school and eating lunch by yourself like your fucking Stephen Glansburg.

Text Time

"jim schwartz is my tiger."
- Art Reyes III

Verlander for MVP?

I just don't get it. Who cares about the MVP? Honestly? My guess its the kids who are under 12 and beat their shit to JV and the guys who are over 40 who still beat their shit to JV. This debate has been going on after every Verlander start, and it's as played as the Favre retire/unretire bit. Who cares about an award that has no guidelines for the actual voting. Baseball traditionalists might be my least favorite people on earth. I'm all for removing the home plate umpire, and having the robot from Rocky IV calling balls and strikes.

Rip Hamilton is a Sneaky Fucker

So close. So fucking close. I think if Bruno Mars doesn't come on the radio, Rip is behind bars right now. That's clearly when he snapped, and he knew it was go time.

Little Bro Gets New Threads

For everything retarded thing Mark Hollis does (the "situation" being on the sidelines last week), he backs it up with about 6 sweet things. The most recent being the Pro Combats. I'm 50-50 on the actual jerseys, but that doesn't even matter. It's about Michigan State stepping up as the "cool" school in the big ten. Ohio State had a strangle hold on this position the last decade, but MSU is straight backdooring them right now. Dantonio is a great recruiter to begin with, this will just make things unfair.

PS - I can't imagine anyone took my advice on BMOC's Locks, but I would make those same picks again this week. I was right, the games were just wrong Watch out this weekend as I will release my new picks, but with a new name to guarantee success. This new segment will be called Bloc's.

Double PS - I didn't post it because I thought it was common sense, but everyone should of made their money back on the lions. That shit was like stealing alittle kids tricycle (fred mccloud reference, keep up)

BMOCs Locks

The season is young, but there is something in this Georgia air that is making me pick 66% winners this year. Historically, I am as good at betting as I am in making money, winning fist fights, and holding my liquor. I never realized this until people kept asking me what sites I used to bet. After telling them, their next question would be; How easy is it to get money out? I never had an answer for them, I would just respond with it's really easy to deposit money. That's when it finally clicked.

But this year is different. I'm seeing the ball well out of the pitchers hand, and making good swings. I even nailed that Maryland last minute pick 6 last week to get the cover. So normally I would tell you not to take my advice, but not this year, not today. Don't think just throw.



This is the 3rd time State has played Howard Schnellenbergers Owls in the last 4 years. None of the games have been blowouts, and franky michigan state does not have the offensive explosion to cover 32.5 against the Menominee Maroons. Not wanting to show to much to Notre Dame, Edwin Baker and Larry Caper have big days on the ground, state roles 38-14.

FAU +32.5



Maybe I'm just trying to hedge my bets here and trying to create a win win situation with this game, but I really feel like this is the year Notre Dame takes down Michigan. Reins are too tight on Denard, which makes this offense less effective than it was last year. Notre Dame's defense has come around, and I don't think Rees has ever lost a game he's started. Kelly makes it 4-0 against Hoke head to head. Notre Dame 35 Michigan 24

Notre Dame -3

Just When I Thought Milwaukee Couldn't Get Any Gayer

Tune in next week when Braun and Prince recreate the final scene of "Requiem of a Dream". To make it relevant for the Milwaukee audience, the dildo will be replaced with the winner of last nights sausage race. And we have a weiner! I mean winner.

Who's Heath Evans?

I love 2011. What an era to live in. Finally people are held accountable. You want to compare Matthew Stafford to Cam Newton, were just going to trash your wikipedia page. God Bless America!

PS - Click to read

Weekend Recap

UofM
The rain delay killed me, and I spent most of the second half in and out of a corona/nacho cheese induced comma. From what I did see, this looks to be another long season for Michigan. It's a nice win, and one that you had to have, but if Hoke wants to play that Michigan arrogance card, you need to be rolling MAC teams by 40+. Truthfully, if Hurricane Bo didn't show up, I'm not convinced Michigan wins that game.



MSU
As you read above, I love to over-react. In fact. Eileen ate some of my McChicken when we were coming home from the bar on Saturday, and I tore the shit out of our apartment in rage. Having said that, I'm not going to panic about MSU. Yes I wish we rolled YSU like Wisconsin rolled UNLV. But it's a long season, and they all count one. And with FAU this week, and at Notre Dame the following, a blowout could of led to your classic trap game situation. I'll take a lackluster week 1, knowing that MSU will not make the same mistake twice this week. Lastly, State has best CB tandem in the B10. Both in play and showtimeness.



Lions
Sad to see D-Will finally get cut. And for about 20 hours, we finally didn't have an offensive skill player with the last name of Williams. But then Millen, I mean Mayhew cut Aaron Brown and picked up Keiland Williams. And even better, Williams is going to wear number 34! So now you can hold onto you Smith and Jones jersey's as well. My business plan for jersey replacement name tags is almost complete. In similar news, Pettigrew changed his number from 84 to 87.



Tigers
I might seriously call in sick tomorrow with tiger fever. The best part about it, is that my boss would actually allow it (she has mcfarlene and starting lineup baseball players all over her desk). Even when I mail in a game as a fan, as I did on Saturday, we still get the win. Putting $100 on the tigers to win the World Series at 20/1 might have been the best father days present ever. Dombrowski deserves a lot of credit, and I have been convinced since day 1 that Fister is the number 2 that we need to go deep in the playoffs.