Thrashers' Move to Winnipeg Could Mean Switch to Eastern Conference for Wings

The Wings have been looking to get into the Eastern Conference for some time now. It would eliminate the long West coast road trips that always seem to burn them out during the season and also keep Wings fans from having to stay up to all hours of the night during those 10:30pm playoff starts. It would also allow them to rekindle rivalries with four of the original six teams that are currently in the East, most notably Toronto. The only real negative to the whole thing is that the West would lose their most storied team and get the Thrashers in return. We'd also probably watch the Wings/Hawks rivalry fade away but if I'm getting the B's, Rangers, Habs, and Leafs in return, I'll take it.

PS - If Columbus gets the nod to switch conferences I'd understand it because they're slightly further East but giving it to Nashville makes no sense.

ESPN College Football Live Just Asked Matt Millen To Put On His "GM Hat" and Dissect Terrell Pryor's NFL Future. Bahahahahaha!

Oh that's rich. Why don't we just ask Lloyd McClendon to help the Tigers with their hitting woes while we're at it! Hahahaha!

Wait, nevermind.

Terrelle Pryor May Be Dumber Than We All Thought

Suntimes - Pryor drove up to a players-only team meeting on Monday night in a coal-black Nissan 350Z sports car with 30-day plates. The automotive information site Edmunds.com lists a recent, used 350Z, which it calls “a proper sports car for the everyman,” as costing between $16,000 and $27,000.

In my eyes it's pretty obvious Terrelle Pryor never plans on stepping foot on a collegiate football field again. If he is considering coming back after his 5 game suspension next season, then he might be even dumber than I ever imagined. Cause you'd have to be straight mental to roll up to a team meeting in a car with dealer plates in the midst of this monster scandal when one of the main issues is you driving around in cars not belonging to you.

I mean what a complete and utter jackass. How self-centered can you be? The whole reason you're even having this meeting is to inform the players that the best coach the university has ever had is resigning because of how serious this whole scandal is. Tressel's reputation is ruined, the Universities reputation is ruined, and Pryor doesn't even have the brains to take the fuckin bus. Just your classic OSU dickhead.

Fan Gets on the Ice and Starts Throwing

I've gotta ask the obvious question. How did this kid not get absolutely destroyed? I mean have you ever tried standing on an ice rink in shoes? It's f'n impossible. The only way you even have a chance is if you do the coach's shuffle they use to get to and from the bench between periods and even then you'd be lucky to not bust your ass. Add throwing haymakers to the equation and you've got no chance. But somehow this kid tip-toes around the linesman, who sucks at his job btw, and starts landing blows. Totally defied the odds. Oh, and there's a chick out there too? Jeez, flippin bizarro world.

Don't You Ever Tell Me How To Parent My Kids

I'm still a ways off from even entertaining the thought of children but you better believe when I do I'll never let anyone tell me how to parent them, especially some rent a cop at a Dodgers game. If I wanna toss my kid aside for a chance at a souvenir then that's my prerogative. If the second he learns to walk I show him where the beer shelf in the fridge is and he becomes a beer fetching robot then well, good for me. Don't forget the koozie son. Or if I wanna teach him to throw a nasty 12 to 6 bender that no one in little league can touch and he subsequently blows out his rotator cuff before the 5th grade then that's my problem. All I know is there are countless moments throughout each day to be a good dad to your kids, but you only get a real good shot at a foul ball once or twice in your life. You and you alone should be able to make that call.

Drunk Hotdog Eating and the 5 Second Rule

Listen, I'm a huge advocate of the 5 second rule. It's pretty much as reliable as gravity. Snatch it up, give it a good blow and a once over with your eyes, and boom, you're good to go. But the one place I might not test this principle would be on the subway. It's a guaranteed fact that every single nook and cranny of the subway was at some time covered in either urine or vomit. Most times both. In conclusion, if you drop food on the subway, don't ever pick it up and eat it. Find a bum and give it to him.

PS - It's a good thing that this chick is eating this dog condiment free cause if it has any condiments on it the 5 second rule is completely outta play.

PSS - Best part about the video is when the conductor tells everyone to stand clear of the doors and she gets pissed cause the train hasn't moved yet.

Damn You, Bieber!

