Two Teachers One Chair

Fox News – Two teachers’ performance of a dirty dance at a Canadian high school rally has led to their suspension without pay, The Globe and Mail reported. After footage of the graphic lap dance was posted online, the Winnipeg School Division launched an investigation into the incident at Churchill High School. The video, “Two Teachers, One Chair,” features physical education instructor Chrystie Fitchner and an unidentified male teacher in a sexually explicit routine that had students turn from laughter to disbelief. “At first we were laughing and then it was like, ‘Oh that’s a little too far,’” The Globe and Mail quoted 14-year-old Freshman Saigha Vincent. Winnipeg school trustee Mike Babinsky expressed his outrage at the teachers’ behavior, and said he will wait for the results of the investigation before deciding whether to lobby for further disciplinary action, The Globe and Mail reported. “He is sticking his head into her crotch, into her private area,” Babinsky told The Globe and Mail on Tuesday. “I don’t know if they’re making contact, but it’s way too close.” Thirteen-year-old student Montana Fortier said the “whole school was rattled” after the assembly.

So they are gonna be fired for sure, right? And I guess that means there is an opening in the P.E. department at Churchhill High School. Count me in, I gotta get hired by this school. Shit looks awesome. Like how long were they gonna let this go on before a principal, administrator, custodian, or fuckin lunch lady stepped in and stopped it?

I definitely remember some pretty rowdy stuff happening at all school assemblies in old Menominee. But it was never anything more than Brett Dessart doing the Chris Farley Chippendale's dance with a solid 4 inches of ass crack showing or dudes dressed as cheerleaders with the largest fake tits you could jam into a jumper. Nothing outrageous like two teachers simulating oral on one another. Woulda loved to see a certain football coach/English teacher go down on the algebra teacher, Old Lady Antilla. Talk about a pep rally.

PS - You know Kurt Warner is gonna be suing for defamation of character. It is common knowledge that he never goes down on his wife.

Dutch Douche Does It Again

Huffingtonpost.com - Sven Kramer lost the gold medal Tuesday when coach Gerard Kemkers sent him the wrong way on a changeover during the 25 laps of the 10,000-meter speedskating race – a mistake so elementary, it defies belief. "It is a disastrous error," said Kemkers, still in shock because his faulty instructions had Kramer disqualified and moved Lee Seung-hoon of South Korea from silver to gold. "This is unprecedented in an Olympic Games," said U.S. coach Derek Parra. Kramer had not lost a 10,000 in three years, making him the prohibitive favorite to win – until the inexplicable happened. Every lap, a skater moves from the outside lane to the inside lane, or vice versa, for a changeover to make sure everybody skates the same distance. "Sometimes you're coming out and looking for good ice, you might go either tight on the track or wide on the track to get better ice. And it's at that time you think – 'OK, where did I just come from?'"

After wearing out his media welcome, "The Disaster from Denmark", Sven Kramer, decided he wasn't done being the biggest a-hole in the world and confirmed the fact that the Dutch are the Gold Medal winners for Douchery. Just serves him right. Guy was pissed nobody knew his name when he won the 10,000m and now he can be certain nobody will forget his dumbass after being DQ'ed for switching into the wrong lane. Classic. But on a more positive note this has to be good for my reality show idea where Sven moves in with Bruce Jenner and learns how to live life after Olympic fame. In the pilot episode Kris Kardasian surgically removes Sven's balls and puts them on the mantle next to Bruce's. This could totally save NBC after they lost 200 million broadcasting fuckin ice dancing.

Why Is Marshall Faulk On My Doritos?

Marshall must have the best agent in the world. How is he still getting paid to advertise stuff? He hasn't been relevant since '03

Brian Westbrook Looks Forward To A Future Of Worshipping Howard Stern's Prostate

I'm glad this happened to Scott Van Pelt and not Hannah Storm cause we all know she can't take a joke. He should've know that this wasn't Brian right from the start when he asked Scott how he was doing. No athlete says hi to a sportscaster unless it's a hot ass chick or a former athlete. That's just the rule. And I thought he had more on air savvy than this. He just looks at Steve Levy, says hi and then waits for him to save his ass. Weak.

We're Going Streaking

Holy shit, I decided to take a little break and celebrate my little sister’s birthday and all of a sudden the Pistons decide to piece together back to back wins! What’s going on here? And shit, one of those wins was over the Spurs!

Rip’s been tearing it up, shooting 21 for 39 over the last two games and really carrying the offense. Really the whole team has been shooting it better over the last two games. Stuckey and Gordon were the primary help for Rip against the Spurs, dropping 20 and 21 respectively, while Tayshaun chipped in with 22 of his own against the Kings.

I think the part I’m most excited about is that the Pistons essentially blew out the Kings. You know things are going right when John Kuester can find time in the game to get Chris Wilcox 12 minutes (enough time to pick up 4 boards and a technical foul). Oh, and our ghostly first round pick even managed to stretch his legs for an impressive 3 minutes filled with an exciting defensive rebound!

Anyways, up next we get the Clippers in L.A. Not sure how I feel about this game. On the one hand it’s the Clippers, on the other hand we are the Pistons.

MarcUM

Wolverines Lay The Foundation For A B-Ball Dynasty With All Those Bricks

I know I said I was done and I am. But an 18 point half? Bahahahaha. That's 6th grade basketball shit.

Illinos 51, Michigan 44

Lions Are Shopping #2 Pick

NFL Network - Jason La Canfora reported yesterday that the Lions are not just open to trading the No. 2 overall pick, but they are actually actively looking for deals to move down in the first round. The Lions are actively shopping the second overall pick in April’s draft, according to a league source, and would be very comfortable trading down, looking to stockpile three or four assets. The Lions already have been in discussions with other teams about the prospect, according to the source, and have ample time to make such a move before the draft begins April 22.

Is this really a story? No shit we're shopping the #2 overall pick. News flash, we are terrible. We would like to get better. If you wanna give us your whole draft for N. Suh or one of these QB's then we are in. This is how you play the game. It's called being a GM.