As I'm sure you've noticed, not a lot of posts coming outta jbs lately. Been finishing up with school and now I'm packing up the life and heading West. The Lady Friend, Lucy Bones, and I should be getting into Denver late Friday night so probably won't be around till sometime next week. Enjoy the summer and follow JoeyBlueSkies on Twitter for trip updates.
Was watching one of the 200 reality shows about auction hunting and saw this dude flash some ink that looked eerily similar to mine. Totallyfuckinbelievable. I guess it's time to get a butter knife and start scraping.
(WXYZ) - Actor Rainn Wilson has touched off a minor firestorm on Twitter over a tweet he posted on the reaction of some Vancouver Canucks fans to their team's loss in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. The loss touched off riots in the Canadian city, with 150 people needing treatment at the hospital and another 100 being arrested.
In response to the riots, Wilson posted "Vancouver is now the Detroit of Canada." on his Twitter account .
The response to that tweet was such that Wilson felt the need to respond to it two hours later with "Wow, I pissed off a lot of Vancouverites and Detroit folk. In penance I'm going to tip over my Prius and set fire to it." Wilson further responded later Thursday with another tweet saying "Man, I have a new-found respect for Detroit after the angry shellacking Ive taken from my crack this AM. U guys sure rally to yr city!"
Vancouver wishes they had 11 cups. Eat a dick Rainn.
Surprised Ryan Dunn got taken down my something as normal as a car crash. Figured he would've probably gotten tetanus from having his butt cheeks pierced together or something.
Why would you ever agree to do this when you've got an arm like Smalls from the Sandlot? Good thing I'm around to give some advice.
JBS: Man, this is baseball. You gotta stop thinking. Just have fun. I mean, if you were having fun you would've made that throw. You ever have a paper route?
John Wall: I helped a guy once.
JBS: Okay, well chuck it like you throw paper. When your arm gets here, just let go. Just let go, it's that easy.
John Wall: How do I catch it?
JBS: Just stand there and stick your glove out in the air. I'll take care of it.
Probably gonna get crucified for saying this but Coney Dogs are gross as shit. Now I can't speak from experience cause I've never actually had a real Detroit Coney due to my phobia of mustard but I have this general rule about not eating anything that looks like baby diarrhea.
This pic is from the Freep so it's not part of the contest. I just couldn't resist.
I'm sure most people expect me to rip this Kris Jenner wannabe apart but I'm not gonna. After watching this little girl walk up those steps completely defeated there's just no way I can defend her. You roll over faster than my pit bull Lucy looking for a belly rub and you're destined for one thing in life. Marrying into the Millen family. Good luck with that.
This is why I love baseball. If a guy gets a little to close to the plate then you just go ahead and plunk him. Done and done. Pitcher if possible, catcher just as good.
This actually brings me back to when I was in little league and catching for Ansel. We were playing Angeli's and any time they got a guy on second base they'd try and steal third by having the right-handed batter not step out of the batters box and consequentially block the path of my throw to third base. It happened once and I let it go. Then another fuck did it and I started to realize it was intentional. If there was gonna be a third time I decided I was gonna do something about it.
Two innings later they had another guy on second and I got nice and ready for the throw. Right on cue the guy took off and sure as shit the batter didn't move an inch so I wound up and threw a laser as hard as I could right off his temple. Kid hit the deck screaming in pain and I went apeshit on the umpire screaming about batter interference and how the runner should be out. I didn't get the call even though I thought I had a sweet rapport with the umpiring crew. I guess they didn't respected the Tony Pena catching stance I used to go with as much as I thought. Still, it's one of the best decisions I've ever made during a sporting event.
PS - Victorino is lucky he went with that pussy batting helmet with ear protection on both sides.
It's been a pretty shitty Friday. It's raining outside, Wendy's has settled in, and Valenti is out for the 2nd straight day on Valenti and Foster. But just as I was about to go hide out in the shitter for the rest of the work day, Vegas throws me a bone. Wings going off at 12/1???
12 to 1 are the odds of me having sex with a girl, and her actually enjoying it.
Here's a tip, get real liquored up tonight (i'm talking motay kind of drunk), and put down $100 on the wings to win it. Chances are you won't remember in the morning, and come next June, you'll be making it rain at Leggs of Ypsilanti.
PS - You really want to be against this? Yeah, and go say bogey bogey bogey to a pitbull while your at it.
I was born in the wrong era. Absolutely no doubt about it. Fuckin fishing trips on the Cheybogan, mustaches, brewskis, bbq tongs, it doesn't get any more Pure Michigan than this.
PS - Don't think I'm sleeping on those tube socks either. Love me some tube socks.
Thanks to Frequent-Flyer-BlueSkier Ryan for the pic of his dad and 3 buddies. I gotta know though, which one is your pops? My money is on the guy in red who looks like he just came from a softball game.
If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. You gotta keep your head on a swivel in these situations. I mean if you saw what Aaron Rome did to Horton when he put his head down then you had to expect this. Except him being on his cell phone. Didn't see that coming at all.
