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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Shirt Change?


VS

So last night was Justin's birthday and we went out for a few drinks. Before heading out I noticed he put on a nice white dress shirt cause he claimed he was gonna be a make out machine. Cool, whatever, don't hate the player hate the game. But then as we are about to leave I look over at him again and he is wearing this spiffy black button down shirt. Dude totally switched shirts once he was already dressed and ready to go. This shit ain't allowed, right? I'm pretty sure I saw "The Situation" do this once on Jersey Shore but that guy makes his own rules. I busted Justin's chops about this for the rest of the night. I wanna know from you guys, can a dude put on one outfit, make a semi-public appearance in the living room, and then go back and change his outfit again? I say hell no. But I wear sweatpants almost every day of my life so what the hell do I know.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Boom Boom Pow!


Guess this ass. Scroll down for the answer.




















That's right. It's J.Lo in the flesh and she has all 60 pounds of that ass crammed into that leather cat suit. I'm totally down. Chick looks great for being 41. I just have to question that jewelry she is rockin. Shit looks like she got it at "Claire's" in the Pine Tree Mall.

Lady Gaga Laying The Wood


Huffingtonpost.com - Lady Gaga's revealing stage costume at the Grammys proved that she doesn't have a penis after all, but she's got a big one snaking down the leg of her pants on the cover of the new Q, a British music magazine. "We all know that one of the biggest talking points of the year was that I have a dick, so why not give them what they want?" she told the magazine. "I want to wear a dick strapped to my vagina."

I can't get a read on Lady Gaga. Half the time she looks like the Slim Jim dude and the other half of the time she looks like a sexy female Edward Scissorhands. I'm starting to think that I sweat her, minus the whole having a penis thing.

AHHH!


Michigan Gets Popped By NCAA


Freep.com - The NCAA has issued a notice of allegations to the University of Michigan alleging five major violations in its football program. University officials just released the report this afternoon. Incoming athletic director David Brandon said the school would be sticking with head coach Rich Rodriguez. “We view these allegations seriously,” Michigan president Mary Sue Coleman said. "We will make all necessary changes. What we will not do is make excuses. Among the allegations:

-From January 2008 through this past September, the program exceeded the permissible limit on the number of coaches by five. The NCAA alleges that five quality control staff members illegally engaged in on- and off-field coaching activities.

-From January 2008 through at least last September, the school permitted football staff members to illegally monitor and conduct voluntary summer workouts and impermissible activities outside the playing season. The NCAA also alleges that U-M required players to participate in summer conditioning for disciplinary purposes, and exceed time limits for countable athletically related activities during and outside the playing season.

-Graduate assistant coach Alex Herron provided “false and misleading information to the institution and enforcement staff” during the investigation.

-Coach Rodriguez “failed to promote an atmosphere of compliance within the football program and failed to adequately monitor the duties and activities of quality control staff members, a graduate assistant coach and a student assistant coach, and the time limits for athletically related activities.”

-From January 2008 through at least this past September, the athletics department “failed to adequately monitor its football program to assure compliance regarding the limitations on the number, duties and activities of countable football coaches and time limits for countable athletically related activities.”

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Well this is turning into one hell of a day. I'm back at work after a week off and this shit is the worst. I wish I could just sit at home and sling smut all day. Instead I gotta get up each morning and motivate the youth of New York to not be morbidly obese. Will somebody hurry up and make me famous already so I can quit this shit and move into a penthouse apartment overlooking Comerica. God damn I could do some serious damage with my finger on the pulse of the city like that.

But anyway the real reason I am writing this is cause the hammer has finally come down and the NCAA announced that Michigan did all the things that the Detroit Free Press claimed they did in regards to violating NCAA regulations. This has a lot of Wolverine faithful real worried and getting all defensive about the Freep taking up pitchforks and torches in a Rich Rod witch hunt.

I definitely will say that I think its weird that the Detroit media has a hard-on for digging up dirt on Rich, but what I won't do is sit here and nitpick over minor details that don't mean shit. The bottom line is that we broke rules and they got us. Yeah, other big schools do it too but for some reason they didn't get popped, we did. If we didn't want this to happen then we should've been more careful because we know better. No one cares whether or not is was a 8.5 or 9 hour practice day that pushed us over the edge. No one cares whether the workouts were voluntary or required. Nobody cares whether there were 4 or 5 coaches too many supervising workouts. The time to cry over that has passed. The matter of the fact is that Michigan violated rules that they knew existed. Rich can sit and say that he wasn't aware that he was breaking them but he was. And it is what it is. The first thing that should've happened after Rich was hired is that there should've been a sitdown between Bill Martin, Mary Sue and Rich Rod to go over this situation exactly. It should've been drilled into his head from day one that he better tread lightly because people smelled blood in the water during this coaching transition. And if you give them anything, absolutely anything than you're toast. And that's exactly what we did. We gave them a whiff and now we are knee deep in shit. I put this on Bill Martin because it ultimately falls on him. You hired a renegade as a coach and didn't keep an eye on him. Shame on you.