While Bieber was out riding wave runners and cuppin' Selena Gomez's ass all Memorial Day weekend I was sitting home sick as shit. It's like the kid is playing chess while I'm still reading the directions for Ants in the Pants.


And yeah, the Lady Friend actually found Ants in the Pants being given away on someone's stoop and brought it home for my sick ass. Amazing woman.

John Kuester Will Be Out As Pistons Coach

In other "no kiddin" news I'd like to announce the sun will rise tomorrow and that Bmase is still overweight. The only thing left to do now is officially can his ass and find a new coach before every solid candidate is gone. I would've really liked Mike Brown but I'd probably settle for Larry Brown at this point. Only half kidding about that last part.

Morning Wood with Dania Ramirez

Holy clavicle.

Happy Memorial Day Blueskiers. Did You Know...

In 1940 the Hebrew Hammer, Hank Greenberg, was the the first American League player to be drafted for WWII and in agreeing to do so took a salary cut from $55,000 a year to $21 a month. Greenberg was a true patriot though and stated, "I made up my mind to go when I was called. My country comes first." He eventually served overseas in the China-Burma-India Theater, scouting locations for B-29 bomber bases. Promoted to captain, Greenberg served 45 months, the longest of any major league player. We here at JBS thank him and all those who have served.

Tressel Resigns as OSU Football Coach. Best Memorial Day Ever?!

Under the daunting pressure put on by Stephen A. Smith, Skip Bayless, and myself, Jim Tressel has relinquished the reins as OSU head football coach. First round of wine coolers are on me folks! Oh wait, this just in. According to ESPN, Urban Meyer is rumored to be interested in the vacancy. Couldn't even let me enjoy this for like a day could ya. Totallyfuckinbelievable.

Dombrowski Deals Scott Sizemore to Oakland for Left-Handed Reliever David Purcey. Raburn to Play 2nd Base Full Time

Freep - On Friday, the Tigers swapped second baseman Scott Sizemore to Oakland for left-handed reliever David Purcey. “We need to get our bullpen stronger,” general manager Dave Dombrowski said. “We do have other alternatives at second base.” Dombrowski indicated that if Sizemore were hitting better, someone else might have been traded for relief help.

I'm getting pretty sick of Dave Dombrowski chasing his tail these days. Deciding to not pay Polanco, the most reliable 2nd baseman in the game, because he was thinking long term that Sizemore could fill his shoes at a cheaper price was mental. Dombrowski has missed time and time again on trying to find replacements for proven players that have flown the coup. Look at Granderson absolutely destroying the ball in NY while Austin Jackson continues to struggle in his sophomore campaign against pitchers who have seen him before. Polanco is hitting right at his .303 lifetime average, remains a stalwart defender, and is still proving to be one of the toughest strikeouts in the game. Meanwhile Sizemore can't even touch major league pitching and with him getting dealt for a busted 1'st rd draft pick turned reliever it's essentially Dave waving the white flag on another big miss as GM.

What makes it even worse is that we shouldn't even need help in the bullpen. We've got Ryan Perry, another first round pick, back there not living up to his potential and a boat load of money wrapped up in Joaquin Benoit and Jose Valverde. I mean it wasn't that long ago that Dombrowski said we had roughly 10 major league ready arms in the farm system. Great Dave. Where the hell are they? It's all just a bunch of lip service to keep Tigers fans content with being in the hunt while never really acknowledging the fact that you've whiffed on countless guys during years that the division has been more than winnable. Contract year for Dombrowski and Leyland. Anything short of the post season equals the boot in my mind.

I Never Thought I'd Say This But I Think I Agree With Stephen A. Smith & Skip Bayless

I've been relatively quiet thus far on the whole Sweatergate scandal because no matter how many illiterate jabronis come out of the woodwork and admit to transgressions while at OSU they'll still never fire their scumbags messiah. They'd rather sink to the depths of hell clinging to that sweatervest as some sort of security blankie than ever admit their titles are tainted. And that leaves the ball in the hands of the NCAA. They've gotta sack up and come down with major sanctions that cripple the program to the point that OSU's hand is forced and there is no possible way they can move forward with Tressel at the helm. No doubt these are trying times in Columbus and I don't expect them to get better anytime soon.

