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Saturday, February 20, 2010

They Call Him Johnny Mo, I Call Him Johnny Oh!



So the Lady Friend stole my computer and got some revenge. I gotta give it to her she pretty much nailed this. Mmase

Now, I love Lindsey Vonn as much as everyone but it's time to give all the ladies out there some eyes candy of their own and I found him. Introducing Johnny Mo.

John Morris, the bad boy of curling, first caught my eye during the Canada vs Great Britain curling battle. The more I learned about Johnny Mo the more I wanted him to be my Mountie. Not only do his biceps explode out of that awkward curling polo but this man is a firefighter in real life...that's hott. Here are some other sexy facts about our boy Johnny...

1 - After losing a match during the 2001 Olympic Trials he ripped off his shirt and threw it into the garbage.

2 - Teammates and friends say that Johnny is "hard to read" and everyone knows that women love a man of mystery.

3 - In a fit of rage Johnny snapped a broom stick in half after missing a shot.

What a man.

So I'm here watching this curling match, debating hopping on a plane to Vancouver to find the man of my dreams. To use my favorite Olympic term, this is a high risk-high reward situation. I could lose my favorite Detroit sports loving blogger but could end up with the Brock Martinez of curling. What's a girl do?




Lady Friend

Lindsey Relives Her First Time



"I just took the tip. I don't do that very often, unfortunately, so I'm disappointed that I did that. But I definitely gave it all I had and I'm not walking away disappointed cause all you can do is your best."
-Lindsey Vonn

That a girl Lindsey. I knew you were a tiger in the sack. I really love that you are open to trying things that you don't normally do and you give it all you have. Can we get this girl a Wheaties box already?



Thanks to Bmase for catching this and taping it like 12 times to make it look good

MMM...Bronze Is Harder Than Gold


NYdailynews - A snowboard bronze medalist from New Hampshire is kissing the Olympics goodbye after risque photos emerged of a girl kissing his medal hello. Halfpipe boarder Scotty Lago volunteered to leave the Vancouver Games amidst the sneers of Olympic officials reacting to photos of a girl kissing his medal - which was affixed to his pants and covering his crotch. There was a second photo of Lago holding the medal in his hand as the attractive young woman bit down on it as if to prove the authenticity of the bronze, while teammate Greg Bretz looked on.Men's halfpipe snowboarding is over and Lago was not set to compete again at these Winter Games.

Man I totally missed the boat on this whole snowboarding thing. I mean when I was like 12 and skiing my ass all over Ski Brule in northern Wisconson, I thought snowboarders were just Jinco wearing losers who would disappear like pogs did in the late 90's. Shit, turns out I was wrong. Apparently coming in third place gets you blown in public. Fuck my life. I knew buying those snowblades instead of that snowboard was a mistake.

Bucks Are My New Favorite Team


VS



Fuckin Stones lost another one last night 91-85 after blowing an early lead against the Milwaukee Bucks. In all seriousness I just assumed the Pistons would come out and roll over hoping for a belly rub, but it turns out the Stones hit their first 11 shots of the game and jumped out to an early lead. But even after going 12 for 15 in the first quarter they somehow only led by 6 points. This was mostly due to the fact that the Bucks are the new hotness of the Midwest and have amassed a sweet ass lineup that I just fuckin love. I had no idea that the lowly Bucks had picked up the greatest "chucker" of all time, Jerry Stackhouse and playboy, Carlos Delfino to go with their already sweet lineup of Jennings, Bogut, Redd and MSU alum Charlie Bell. I even really have a thing for John Salmons and his father time goatee. This team is looking pretty showtime these days and if they can just pick up Darko after the T-wolves release him, well then, I'm moving to Milwaukee and getting season tickets with Mike Shank.

PS - I am really starting to hate the indifference of John Kuester. He delivered this incredibly insightful post game comment to help Pistons fans make sense of it all.

"We made some big plays. We started off shooting the ball so well, and then when we went to our bench, it just stopped."

Yup, that pretty much sums it up John. Can we get a guy in here with a little passion for Christ's sake? I suggest Joe D should hire Coach Wilson cause he knows a thing or two about personal pride. No way in hell he would embarrass the program like John has. You gotta watch this whole thing. It starts slow but you won't ever want these four minutes of your life back. In fact i'm pretty sure you will waste many more four minute segments of your life on it in the future.



Don't Forget To Take Your Daily Dose Of Millen



This was one of the first Millen broadcasts that I remember seeing and after the Lions sent him packing. Check out the bottom local news ticker. Not only are the people of Detroit the most resilient in the world, they have a great sense of humor. Boom Roasted!

I also had this t-shirt sent to me the other day. I'm putting in an order for draft day. Let me know if you want in.







Thanks to Bmase, Andy and Mallard

Lucy Has Her Milkbones On U of M -8.5 @ Chrysler


VS



Michigan plays the utterly inept Penn State Nittany Lions tonight at Chrysler. If Michigan can't blow out Penn State at home then they should seriously consider dropping their basketball program all together. Day in and day out, teams exploit mismatches against weaker opponents but Michigan just doesn't ever seem to do it. Thats real noble work they do, just grinding out their rent money.

Even though I think this game is basically meaningless, the Wolverines will still show up and give fans a preview of what Big Ten games against shitty opponents should be like next year. Michigan takes this one down, book it.


The Pick: UofM -8.5

Friday, February 19, 2010

Stripper Sticks It To Duke Lacrosse


DURHAM - Mangum, 31, known as the accuser in the Duke lacrosse case, was arrested after police say she set her apartment on fire and tried to kill her boyfriend around midnight Wednesday while her three young children were in the home. She is in the Durham County jail in lieu of $1 million bail. Mangum is accused of scratching, punching and throwing things at her boyfriend, Milton Walker. She also took Walker's clothes, and with everyone still in the home, placed them in a bathtub and lit them on fire, according to arrest warrants. Light smoke was coming from the home when firefighters arrived. The fire was contained to the bathroom, and the apartment sustained heavy smoke damage. She faces charges of attempted first-degree murder, five counts of first-degree arson, three counts of misdemeanor child abuse, resisting arrest, identity theft, communicating threats, assault and battery, and injury to personal property. Her criminal past includes multiple driving infractions and a 2003 conviction for assault on a government official. She served 60 days in jail and two years' probation on the assault charge.

This chick from the Duke lacrosse rape scandal is fighting her way back into the news these days in a blaze of glory, pardon the pun. Turns out she went all Lisa Left Eye Lopez and lit her boyfriend's house on fire. I wonder how she is gonna spin this one? Probably gonna act like her kids were taking a bath in lighter fluid while smoking cigars and shit just kinda went up. Oops. Not my fault.

But on a side note, I'm gonna defend her on the murder charge. Throwing things at somebody doesn't constitute attempted murder unless they are tomahawks. If you wanna murder someone you unplug their carbon monoxide detector like a regular person. After that its just a matter of time.



Thanks to Motay for the tip