Where do we go from here? Well, I don't have an easy answer for that. I definitely wouldn't panic and fire Rich and the new AD, David Brandon, has said as much. I think we just take our lumps from the MSU and OSU slappys and move on. Yeah it is embarrassing that we weren't smarter than this but I'm more embarrassed by the Rich Rod Pity Party Pep Rally that he threw himself at the Michigan Theater last week. I mean who the fuck does that? Is this JV football where we need to paint our faces and pile a student section onto a school bus for away games? Like what the hell? This is the Big Ten we're talking about here. Nobody needs to hear Larry Foote and Rick Leach whisper sweet nothings into Rich's ear so he doesn't go home and kill himself. Fuckin amateur hour out there. But the real take away is this. Know that we're gonna hear it from everybody next year and if Rich fucks up on the field he is doneski. But you know what the perfect cure all for shit like this is...winning football games. There you go Rich, I told you I didn't have an easy answer for you but you better believe I have the right one.

PS - The Freep was advertising this shirt along with the news of the violations. I fuckin dare anyone to wear it right now.

Ay Caramba! Guillen To Be Announced As Full Time DH Today


Jim Leyland is expected to make an announcement later today to officially name Carlos Guillen as DH. Can't say I am surprised by this at all and once the Tigers started courting Damon it was basically a foregone conclusion that we had seen the last of Carlos roaming the field. And I'm kinda sad. Watching Guillen limp around with two bad hammies for the last few years has become a Tiger pastime. But taking on this role should help Guillen get healthy once again and dude still has plenty of pop left in his bat from both sides of the plate. He can also still be used at any position on the field in an emergency situation. Not to mention he has been "My Tiger" before people used to state who their Tiger was and he delivered one of the most memorable moments in recent Tiger's history with his walk off jack at 3:30 in the morning against the Yankees.

Will somebody please cue "Cool & The Gang" cause its time to Celebrate!



This song will forever be synonymous with Detroit sports success for me. I remember tuning the radio to 97.1 the ticket the day after the Lions beat the Skins for their first victory in over a year and they were just rocking out to this all morning. It was like we won the Superbowl. Loved every second of it.

Canadian Dude Celebrates Gold Medal In Style




This guy just slid head first down an ice luge that would make a sorority girl blush and on his way to the medal podium a fellow Canadian congratulates him with a full pitcher of micro brew. Now that's patriotism.

Todd Palin Aborts The Iron Dog


ANCHORAGE, Alaska — Todd Palin, the husband of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, and his partner have pulled out of what is dubbed the world's longest snowmobile race. Todd Palin is a four-time winner of the 2,000-mile Iron Dog. The Anchorage Daily News says Palin's partner, Scott Davis of Soldotna, was injured about 30 miles beyond the Puntilla Lake checkpoint in the Alaska Range. The two were on their way back to the checkpoint. The extent of Davis' injury was not immediately known. The race from Big Lake to Nome and Fairbanks started Sunday with 29 two-man teams. Before the start, racers were bemoaning Alaska's warmer-than-usual temperatures. Veteran racer Tyson Johnson says trail conditions are not good, with dirt and no snow in some portions of the trail.

Turns out Sarah Palin is just an idiot magnet. She attracted the old-man-war-robot John McCain and now it is clear that her unemployed husband Todd has given up on the easiest race ever created. This thing isn't the Iditorod or the New York Marathon where you have to do a shit ton of work in a harsh climate. We're talking about a race where you get on a machine and press the gas pedal until you cross the finish line. And he quit. C'mon you can't quit, what do you think this is, the Alaskan Governorship?

And you know that Todd really wanted to blame this loss on global warming and the fact that there wasn't any snow in Alaska but that kinda contradicts the whole "global warming is a conspiracy" theory that the Palins have been running with.

If you can't tell, I know that global warming is real. Unlike Tits McGhee here.