Hurdler Faceplants 10 Yards from the Finish

Never understood why anyone would wanna run the hurdles. It's like walking the tight rope. Fuck up once and you're toast.

PS - This was the state championship race. Real nice work Flo-Jo.

Dave Brandon Talks Another Big House Expansion

Freep - Michigan athletic director Dave Brandon has talked recently, including Wednesday, about a facilities master plan the athletic department is considering. One element involves expanding Michigan Stadium at some point. Brandon said capacity could grow by another 10,000 seats. "One of the things that I’ve said publicly I’d love to do, at some point, is close in at least one of the ends, and that’s all part of the master plan for growth. The south end of the stadium would be the place that we would start, and if we were to take the bleacher system up to the top of the scoreboards, which would be even with the elevation of the East and the West towers, create a concourse that would afford fans the ability to get from one side to the other. It would take the total capacity up close to 119,000, maybe even 120,000."

I don't think more seats is what the Big House needs. I'd much rather they put a bubble over the top of that mother and trap in the sound. Played hockey in one of these growing up and the atmosphere was electric.

Braylon Makes Good on Promise & Sends 100 Cleveland Students to College

CBSSports.com reports that Edwards, who was drafted by the Cleveland Browns in 2005, followed through with a promise he made four years ago through his foundation. In 2007, he promised 100 Cleveland students he'd pay for their college tuition -- a value of $1 million -- if they performed 15 hours of community service a year and kept a grade-point average of at least 2.5. Here's what Edwards tweeted: As the 2nd most hated man in Clev & a man of my word, today I will honor a promise made to 100 students in Cleveland years ago ... The last of my Advance 100 students will graduate from my program and head off to college on scholarships that I will provide them with. Guys enjoy and embrace your new beginnings and remember your promise to me, to reach back & help someone else along the way."

Big ups to Braylon for understanding the importance of education and being charitable enough to do something about it. Great gesture from UofM's greatest wideout. I wonder when the kids of Saginaw will get their check from Charles Rogers?

Forget Suh. Forget Fairley. We've got Kung Fu Master, Andre Fluellen, Coming off the Corner

I'll go ahead and say it, this isn't Kung Fu. If it is, then I'm Bruce F'n Lee. I mean c'mon. I can slap fight chicks with the best of them. Where's my black belt?

I'm Legitimately Shocked By How Good The Heat Have Been

I for real, for real don't understand how the Heat have gotten so good. The fact that Lebron has somehow been so prolific is completely shocking to me and just proves that he really is a playoff performer. Yup, still not over him scoring the last 25 for the Cavs as they beat the Stones in double OT during game 5 back in '07. Went for 48 total that day my friends.



Probably the most amazing half hour of sports I ever remember watching, minus the Wings/Avs brawl and the Malace at the Palace of course. But seriously lets get back to the point. The Heat were something like 3 of 19 when faced with a potential tying or go-ahead shot in the last 10 seconds of the 4th quater or OT this year and Lebron could be charged with roughly half of those misses. How do you go from that to hitting every single shot down the stretch when it matters most? Not to mention that when you're guarding Derek Rose he's gone 6.3% shooting for the series. That's bonkers good.

It's too bad too, cause all I wanna do is go LEBRON CRAZY!!! with all the excitement and do something nuts like say he's better than Jordan. But that's not even realistic ya know, cause of the six rings and all.

Oh, wait, fuck, nevermind, I think Scottie Pippen just did it anyway.

Brian Rafalski Hangs Up the Skates for Good

Three time Stanley Cup champion Brian Rafalski announced yesterday morning that he will retire from the game of hockey. Rafalski's speed and timely scoring will surely be missed next year on the Detroit blueline, especially as the Wings await an announcement from fellow defenseman Nicklas Lidstrom about his future. Lidstrom, who unlike Rafalski had a healthy and productive year, is expected to re-sign for another term with the Wings. Getting Lidstrom back, who most still consider to be the best defenseman in the game, now becomes essential. The departure of Rafalski will also free up 6 million dollars to spend along the backend on either an elite defensemen or possibly a combination of several serviceable guys. Babcock has already expressed his opinion that a big name is needed to cover the loss of talent with Rafalski's departure. If that's the case, Vancouver Canucks Kevin Bieksa would be my leading candidate.