Didn't laugh once during this whole thing. It's not that I'm some super special, morally superior being, far from it actually. It's just that I'm not even sure if it's funny. Like, the premise is kinda ironic. She's handicapped but her vagina ain't. I get that, but the rest just kinda made me uncomfortable. I really hope she gets fame and fortune or Mini-Me's dick or whatever it is that she wants outta this.
PS - I've seen a lot of spinals people, and this chick's a fake, a fucking gold breaker! Yah, she walks. I've never been more certain of anything in my life.
Vancouver fans once again decided that if you can't beat 'em, then burn your city to the ground. Reports now coming out indicate that roughly 140 people were injured as Canuck fans took to the streets and burned police cars, destroyed storefronts, and caused massive disruptions after their game 7 loss to the Boston Bruins. As of now only one man has reported having his genitals incinerated off.
Personally, I've never got looting after a defeat. It doesn't make any sense to me. Why would anyone destroy their own shit on purpose? I can maybe see getting behind it if you're the road team in some crappy city like Columbus where you'd basically be doing them a favor, but there's no sense in losing a title and then having to wake up the next morning and flip your car back over so you can get to work. That's fricken senseless.
How do you go from being one of the most respected, innovative AD's in the country, to using jersey shore to try to sell tickets via twitter. What up Mark, was Taylor Hicks already booked? Just like his awful logo change about 2 years ago, I imagine their will be a big enough fan backlash, that this will get shut down pretty quick. Did he not see the sitch flop on comedy central?
Hmmm, but that got me thinking. This could work at the Breslin Center. All of those dorks up in the izzone have never gotten laid, Snooki could go off.
Oh, glory to God in the highest! Hallelujah! The hot weather is back and that means so are the asses on location.
I snagged this one the other day on accident as I was just really trying to get a shot of this awesome Seinfeld puffy shirt I saw on the subway. Not my fault she just so happened to have a well manicured backyard.
Pic Score - 8.2 You gotta give it up for the fact that I got two shots and that I incorporated a classic Seinfeld theme.
Ass Score - NA I've decided I'm out of the ass scoring business. I mean don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the AOL. It's honestly one of the main things that brings me and the readers together. But I got to a point somewhere around the 4th dozen ass when I basically ran outta words for ass and now I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels. So I've come up with a new formula.
New Formula - Just like always, you take the AOL's and send them in. This time include either a funny anecdote about the situation or a straight up pic/ass combo score outta 20 like we did in the past. So essentially it's the same formula with just you doing the work.
PS - If I feel like my two cents is needed then I'll chime in. Like for example if someone sent me this puffy shirt AOL I would conclude it with this...
Unless Jay Cutler and all the other NFC North QBs install one of these unbreakable glass walls in front of them this upcoming year they're fucked. Suh and Fairley gonna eat your children.
This orangutan is nicer than half the people I know. Nobody helps each other out anymore. This has to just be a product of boredom from being trapped in that cage for the last 30 years of his life. Gotta do something to pass the time between jerk off sessions.
Brennan Boesch is making a major play to become my tiger. He's been quietly going about his business all season long and lately it appears that he's at a place where he's figured out how to consistently hit for power. His 5 hit, two homerun night against Texas and his 2 run shot last night against Seattle have convinced me that Brennan is more than just another interchangeable white dude brought up from Toledo. I wouldn't be surprised to see Boesch get 30 jacks on the year while keeping his batting average floating somewhere around the .285 mark. The guy is basically Mickey Tettleton minus the dope batting stance.
Well, it's pretty obvious JP heard I was moving to Denver and she's already started scouting locations to stage our "chance" encounter. She better just be careful cause the Lady Friend is out there on business and ain't afraid to defend her home turf.
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JOEYBLUESKIES.COM DICTIONARY
Joey Blueskies-A derogatory nickname for Detroit Lions' quarterback, Joey Harrington which came about as fans realized that, no matter how badly he played, Harrington always characterized his performances, and the situation in general, in an extremely positive or "blueskies" manner. Lions Bumaya!- translates to English as "Lions kill him!" and is the rallying cry of any true Lions fan. "Ali Bumaye" was the local's chant before and during the "rumble in the jungle" fight between Mohammed Ali and George Foreman in Zaire in 1974.
Totallyfuckinbelievable- my life sucks so bad that this bullshit is totally fucking believable, hence it's totallyfuckinbelievable. From the root, unfuckinbelievable.
Eating the Cornbread- the undying and undeserved optimism Detroit Lions fans bring to the beginning of each season. If you think the Lions are winning more than 6 games this year you're eating the cornbread.
Rap Videoing- The act of pouring or spraying an alcoholic beverage onto the head or chest of a friend in a celebratory fashion, all the while yelling "Rap Video!".
Lions Sisu!- translates to "Lions need strength of will, determination, perseverance and to act rationally in the face of adversity." Joe Paquette brought the Finnish message with him when he walked from the U.P. to Detroit in order to tell the Lions they need Sisu.
A.O.L.- asses on location. Whenever a blueskier sees a smoking hot ass walking down the street, as a readers fee, it's their responsibility to take a photo of said ass and send it to me at which point I will post it and grade it.
Blursday - drinking so much on a Thursday night that it becomes blurry.
Michigander- the preferred nomanclature when referring to anyone from Michigan. Beat out Michiganian in our official jbs.com poll
