What?! Giant Inflatable Beavers From Closing Ceremonies Are On Sale

Rich Chandler - If you're like me, you were watching the Winter Olympics closing ceremonies and dreaming of having an Always Enjoyable Giant Inflatable Beaver of your own. Here's the backstory on TAEGIB for those three people on the planet who are not familiar with the greatest inflatable animal ever invented. And now we learn that he can be yours, for $5,000 or thereabouts. There are actually six giant inflatable beavers, which you saw parading at the closing ceremonies along with inflatable hockey players, mounties and a giant inflatable William Shatner (may have been the real thing). They were produced by Dynamic Displays of Windsor, Ontario, which began making them in October under a veil of secrecy that made the Manhattan Project look like an arts and crafts project.

Because of the frenzy that Joeyballgame.blogspot.com has created around these giant inflatable beavers the company that made them has decided to let the common man get his hands on the greatest piece of memorabilia in Olympic history. Forget Michael Phelps' 8th Olympic gold medal, forget Michael Johnson's gold shoes and toss John Carlos' and Jimmie Smith's black gloves in the trash. I'm telling you that we can purchase an inflatable giant beaver for a mere 5,000. I'm on the horn right now soliciting donations so that I can give it out as the prize for the caption contest.

All I can think right now is... Your AT&T Universal Card has arrived?! Kick fuckin ass a Mastercard. Life can be pretty cool sometimes.

Michigan Reminds Everyone Who Was Ranked #15 At The Beginning Of The Season

There you go Michigan. Nice work last night. Keep grinding out those wins. Thats noble work you're doing. Might make that NIT after all. Bahahaha

Wolverines 83, Gophers 55

PS - Did anyone notice that Ohio State is #6 in the nation and just won a share of the Big Ten title. This is after playing a chunk of the season without Evan Turner and starting 1-3. Michigan sports are getting woodshedded right now. The only thing I can do to not cry is laugh.

Apparently The Combine Is One Big Fuckin Scam

The NFL better get a crisis control team together and I mean fuckin fast. We live in a society people! 40 yard dash times are the cornerstone of all that is the NFL draft. If people can't rely on this information as being accurate then we might as well just go Lord Of The Flies on each other.

Stones Should've Kidnapped Rondo Last Night

VS


So it was Jonas Jerebko night at the Palace last night or some shit. Apparently everyone’s favorite Swede won Eastern Conference Rookie of the Month for February, posting a stat line of 10.2 points, 56% shooting, 6 boards and 24.2 minutes. Oh, and it was his birthday, so sweet.

Anyways, in their first appearance in the Palace in a little over a week after a less than successful Western Conference road trip that consisted of losses to the Clippers, Nuggets, and Warriors. Even more frustrating than the losing streak is the fact that the Pistons have now lead in the fourth quarter of each of their last four losses. Granted, when you waste the first 5 and a half minutes of the fourth with a rotation of Villanueva, Bynum, Daye, Maxiel, and Gordon your not going to hold on to too many leads.

I’d also like to point out the tweet I saw from Bill Simons. “Have the Pistons supplanted the Lions as the most depressing team in Detroit? I can’t believe this team was intentionally assembled.” Mmm, lets see, when was the last Lions playoff push? So that would be a no, jackass, but thanks for the cheap shot.

MarcUM

Yoosta Be A Yooper

A reporter in Lakeland asked Johnny Damon "If someone called you a Yooper, what would you do?"

Damon responded, "Shoot. Isn't that what one of the minor league teams is called up there? A Yooper? They didn't teach us that in the Florida schools. What's a Yooper?"

Oh Johnny, we're off on the wrong foot already. But as long as you mash the ball like you did in NY you won't have to worry about playing for the Yoopers. Is anyone else as tingly as I am about the season starting up. Won't be long before I'm pounding Steveweisers in the Pepsi bleacher seats on a warm day in late May. Hell Yeah

Suh, McCoy Work Out At The Combine

I fuckin hate Mel Kiper with a passion cause his hair would get straight bitch slapped by Mike Babcocks hair in a heart beat so I'm gonna give you a look at what his younger and less obnoxious draft counterpart had to say about our two blue ribbon winning bulls. One of which will be draped in Honolulu Blue come late April.

Here's a bit of what McShay had to say -

Suh's overall day was a bit better. He checked in at 6-4 and 307 pounds, and his 40 time of 4.98 was more than adequate. Suh also put up 32 reps on the bench press, showcasing the upper-body power that allows him to lock onto and control blockers before discarding them. His strength also showed up when he was punching the bags during drills, impacts that echoed throughout the stadium.

McCoy measured 6-4 but a little lighter at 295, and his 23 reps were a little disappointing. Still, he ran a 4.96 and was able to showcase his outstanding quickness (feet and hands) during position-specific drills.

The different defensive schemes they played in while in college highlighted different skill sets for each player, as Suh has been labeled the "read and react" player while McCoy is more of a run-stuffer. Now that they've gone head-to-head in the same workouts, multiple reports are giving the edge to Suh after Monday's results. Suh was 14th in the country in tackles for loss with 1.46 per game and McCoy was 35th with 1.19. To some, numbers matter, and the bench press reps are getting a lot of attention. Still, both players are at the top of the Scouts Inc. draft board, and are expected to be taken in the first two overall picks of the NFL draft. McCoy is currently listed as No. 1, but obviously things can change.

When it comes down to it, either of these guys will be great NFLers. Both will help the Lions win next year and thats really all I want to see. The sexy pick is King Kong Suh but i'll take McCoy without bitching much at all. I will however shit myself if the Lions take Derrick Morgan, DE from Georgia Tech, which the Sporting News had in their latest mock draft.

Caption Contest Heats Up! Only 2 More Days To Submit. Winner Announced On Friday

We have had some real solid captions coming in for our first ever caption contest. We have also had some really rough around the edge ones, c'mon T-hig. But you have to submit by Thursday evening to be in the running for the Joeyballgame Surprise Prize Pack. Make it happen.


T-hig:
Fucking Canadians!

Justin:
After arguing over what should be included in their closing ceremony for years, the Canadian Olympic Committee gave up and just inflated everything listed under the Famous For tab on the country's Wikipedia page.

Bmase:
This photo was shot in 3B - three beers - and it looks good, eh?

Jmase:
(disappointedly) Oh. Canada...

Lady Friend:
A really bad trip on some intense canadian brownies

Eileen:
Pure Canada

Bmase#2:
"And I thought Oz was fucked up"
-Dorothy