In More Nate Burleson News: Dude, Your Elbow Pad Is Supposed To Go Over Your Skin

For a guy who just became a 3rd WR he sure knows how to keep his name in the news. Most recently with this picture he tweeted of his ballooned up elbow. F'n gross.

Chalk Up Another Golden Sombrero Night For Adam Dunn

I don't give Dombrowski credit for much these days, but I'll eat crow when I'm wrong. And making the decision to not acquire Adam Dunn will go down in history as probably Dave's third best move of all time behind bringing in Pudge and Cabrera. With a 4 strikeout night, Dunn is up to a league leading 65 K's on the season and is batting a staggering .185. He's on pace to strikeout 203 times and hit just 16 homers. What might be even worse is he's 0-33 against lefties with 15 K's. I'm thinking it's time for Ozzie to start giving him the Granderson treatment and sit this guy down when lefties hit the mound.

Do Nate Burleson's Comments About Detroit Piss You Off?

 


"Seeing about 35 guys there working out — this time of year, in Detroit is not the most desirable place, so you got guys flying in, paying for their own hotel, paying for rental cars — so that just kind of shows the dedication and really the direction of our team right now.”

Sports talk radio is abuzz with Nate Burleson's comment about Detroit not being a desirable place to be. I for one wasn't offended by his comment and barely took note of it when I first watched the clip. He's obviously just making a statement about how Detroit is down on their luck, which is no secret, and how the team is making sacrifices for a fanbase that is itching for a winner. I'm just happy that they're working together to be prepared for when the season starts and aren't pussyfooting around like some other guys I know.

Morning Wood with Naya Rivera

Happy Friday. Time to get a little gleeful this morning with Naya.

The Lovebrella, Best Or Worst Invention Ever?

So I was over at my buddy Chris' the other day and he was going on about how dudes always seems to get shafted when it comes to sharing an umbrella with a lady friend. I mean you can either each have your own in which case you'd need Inspector Gadget arms to get any booty cuppin done or you can get soaked trying to cram in under hers. It's a lose, lose. Enter the Lovebrella. The newest and what I think is the greatest innovation in raingear yet. It's supposed to give adequate protection from the elements while still allowing the lovely couple to get comfy. Just look at these two. No doubt they're boning later tonight.

"Shit Kids In Brooklyn Say"

I was teaching some tumbling to a group of first graders and this smart phone came flying out of some kids pocket. I confiscated it in accordance with school policy and that's when he yelled...

"My mommy is gonna be mad at you. She doesn't like it when she can't reach me."

Yup, this is somehow real life. Kid's fricken 6.

Swamped At Work Today

I'll be back tonight.

My Life is Officially Over. Kim Kardashian Engaged To Kris Humphries

Socialite and TV star Kim Kardashian is engaged to marry her basketball player boyfriend Kris Humphries. Kardashian's partner of six months proposed at her Los Angeles home last week, and she accepted. She tells People.com, "I was in such shock. I didn't expect this at all. My hand was shaking as he put the ring on my finger - shaking! I was so excited." The New Jersey Nets player made sure the setting was incredibly romantic - he popped the question on bended knee with a 20.5 carat diamond ring, surrounded by candles and dozens of rose petals that spelled out, 'Will you marry

I've said it before, I'll say it again. Kris fuckin Humphries! Really, Kris Humphries!? Man Kimbo, you wanna scrape the bottom of the NBA barrel you could've at least married Darko. He could've bought you a 40 carat ring and still would've had enough Piston's money left over that you'd never have to order from the value menu at Taco Bell. Just the worst life decision in the history of famous people life decisions.

Jalen Rose Pleads Guilty To Pounding 6 Martinis and Going Sledding In His Escalade

Former Michigan star and NBA player Jalen Rose pleaded guilty today to drunken driving, telling a judge he was embarrassed to admit that he drank six martinis the night he veered off a snowy road and rolled his Cadillac Escalade. Standing beside his attorney, Rose pleaded guilty in district court in Bloomfield Hills to operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated. He faces up to 93 days in a jail, a $500 fine and court costs when he’s sentenced July 27.

