Johnny "8 Mill For 1 Year" Damon

So we are obviously overpaying for Johnny in this situation but I still think this is an important move if we actually wanna compete next year for the Central. The one thing you can't do in the MLB is waiver between wanting to compete and wanting to rebuild. So I will be cheering for Johnny all year and don't really care if he fucks up cause if we didn't have him we would be straight fucked. As of now I think the Central is winnable and if Austin Jackson and the revamped pitching staff show up then who knows?

The biggest news about Damon signing with the Tigers is that his wife was adamant about not living in Detroit. Fuck her, I hope I see her at Chelie's Chili Bar so I can give her a piece of my mind. Probably in a bathroom stall if you know what I mean.



Damon's best quote from his presser...

"Let's hope the Chinese are right when they say this is the year of the tiger!"




Thanks for the quote The Boy

Down Goes Frasier! Down Goes Frasier!

Public transit fights are the best. You can never predict what is gonna go down. There is no prefight scouting where you can pick up on an opponent's tendencies and weaknesses. Like I had no idea what Santa Clause was bringing to the table. He was looking all scared and shaky at first so I thought for sure I was gonna see him get his ass beat down by this black dude who seemed to have a chip on his shoulder. But apparently all that shaking was just the old man turning into the Incredible Hulk cause once that dude got up in his face and made contact, shit was on. I haven't seen a beat down that bad since the Lions made the wildcard in 1995. Old man strength was in full force during this one and after that first left cross the black dude was straight leaking. What a flurry of shots too. That was fuckin impressive. I'm pretty sure he could handle Floyd Mayweather right now if this whole Manny Pacquaio fight never materializes. I'd lay down 49.99 to watch that shit tonight.

The two chicks taping this and chirping the whole time made this for me. The one never broke stride through this whole thing and just kept pounding her bag of swedish fish.

Will somebody get this guy an abulamce already. Jesus.



Thanks to Jhof for the clip

Kyle Vanden Bosch To The Lions?

Peter King of SI has reported that he would be suprised if Kyle Vanden Bosch wasn't a Detroit Lion a month from now. I for one am on board with bringing the Bosch to Detroit as long as Schwartz doesn't turn this into a Rod Marinelli type situation where he just stock piles washed-up has beens who used to play for him. Bosch has Probowl talent, 12 sacks two years ago and even though he has battled through injuries lately, I think he would be a major help to our less than impressive defensive line. I just dont want this to mean that we would consider drafting anyone but a defensive lineman with that number two overall pick.

USA! USA! USA!

This picture of the Big Boss Man laying the wood on The Mountie pretty much sums up what happened last night. The US just straight turnbuckled Canada with that loss and sent them into a worse case scenario where they will have to win a qualifying game just for a chance to play the Russians. Meanwhile the US picked up the number one spot guaranteeing themselves a few days off and the winner of the Switzerland vs Belarus game. Can you say fuckin cake walk into semis?

I also gotta point out that I love the way this US team is put together. It was a major risk dumping the grey beards of Mike Modano, Bill Guerin and Keith Tkachuk but it was obvious yesterday why the torch has been passed to the young guns. It seemed that the lack of experience on the American side almost seemed to help them as they didn't know they were supposed to be scared playing against the much more experienced Canadians. Ryan Miller showed poise and termendous grit in what was probably the best game of his young career.

Tiger's Dick Has Touched This Man Very Deeply

This guy is either making a play to be Tiger's new caddy or he is seriously concerned about Tiger's mother having to picture him dressed in bondage gear and screaming the safe word as he gets paddled by a porn star. Either way this is very painful to watch. All the action goes down in the first 20 seconds.

When Did John Daly Turn Into Brett Favre

New John

VS

Old John


Turns out John Daly is an underwear model these days. If he can turn it around like this than I guess there is still hope for me. Anyone wanna give me money to hawk their undies?

Wolverine Basketball You're Dead To Me

I'm fuckin pissed. They're making a mockery of my words. U understand that? Well u will. I try to give them a fuckin pep talk and not act like our future is as bleak as the past and that is the performance they give me? I wanna vomit right now.

Just a putrid day of long range shooting by the Wolverines let PSU make a run and tie shit up at half when they could've easily made a 5 or 6 point run once they were up a few and pretty much ended it in the first half. Instead PSU had to hire a dump truck to carry all their momentum into the half. That's when I knew my money was gone but I still held out a glimmer of fuckin hope that we could beat one of the worst teams in the big ten at home. Hellllllll nooooooo. Are u kidding me. This team is the worst. Talentless, mindless and gutless is a horrible way to go through a season. And I know people are gonna talk about their late push in the second half and the Manny steal and dunk to bring Michigan back in it late in the second half but that's just shit. Even a salmon flops around a few times after you club it on the head. The difference is that the smart ones never put themselves in that position by getting caught in the first place.

Fuckin Wolverines. I'm done with them. People wanna bitch and moan about how embarrassed they are about the football team, and don't get me wrong they fuckin suck too, but I want to hear some people start calling for Beilein's head to roll. Guy hasn't done shit that Tommy Amaker wouldn't have done if he didn't have to run a marathon with leg irons on. Just look at what he is doing at Harvard these days, dude is 18-6! Beilein has one tourney win in three seasons with all these over hyped clowns. For me it all comes down to the fact that they are undisciplined, inconsistent and completely incapable of running his system. You have a team philosophy that lives and dies by the three and you can't fuckin hit one to save your life. Well guess what John, if that's the case more times than not you're gonna die.

In closing, I will not watch another minute of this garbage nor will I invest another iota of my time or energy into covering their asses if they refuse to show up and even attempt to pass it off like they give a shit about winning. Cause they flat out don't. John doesn't cause he is up for sainthood and takes shits that don't stink, and the players absolutely don't cause they still get their hog smoked in West Quad win or lose. Yeah even Novak. So seriously where is the motivation? And NBA futures? Bahahahaha! Manny and his fade away front iron threes will find a real nice spot in the D league 3 point shooting contest. I'd like to give Sims a chance cause he works hard, but dude is undersized and lacks any real passion for the one thing in life that could make him special. I'm just done, totally done. I hope we win the NIT and John has to pretend like that is some type of actual accomplishment. That shit will be hilarious. See u next year Wolverine basketball and if anyone wants to write about them in the meantime then be my guest. Cause I got a two word review for their season. Shit sandwich.



I'm out.