I honestly don't know what to do with myself today. A fall Sunday without the Lions is about as rare as an Alex Avila post season hit. And now that the Tigers' game just got postponed till tomorrow I need some direction for the rest of the day. Here is a list of things I might try in order to get through the worst Sunday ever.
1 - Get all my Lions Jerseys Dry Cleaned: They're covered in years of beer and various condiments. Good day to wash away all that losing.
2 - Book Club: Been dying to curl up with this one.
3 - Shower. Finally
4 - Get off the Fantasy Football schneid: Despite Jason Hanson and Sebastian Janikowski I'm still a combined 0-8 in my 2 leagues. Who knew you weren't supposed to draft kickers early?
5 - Recycle all the Empty Blaze Orange Camo Busch Cans that have Piled up in the Pantry Since Week 1
6 - Play Beer Die
7 - Go to Mass
8 - Make Love
9 - Get Lions 16-0 Tat
10 - Grab a Camera and go AOL Cruising
11 - Finally Forgive Barry
12 - Pretend the Lions are on and get all sorts of Drunk-Lions-Chick blackout anyway.
Pat Fitzgerald just about lost his well educated mind when NW went for it on 4th down inside of Michigan territory midway through the 4th quarter and Jordan Kovacs ripped Persa's helmet clean off. Initially, it seemed like Kovacs just got the qb in an awkward position and took the helmet off with a clean squeeze of the right arm but if you took a long look at the replay it was evident that Kovacs' left hand got a handful of Persa's facemask which should've resulted in a personal foul and a first down.
Would it have really mattered? Probably not, but I've got no issues with Pat blowing his top over it cause that's what separates good coaches from the rest. If you aren't prepared to argue that call then you might as well put on a skirt and grab some pom poms like Joe Pa. Mascot U.
Time to let it go big fella. I mean Hanson is absolutely killing it this year which means you've got about a zero percent chance of getting another shot at an extra point this year. Unless of course he goes down with a serious injury in which case I'm screwed. Jason is easily the best player on my fantasy team. Check out the gong show I'm running out there this week.
PS - Suh is lucky Vanden Bosch didn't rip off his head for making it rain Gatorade all over him. That shit is sticky.
I know the announcers explained that Michigan players liked the helmets with the numbers they wore against ND so much that Hoke is gonna roll with them the rest of the year but I'm actually not that into it. I think they look great and all but if you start letting Denard and company call the shots we're gonna see Brady Hoke wearing one of these rasta wigs with the dreads before we play Wisconsin.
I about crapped my pants the other day when I flipped on ESPN and saw them flash Matt Millen's resume minus the seven years of pure hell he put Detroit through. It's like applying for a job at a daycare center but leaving off the seven accounts of shaken baby syndrome you were convicted on. Oops! It all comes back to the fact I still can't believe how people associated with the NFL can turn a blind eye to the Millenium of shit that took place in Detroit. You want me to get over it then don't have the balls to put up his "resume" as he's talking cause that's just pouring salt in the wound.
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JOEYBLUESKIES.COM DICTIONARY
Joey Blueskies-A derogatory nickname for Detroit Lions' quarterback, Joey Harrington which came about as fans realized that, no matter how badly he played, Harrington always characterized his performances, and the situation in general, in an extremely positive or "blueskies" manner. Lions Bumaya!- translates to English as "Lions kill him!" and is the rallying cry of any true Lions fan. "Ali Bumaye" was the local's chant before and during the "rumble in the jungle" fight between Mohammed Ali and George Foreman in Zaire in 1974.
Totallyfuckinbelievable- my life sucks so bad that this bullshit is totally fucking believable, hence it's totallyfuckinbelievable. From the root, unfuckinbelievable.
Eating the Cornbread- the undying and undeserved optimism Detroit Lions fans bring to the beginning of each season. If you think the Lions are winning more than 6 games this year you're eating the cornbread.
Rap Videoing- The act of pouring or spraying an alcoholic beverage onto the head or chest of a friend in a celebratory fashion, all the while yelling "Rap Video!".
Lions Sisu!- translates to "Lions need strength of will, determination, perseverance and to act rationally in the face of adversity." Joe Paquette brought the Finnish message with him when he walked from the U.P. to Detroit in order to tell the Lions they need Sisu.
A.O.L.- asses on location. Whenever a blueskier sees a smoking hot ass walking down the street, as a readers fee, it's their responsibility to take a photo of said ass and send it to me at which point I will post it and grade it.
Blursday - drinking so much on a Thursday night that it becomes blurry.
Michigander- the preferred nomanclature when referring to anyone from Michigan. Beat out Michiganian in our official jbs.com poll