I don't hate ya Jalen. Everybody makes bad decisions. I'm just glad you didn't call anyone a f****** cause that shit is career suicide. But for real for real, DUIs are common practice in sports. It's like cheating on your wife. Just keep on keeping on and everyone will forget in a few weeks. Just ask Cabrera. Tiger fans like him more after the whole steakhouse, gun waving, scotch drinking incident.

Now, on a lighter note. I'm off to drink 6 martinis and enjoy a bluegrass band in Brooklyn. Don't worry, I'm taking the train.

Beckham Snags Kid Running Around on the Pitch

What is Beckham thinking here? There are responsibilities that come with being the sexiest man alive. You can't just go around tackling people when they run on the field cause now we're looking at an epidemic of bitches jumping outta the upper deck for a chance to get felt up by Becks. The league should probably just institute a policy that anytime someone runs on the field you cave in their face with a bicycle kick square to the dome.

Mexican Prison Has Bar Behind Bars

A prison workshop in northern Mexico where inmates were supposed to be learning trades was found to contain a bar behind bars — complete with beer, vodka, tequila, and billiard tables. Federal police and local authorities discovered the bar Monday at a minimum-security prison in the northern state of Chihuahua, the state attorney general's office said in a statement. Seized from the site were 20 bottles of vodka, 12 bottles of tequila, and 200 beer cans. Police also found three guns, 20 cell phones, 180 individual doses of marijuana and 90 doses of heroin.

Anyone wanna throw on some sombreros and rob a bank in Cancun? Shit, 200 cans of beer? This prison sounds better than my real life.

Morning Wood with Whitney Port

Lot of mixed reviews on Whitney. She gets a solid B from me.

Suh Lands in London for Gumball 3000 Road Rally

Freep - Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh has hopped the pond to Europe to prepare for the start of the transcontinental Gumball 3000 road rally. He's one of several celebrity drivers in the event. Today, he tweeted the attached photo with these words: "Yo yo yo twitter fam made it to London and checked out Trafalgar Square and found this."

So for those of you who don't know, the Gumball 3000 is an annual 3,000 mile international road rally which takes place on public roads, with a different 3,000 mile route around the world each year. This year they're going from London to Istanbul in 7 days, via Paris…Barcelona…Cannes Film Festival…The Monaco Grand Prix…Venice…Belgrade…Sofia and Istanbul. It's the same race that had to be cancelled in in '07 because of two deaths and countless run-ins with the police and it's obviously the last lockout hobby we want the face of our franchise to take up. Dude should be somewhere playing chess with The Schwartz. Fuck this lockout.

BMOC's "the save" Moves Another Rung Down the Ladder After Tim Thomas Denies Downie

If this keeps up, BMOC's "the save" will be completely phased out in another year or two. It's about time too. I mean you don't still hear Cecil going around talking about how he hit 51 home runs once. Time to move aside BMOC. You're old news.

Scientists Worry About Cell Phone Radiation and Your Brain. I Say What About My Nuts?

Each time a cell phone user makes a call, low levels of radio-frequency (RF) energy are emitted as the phone’s antenna generates radio waves that transmit people’s voices from one phone to another. The amount of radiation depends on how long a person stays on the phone, how he holds the phone to his head, and whether he uses it in the city or the country.

By 1996 various committees of scientists and engineers had reviewed numerous epidemiological studies and research on lab animals exposed to RF radiation. Two of these committees independently formulated exposure recommendations for cell phones. Their findings were used by the Federal Communications Commission to develop a standard for exposure, set in 1996 and still in place today. The standard - 1.6 watts per kilogram of tissue - is called a specific absorption rate.

There are basically only two things I want scientists to spend money on. The first is growing organs in jars so that when my liver gives out I've got another one on deck in the glove box. The second is finding out what cell phones do to our bodies. But these idiots are going about it all wrong. I don't give a flying fuck what it's doing to my brain while I talk on it, I wanna know what it's doing to my nut sack while it's in my pocket the other 99% of the time. Like, I need to know asap whether or not it's doing any serious damage cause I've had a game of Angry Birds on pause all day and I don't wanna fry my little swimmers.

Morning Wood with Sarah Shahi

If Jessica Alba and Eva Longoria had a baby it would be Sarah Shahi.